Issue152 V6站队 8.9 高频！感觉还可以就是超时了

mkb57288UID: 2105771

自我感觉还行，就是写得太长了--第一次超过六百，严重超时，索性超了7.5分钟把它写完
------题目------
The only responsibility of corporate executives, provided they stay within the law, is to make as much money as possible for their companies.
------正文------     648 words
Although to maximize profit is one of the most fundamental responsibilities for corporate executives, it would be too narrow to focus on that. For the overemphasis on profit are likely to do harm to our society and breed certain moral hazard for the companies, despite within the law.

I concede that to maximize profit is pivotal both to a firm and executives themselves, for without proper margin, whether the firm can survive or whether the executives can be called like that are still open to doubt. In other words, if executive cannot make money, he or she will not stay in the position for long, all the blueprint, no matter how enticing or cautious about the well-being of our society，will be no more than a utopia.However, considering the potential negative influence--both on the firms and on our society--can be caused by the assertion, Foci would be too narrow, if us to take making maximum money as the only responsibility of executives. Because by doing so, we actually risk the interest in the long run, both on the level of society and firm, as discussed below.

From the social perspectives, by placing too much emphasis on the profit, we risk devolving executives into profiteers, who often violate the bottom-line of our societal morality, despite within the law. Let us take tobacco industry as a telling example, although they are aware of laws that prevent adolescent from smoking and never violate such laws publicly, we see yearly increase in the sale of cigarette, which are definitely attribute to the enticing advertisement and their little attention on the public health. That is, when pursuiting profit, executives might make money immorally within the law, which will do harm to our society.

Even from the prospective of firms, the assertion about maximizing profit as the only goal cannot justify itself under modern firm structures, especially when we take moral hazard into account. Because as professional executives, who might only manage the company for a relative short time, they would prefer certain myopic policy, which serve to create a mint of money in their tenures but pay little attention to the long-run interest of stock-sharers. Concretely speaking, two sorts of negative influence can be exerted on a company.

To begin with, as we know, the more risk we take, the more revenue we may get, that indicates that the frenetic pursuit of profit will bring the company too much risk, which actually serves as a time bomb threatening the firm's healthy development. The hazard is more likely to occur especially when catalyzed by the greed of human nature. One need look no further than financial market to find illustrating evidence, being tempted by great profit, American Insurance Fund involveed so much in the stock market, which are relatively high in risk, as to put itself into the trouble of bankruptcy after the scandal of Enron, which are also a victim result from frenetic pursuit of profit.

In the concern with the long-run development of companies, lies another reason why I take exemption to the speaker's claim. As mentioned above, the professional executives, who are primarily concern with the balance-sheet only in their tour of duty, are likely to pay little attention to the firms' development in the long run. As a result, they may pay little attention to update the equipment of the firms or underrate the importance of investment in research, which will benefit the company in future while accomplish little in or, more often, offset the profit when the executives are in office.

In final analysis, I concede that to be survivals in the competition, executives must take making as much money as possible as one of the most important responsibilities. However, it is presumptuous for the speaker to claim maximizing profit as the only goal of executives, after all, by doing so, we risk encouraging overemphasizing making profit, which is likely to incur negative influence both on our society and firms.

[ Last edited by mkb57288 on 2005-8-18 at 22:54 ]

mrealUID: 201732

还是我来！

mrealUID: 201732

PS一般都写多少字啊，只觉得你每次都是短小精悍的，呵呵~

Issue152 V6站队 8.9 高频！感觉还可以就是超时了

自我感觉还行，就是写得太长了--第一次超过六百，严重超时，索性超了7.5分钟把它写完
------题目------
The only responsibility of corporate executives, provided they stay within the law, is to make as much money as possible for their companies.
------正文------     648 words
Although to maximize profit is one of the most fundamental responsibilities for corporate executives, it would be too narrow to focus on that. For the overemphasis on profit are likely to do harm to our society and breed牛~ certain moral hazard for the companies, despite within the law.

