issue101 政治家与艺术 必回怕 同进步

冰阳UID: 201604

issue101  Governments should provide funding for artists so that the arts can flourish and be available to all people.

提纲：
position：政治家不应该赞助艺术
1.艺术灵感是来源于相对贫困的生活的， 过于富裕的生活抑制创作灵感
2. 政府对艺术的资助会使艺术变成对政治家歌功颂德的工具。
3.繁荣的艺术主要来源于政府对艺术少点限制



  What should the government do to get the flourished art, which is the symbol of the society prosperity? Basically, I do not agree with the speaker's assertion that the government should provide funding for artists to make the arts flourish. Conversely, the mere financial support will never be helpful for the prosperity of the arts, and sometimes even prevent the development of the art.

  To begin with, the artists' abundant material lives will not give the inspiration to them. The inspiration of the artist, which may be the most crucial precondition of the art creation, always comes from the careful conservation of the everyday live, and strong conflict between reality and ideal in the artists hear, or real and suffering experience of the creators, none of which can be caused by the lives in the high level. Instead, the artists always get inspired from the poor and uneven lives. For example, consider the famous artist in Holland Vincent van Gogh, who lives an extremely poor and suffering life and wholly depends on the mere funding from his brother Tiho. However from his creations we can clearly feel the impact from his painful life and the conflict caused by the reality in his heart. Or consider another famous writer Balzac, whose poor life make his familiarize with the common and poor citizens in France, and thus give his the very inspiration of his distinguished realist fiction Human Comedy. Without the poor and unbearable lives, maybe, we might lose some famous creation in the arts.

  In the second place, the financial support of the government would easily make the arts as the political tools used to sing the praise of the government. Some of the artists, who have got the financial support from the government, would lose the acute observation to the common life of the individuals, and change to praise the government. For example, in contemporary China, to gain the praise of the government, some directors of the films excessively sing the praise song to the government, and lose the original condition of the film--to observe and reflect the true society. It is undeniable that these kinds of movie do have much value to maintain the peace of the society, but in the field of the art appreciation, they have no sense at all.

  Finally, to flourish the art and make it available to all people, what the government should do is not to interfere with the freedom of the artist excessively. As the head of the art department in my university once said (and I paraphrase):"For the artist, the prevent power of their art creation is the too much restrict to there creative freedom rather than the poor and suffering life. To the extent that the creation of the artist is not harmful to the peace of the society, the political leaders should allow the artist to reflect the truth of the society, describe the real lives of the individuals in the society, and portray the very conflict in our hearts." Accordingly, the government should give the appropriate freedom to the artist.

  In conclusion, the mere funding of the government can not solve the problem that how to make the art flourish and available to all o f people. To solve this problem, the government should put the freedom of the creation of the artist as the first priority.

[ Last edited by staralways on 2005-8-16 at 11:19 ]

mkb57288UID: 2105771

由于这两天时间比较紧，我着重看一下思路和写作习惯，还望见谅

mkb57288UID: 2105771

首先说一下提纲，B1、2没问题，扣题也很好，但是B3的感觉很模糊，观点不够鲜明，不知道具体文章是怎么样的，另外Issue最好还是有破有立，最好有一点让步，不过现在这样也不错
下面是文章
开头段要力求简洁，不要写前两局那种言之无物的话
你开头的TS虽然摆明了态度，但没有引领起下文的思路，开头可以最后写，简单交待下面的观点让你的文章开头在读的时候有提纲挈领的感觉，另外觉得你写的篇数可能还不是很多，以后可以渐渐形成自己的模版
B1一段的开头要尽快让阅卷人看到你的观点，把它鲜明的摆出来TS要写的鲜明并包含一段的主要内容
总体来说后半截写得不错，前面的说理论证还 要再简洁有力鲜明一些
B2看到了这样的词sing and praise我不是到你有没有到google上确认过，感觉像是硬译可以用eulogize这样的词，不要自创表达，语言是约定俗成的，别人怎么说自己就跟着怎么说就可以了
Some of the artists, who have got the financial support from the government, would lose the acute observation to the common life of the individuals, and change to praise the government. 这个地方缺一点加强，可以在具体一点写why
B3看来你看过ETS那片通才专才的6分范文，呵呵
主要问题在于和B1的观点有一点重复，也是没有很好的把why讲清楚，或者是what is the alternative

