issue41 决战830拍砖组！今日作业，有拍必回

bythewayUID: 2120441

topic：
"Such nonmainstream areas of inquiry as astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal pursuits play a vital role in society by satisfying human needs that are not addressed by mainstream science."


正文：
    The speaker claims that some nonmainstream areas of inquiry, for example, astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal pursuits have a positive and function to the society by meeting individual needs and thus contribute to the stabilization of the whole society. I mainly agree with the speaker, for that they really satisfy some human needs that could hardly be done by other more mainstream or scientific methods.
     With the rapid development of science and technology which bring our society into a new era with a constantly growing economy and social wealth, our life has never, in the full sense of the world, been happier than before, with a growing spiritual pressure and fatigue. Hand in hand with the acceleration of economy, our rhythm of daily life has been greatly boosted. The evolution of computer immensely better our working efficiency, taking the competitive and routine work from us thus leaving us to devote the spare time into the more creative and arduous work, which enhance the intensity and difficulty of our work; the development of internet, television and such highly efficient communication highway further sparks an explosion of information, forcing us to fetch, analyse and conclude a flood of information; and the growing rivalrousness of the whole society further offer a unprecedented pressure to every one of us, in form of humiliation to losers and further urger to winners. None of us is free from it and thus the technology fails to offer much effective method, if some, to lighten our spiritual pressure and cheer us up.
     Thanks to the cryptic human wisdom, we could always find some unreasonable but effective method to gain spiritual comfort and satisfaction, such as the so-called, nonmainstream inquiries. They mysteriously execute their function by making you believe that there is a brilliant future in front of you and you can get thorough mastery of it by forecasting the coming events and being given advises of solutions by astrology, fortune-tell or something like that. Just imagine an assertion that you would earn more next year could strongly arouse your interest to life and your career when facing a desperate unemployment; and your distress could be somewhat pacified being told that your gone relatives is enjoying a pleasant life in heaven.
     Yet being benefited from mentioned above, we should also keep an eye on our behavior to going too far with them. Sometime the nonmainstream inquiries could be anesthetic, appeasement and amusement, but if a person considers it a belief, an omnipotent or the only key to his welfare, he is becoming misled. Being largely dependent on the unapproachable behaviors could diminish his ability of reasoning and analyzing in a rational way, eliminate his courage of facing challenge and his resolve of beating problems by his own. Moreover, he could even become schizophrenic by going through the real world and the world of hallucination too often and too sudden.
     After all, the nonmainstream areas of inquiry could definitely be helpful if we take a wise advantages of them as a positive additions of the mainstream world of science and technology to, pacify our spiritual anxiety and to add color to our dull routine of everyday life. As a philosophy said: Any tool could be your effective weapon, if you hold it right.

[ Last edited by staralways on 2005-8-17 at 23:04 ]

nanziUID: 2126362

1.        第二段是在描述背景吧，与主题相隔好像比较远，一二句话简单叙述为好，否则有跑题嫌疑，就算要详细地说，也应该让读者觉得在紧扣主题。
2.        三，四两段写得不错，就是..., 恕我水平比较差，好几个复杂的词看不懂，如果这些词不是你真正掌握的，建议还是用一些简明的词和句式吧。
3.        有些语言真的写得很好很有文采，值得学习！赞一个！^_^
不过如上所说，结构上的问题有些严重。
说的可能有点狠了，不一定对，但确是我的真实感受，请不要介意。
有空看看我的啊，
Argu 216:
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=322159

bythewayUID: 2120441

多谢！我也觉得我老跑题，要改拉， 呵呵