I concede that to maximize profit is pivotal both to a firm and executives themselves, for without proper margin, whether the firm can survive or whether the executives can be called like that are still open to doubt. That is, if executive cannot make money, he or she will not stay in the position for long, all the blueprint, no matter how enticing or cautious the well-being of our society，will be no more than a utopia.

However, considering the potential negative influence--both on the firms and on our society--can be caused by the assertion, it would be too narrow foci for us to take making maximum money as the only responsibility of executives. From the social perspectives, by placing too much emphasis on the profit, we risk devolving executives into profiteers, who often violate the bottom-line of our societal morality, despite within the law. Let us take tobacco industry as a telling example, although they are aware of laws that prevent adolescent from smoking and never violate such laws publicly, we see yearly increase in the sale of cigarette, which are definitely attribute to the enticing advertisement and their little attention on the public health.这个例子看起来有些别扭，烟草广告对于青少年具有诱惑力并不是烟草公司的责任而是烟草本身的问题，因为这样就归咎于烟草公司似乎不太公平。 还不如直接展开说烟草行业和“吸烟有害健康”直接的矛盾呢That is, when pursuiting profit, executives might make money immorally within the law, which will do harm to our society.

Even from the prospective of firms, the assertion about maximizing profit as the only goal cannot justify itself under modern firm structures, especially when we take moral hazard into account. Because as professional executives, who might only manage the company for a relative short time, they would prefer certain myopic policy, which serve to create a mint of money in their tenures but pay little attention to the long-run interest of stock-sharers.

In the concrete, two sorts of negative influence can be exerted on a company, when too much emphasis is placed on making maximum profit. To begin with, as we know, the more risk we take, the more revenue we may get, that indicates that the frenetic pursuit of profit will bring the company too much risk, which actually serves as a time bomb threatening the firm's healthy development. The hazard is more likely to occur especially when catalyzed by the greed of human nature. One need look no further than financial market to find illustrating evidence, being tempted by great profit, American Insurance Fund involveed so much in the stock market, which are relatively high in risk, as to put itself into the trouble of bankruptcy after the scandal of Enron, which are also the tragedy result from frenetic pursuit of profit.

In the concern with the long-run development of companies, lies another reason why I take exemption to the speaker's claim. As mentioned above, the professional executives, who are primarily concern with the balance-sheet only in their tour of duty, are likely to pay little attention to the firms' development in the long run. As a result, they may pay little attention重复的太近了吧 to update the equipment of the firms or underrate the importance of investment in research, which will benefit the company in future while accomplish little in or, more often, offset the profit when the executives are in office.

In final analysis, I concede that to be survivals in the competition, executives must take making as much money as possible as one of the most important responsibilities. However, it is presumptuous for the speaker to claim maximizing profit as the only goal of executives, after all, by doing so, we risk encouraging overemphasizing making profit, which is likely to incur negative influence both on our society and firms.

mrealUID: 201732

1追求最大利润是企业和管理人员地位的重要保障。
2把追求最大利润看作管理人员的唯一的责任将会对企业和社会造成潜在的不良影响。
a社会
b企业
3两种负面影响都会作用于公司，给公司带来风险。
4管理者在短期任职里过分追求最大利润会影响企业的长远发展。
如果我理解的对，我这样列出来不知你是不是也觉得有些散呢？前后的内容重叠的部分比较多，是不是应该在调整一下结构把思路表达的清楚一些呢？
总体的观点没有问题，语言……不说了，呵呵~再讨论哈~

mkb57288UID: 2105771

看样子我应该把B3和后面两段连起来写，或者段末加一句as will be discussed concretely behind，那一段里本来是没有具体的观点的，只是为了给下面两段作理论上的铺垫，所以后面才有因为In the concrete，主要是怕文章不能不能被彻底的理解，才对一些观点作了解释，实际上我是学经济的，我试图把一些浅显的专业基础知识或者说假设用更加前显得文字表达出来
实际上我想表达的文章结构是这样的：
1.让步说赢利有必要
2.讲over。。有害处
  society。。。
  firms   1。。。。2。。。。

mkb57288UID: 2105771

实际上还是用到了moral hazard 这样的专业词汇，可能给理解造成了困难
moral hazard---不是一般的查到的有关于保险的那个解释
意思是说，职业经理人利用作为insider信息方面的优势作有害所有者--股东利益的事情

mrealUID: 201732

Originally posted by mkb57288 at 2005-8-9 20:32
看样子我应该把B3和后面两段连起来写，或者段末加一句as will be discussed concretely behind，那一段里本来是没有具体的观点的，只是为了给下面两段作理论上的铺垫，所以后面才有因为In the concrete，主要是怕 ...