总体感觉还可以，但是主要问题有两点，一个是TS不够鲜明，个人主张一篇文章如果让人把开头和各段的首句看完就清楚的话会比较好
另一个是由一些观点表达的不是力度很强有些内容没有衔接好思维有跳跃

批得很了点儿，见谅
没有逐词批改，主要是这几天有好多人要考了，得多改他们的文章，过几天一定补上
你还有时间，加油！！

别忘了该队友改文章哦，呵呵
另外我有一篇这个的同主题，欢迎交流思路

hohoeaseUID: 2123854

What should the government do to get the flourished art, which（还应该是what吧?) is the symbol of the society prosperity? Basically, I do not agree with the speaker's assertion that the government should provide funding for artists to make the arts flourish. Conversely, the mere financial support will never be helpful for the prosperity of the arts, and sometimes even prevent the development of the art.(开头的逻辑觉得好像有点问题，社会繁荣的标志是什么跟主题好像没什么关系啊？）
  To begin with, the artists' abundant(abundant感觉用的不好。） material lives will not give the inspiration to them.（我觉得这样可能在表意上好些，Too much enjoyment of material lives will not evoke their spark of inspiration. )The inspiration of the artist, which may be the most crucial precondition of the art creation, always comes from the careful conservation of the everyday live（life or lives), and strong conflict between reality and ideal in the artists hear, or real and suffering experience of the creators, none of which can be caused by the lives in the high level. Instead, the artists always get inspired from the poor and uneven lives. For example, consider the famous artist in Holland Vincent van Gogh, who lives an extremely poor and suffering life and wholly depends on the mere funding from his brother Tiho. However from his creations we can clearly feel the impact from his painful life and the conflict caused by the reality in his heart(reality就可以了吧不用in his heart）. Or consider another famous writer Balzac, whose poor life make(makes) his(him) familiarize with the common and poor citizens in France, and thus give(s) his(him) the very inspiration of his distinguished realist fiction Human Comedy. Without the poor and unbearable lives, maybe, we might lose some famous creation(s) in the arts.

  In the second place, the financial support of the government would easily make the arts as the political tools used to sing the praise of the government. Some of the artists, who have got the financial support from the government, would lose the acute observation to the common life of the individuals, and change to praise the government. For example, in contemporary China, to gain the praise of the government, some directors of the films excessively sing the praise song to the government, and lose the original condition of the film--to observe and reflect the true society. (这个例子举得不是很好，因为这些导演是因为收到资助而这样做吗？没有指明）It is undeniable that these kinds of movie do have much value to maintain the peace of the society, but in the field of the art appreciation, they have no sense at all.

  Finally, to flourish the art and make it available to all people, what the government should do is not to interfere with the freedom of the artist excessively. As the head of the art department in my university once said (and I paraphrase):"For the artist, the prevent power of their art creation is the too much restrict to there creative freedom rather than the poor and suffering life. To the extent that the creation of the artist is not harmful to the peace of the society, the political leaders should allow the artist to reflect the truth of the society, describe the real lives of the individuals in the society, and portray the very conflict in our hearts." （引的很好！）Accordingly, the government should give the appropriate freedom to the artist.

  In conclusion, the mere funding of the government can not solve the problem that how to make the art flourish and available to all （o f） people. To solve this problem, the government should put the freedom of the creation of the artist as the first priority. （应该是给artist自由，而不是the creation自由吧？）

总体上，还是挺好的。:)
这是我今天写的。有空看看吧。:)https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... ge=1&highlight=

[ Last edited by hohoease on 2005-8-15 at 17:32 ]

hohoeaseUID: 2123854

冰阳，谢谢你帮我拍的那么好那么仔细！
尤其感谢指出我句式单一和论述上的不足.:)
谢谢！！！：）