Issue95 寄托4人组 8-15

bridgewalkerUID: 208595

Issue95 第24篇 寄托4人组！
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作者：BridgeWalker     共用时间：45分2秒     418 words
从2005年8月15日8时5分到2005年8月15日8时45分
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People work more productively in teams than individually. Teamwork requires cooperation, which motivates people much more than individual competition does.
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Do people work more productively in teams rather than individually? The speaker believes so. However, as far as I am concerned, people's productivity varies a lot according to different fields and the types of the teams. A case by case analysis is necessary to address this issue.

In the first place, both individuality and teamwork have its only merits, but how these merits contribute to people's success alters in different fields. For instance, in the field of art, artists are mainly self-promoted; they largely use creativity given by individuality to to express themselves through unique art forms and styles . If they consider too much about cooperating with others, their ideas and original thinking would probably be undermined, thus the quality of their works would be weakened. On the contrary, when we look at the present academic world of science, it is the other way around. Counteracting to overspecialization which owe a lot to individualism, more and more scientists from different disciplines join together as a research panel to share their light on certain subjects. Take the space exploration program for example. No scientists of a single field can hand this project alone. Scientists from mechanics, physics, astronomy, computer science, etc. cooperate together to push this program forward. Without their collaboration, their would be no break news such as Mars landing from NASA. In short, whether individuality or teamwork is more productive should be confined to certain fields.

In the second place, even if in fields where teamwork is essential to success, the productivity generated form the team group is not warranted. Why one football team can easily defeat its adversaries? Why some company in certain industry can put their competitors out of business? From my observation, the answer lies within how the team is organized. In football game, every team, consisting of 11 people, depends its performance on the cooperation among its members. If its members are too diverse in purposes, interests, beliefs; if they put their own fame upon the reputation of the whole team; they will less likely to win in the end. This might be the reason why some world-famous football teams mainly consist of talent stars that usually turn out to be incompetent or even defeated by teams of amateurs.

In the final analysis, in different fields, individuality and teamwork contribute differently to people's productivity. And even in these fields where teamwork pays a more essential role, the ultimate effectiveness of these teams is highly affected by the way that they are organized.

[ Last edited by bridgewalker on 2005-8-15 at 18:06 ]

哥哥家有二师兄UID: 2124390

哥哥家有二师兄UID: 2124390

Issue95 第24篇 寄托4人组！
------摘要------
作者：BridgeWalker     共用时间：45分2秒     418 words
从2005年8月15日8时5分到2005年8月15日8时45分
------题目------
People work more productively in teams than individually. Teamwork requires cooperation, which motivates people much more than individual competition does.
------正文------
Do people work more productively in teams rather than individually? The speaker believes so. However, as far as I am concerned, people's productivity varies a lot according to different fields and the types of the teams.这句话似乎感觉表达不是很清晰，尽管通过这句话可以推出你并不 认为团队比单干更容易出成果，但是如果能够直接表明你的态度，然后再说如何vary好些； A case by case analysis is necessary to address this issue.

In the first place, both individuality and teamwork have its only merits, but how these merits contribute to people's success alters in different fields. For instance, in the field of art, artists are mainly self-promoted; they largely use creativity given by individuality to to express themselves through unique art forms and styles. 这里的分析有一点小的不当：重点是强调艺术家创作时是更多靠独立，但你简单提到self-promoted，并没有说在创作过程中是靠个人的，很难让人信服，因为在创作前他们有可能从别人那里被Promoted If they consider too much about cooperating with others, their ideas and original thinking would probably be undermined, thus the quality of their works would probably加个词不至于绝对化 be weakened. On the contrary, when we look at the present academic world of science, it is the other way around. Counteracting to overspecialization which owe a lot to 感觉用owe to 有点怪， 换成largely result from 如何 individualism, more and more scientists from different disciplines join together as a research panel to share their light on certain subjects. Take the space exploration program for example. No scientists of a single field can hand this project alone. Scientists from mechanics, physics, astronomy, computer science, etc. cooperate together to push this program forward. Without their collaboration, their /there would be no break/ breaking news such as Mars landing from NASA. In short, whether individuality or teamwork is more productive should be/陈述的是事实，所以感觉用is 就行了 confined to certain fields.后者论述的不错，前者关于艺术家的有点不充分

In the second place, even if in fields where teamwork is essential to success, the productivity generated form /from the team group/ 重复 is not warranted. Why one football team can easily defeat its adversaries?/ 句子有基本的语法错误 Why some company in certain industry can put their competitors out of business?/ why can some company put… From my observation, the answer lies within how the team is organized. In football games, every team, consisting of 11 people, depends its performance / the performance of every team, with its 11 members, depends on the cooperation among its members. If its members are too diverse in purposes啥目的？表意不明, interests, beliefs这里可以稍微再展开下; if they put their own fame upon the reputation of the whole team;/, they will be less likely to win in the end. This might be the reason why some world-famous football teams mainly/ delete consisting of talent stars that/ delete usually turn out to be incompetent or even defeated by teams of amateurs.这个段落的论证点很好，但是感觉用语言来表达思想的时候不够顺畅，其实我们很多人都 面临这个问题：就是在写作的时候觉得要说的东西可能别人都知道了，就挑选些在自己的理解上很关键的东西来说，很难判断自己的论证是否全面，完整，所以就当别人是白痴什么都需要我们去全面解释有助于解决这个问题

In the final analysis, in different fields, individuality and teamwork contribute differently to people's productivity. And even in these fields where teamwork pays a more essential role, the ultimate effectiveness of these teams is highly affected by the way that they are organized.结尾不错，但如果能再加句什么就好了，两个句子总让人有点意犹未尽的感觉