对，如果你的行文像你这次写的这样就清楚多了，呵呵~

nickaaronleeUID: 183378

------题目------
The only responsibility of corporate executives, provided they stay within the law, is to make as much money as possible for their companies.
------正文------     648 words
Although to maximize profit is one of the most fundamental responsibilities for corporate executives, it would be too narrow to focus on that. For the overemphasis on profit are likely to do harm to our society and breed certain moral hazard for the companies, despite within the law.

I concede that to maximize profit is pivotal both to a firm and executives themselves, for without proper margin, whether the firm can survive or whether the executives can be called like that are still open to doubt. That is, if executive cannot make money, he or she will not stay in the position for long, all the blueprint, no matter how enticing or cautious the well-being of our society，will be no more than a utopia.

However, considering the potential negative influence--both on the firms and on our society--can be caused by the assertion, it would be too narrow foci for us to take making maximum money as the only responsibility of executives. From the social perspectives, by placing too much emphasis on the profit, we risk devolving executives into profiteers, who often violate the bottom-line of our societal morality, despite within the law. Let us take tobacco industry as a telling example, although they are aware of laws that prevent adolescent from smoking and never violate such laws publicly, we see yearly increase in the sale of cigarette, which are definitely attribute to the enticing advertisement and their little attention on the public health. That is, when pursuiting profit, executives might make money immorally within the law, which will do harm to our society.（这段感觉有些绕，而且和题目关系不是很紧密）

Even from the prospective of firms, the assertion about maximizing profit as the only goal cannot justify itself under modern firm structures, especially when we take moral hazard into account. Because as professional executives, who might only manage the company for a relative short time, they would prefer certain myopic policy, which serve to create a mint of money in their tenures but pay little attention to the long-run interest of stock-sharers. （感觉说服力不够，最好能有一个相关的例子）

In the concrete, two sorts of negative influence can be exerted on a company, when too much emphasis is placed on making maximum profit. To begin with, as we know,（ the more risk we take, the more revenue we may get不一定的）, that indicates that the frenetic pursuit of profit will bring the company too much risk, which actually serves as a time bomb threatening the firm's healthy development. The hazard is more likely to occur especially when catalyzed by the greed of human nature. One need look no further than financial market to find illustrating evidence, being tempted by great profit, American Insurance Fund involveed so much in the stock market, which are relatively high in risk, as to put itself into the trouble of bankruptcy after the scandal of Enron, which are also the tragedy result from frenetic pursuit of profit.（感觉这个观点有局限性，题目已经强调了在法律范畴下）

In the concern with the long-run development of companies, lies another reason why I take exemption to the speaker's claim. As mentioned above, the professional executives, who are primarily concern with the balance-sheet only in their tour of duty, are likely to pay little attention to the firms' development in the long run. As a result, they may pay little attention to update the equipment of the firms or underrate the importance of investment in research, which will benefit the company in future while accomplish little in or, more often, offset the profit when the executives are in office.

In final analysis, I concede that to be survivals in the competition, executives must take making as much money as possible as one of the most important responsibilities. However, it is presumptuous for the speaker to claim maximizing profit as the only goal of executives, after all, by doing so, we risk encouraging overemphasizing making profit, which is likely to incur negative influence both on our society and firms.
（写了好多啊，可是感觉有些乱，逻辑性和层次性不明显。很多都在说道理，还是需要例证的，加油~~~）

mkb57288UID: 2105771

自己改了一下，尽管只有两句，感觉比原来还是清除了一些的。看样子自己反省一下也不错，呵呵