issue235 v6 8.18 同样没底！不知能不能说服别人！

hustzwjUID: 203387

235"Most people are taught that loyalty is a virtue. But loyalty—whether to one's friends, to one's school or place of employment, or to any institution—is all too often a destructive rather than a positive force."

Admittedly, the loyalty to the centralized nations is a destructive force while other forms of loyalties including loyalties to friends or any institution are positive ones which are the derivatives of the loyalty to moral.

First, I concede that the loyalties to the centralized countries were destructive forces because people loyal to the centralized country were in essence loyal to the potentate's desire and such loyalties could bring deep damages to humans in other nations. One evident example is the Japanese soldiers in the World War Two. Many Japanese populaces were taught to be loyal to the Empire of Japan which means to be loyal to all the dictations of him. However, such loyalties simply aroused most Japanese soldiers’ desires try their efforts or even give out their lives to invade other nations like China and kill thousands of innocent people while such cruel deeds were called loyalties in inland of Japan.

On the other hand, loyalty is generally defined as one's adhering to what he/she has avowed to do something in our daily life. The true loyalty also presents itself as the practice but not only words. As we know, there are various sorts of loyalties such as the loyalty to one's family member and then do everything one could to love them or loyalty to one corporation where he/she has been working and works hard to make benefits to it. Moreover, it is very through such forms of loyalties that we live many kinds of groups where cooperation and efficient orders could be possible and kept which is tremendously positive to the development of the whole society but not destructive.

Besides, the rituals or ceremonies may sometimes be treated as the presentation of one's loyalty. It is through these performances that such kinds of loyalties were descended to next generations. For instance, several years ago, the United States passed a law asking all the high school students to avow in front of the federal flag to show their loyalty to the United States. Such rituals, in fact, could teach the students to be loyal to their nation and also serves to tell them that loyalty is a virtue. After all, through these presentations the democracy could be continued.

Although the forms of loyalties in our mundane life could be various, there is only one sort of loyalty which is superior to every other form. This is the loyalty to moral. Examples illustrating this point of view are numerous in the human history. Although firstly the federal laws justify the slavery, many lawyers thought such laws were immoral themselves and did not conform it but only obey the moral. Also, when some Germanys learned the inhuman deeds of the Nazis troops, they tried their efforts to shelter the Jewish people whose lives were threatened although these Germanys were thought as disloyal to their own country. Thus, all kinds of loyalties even including loyalty to one's nation in our common life should be accordant to the basic loyalty of moral. Any efforts trying to offend the loyalty to moral should be regarded as disloyalty. It is no doubt that obeying the moral could keep the goodness of human and shed love on human world and also is the root of human civilization.

Further more, all the various forms of loyalties in our everyday life are all specifically originated from the loyalty to moral, and they are equal to each other which is called as 'loyal to loyalty itself'. Therefore, all the forms of loyalties are the necessary parts of our life.

In conclusion, although there is only one abstract word--human, we human being in reality could be good or bad persons. Likewise, the ordinary loyalties derived from the loyalty of moral could also be grouped into destructive and positive forces to the society.

wineyreUID: 2106739

我来

wineyreUID: 2106739

Admittedly, the loyalty to the centralized nations is a destructive force while other forms of loyalties including loyalties to friends or any institution are positive ones which are the derivatives of the loyalty to moral.第一段用admittedly开头，有点晕的。感觉一开始就是让步段。

First, I concede that the loyalties to the centralized countries were destructive forces because people loyal to the centralized country were in essence loyal to the potentate's desire and such loyalties could bring deep damages to humans in other nations. One evident example is the Japanese soldiers in the World War Two. Many Japanese populaces were taught to be loyal to the Empire of Japan which means to be loyal to all the dictations of him. However, such loyalties simply aroused most Japanese soldiers’ desires try their efforts or even give out their lives to invade other nations like China and kill thousands of innocent people while such cruel deeds were called loyalties in inland of Japan.这一段是说中央集权和忠诚的关系。觉得说的不是很透，有点单薄。时态注意一下。例子写完，至少完美改写该段主句话。

On the other hand, loyalty is generally defined as one's adhering to what he/she has avowed to do something in our daily life. The true loyalty also presents itself as the practice but not only words. As we know, there are various sorts of loyalties such as the loyalty to one's family member and then do everything one could to love them or loyalty to one corporation where he/she has been working and works hard to make benefits to it. Moreover, it is very through such forms of loyalties that we live many kinds of groups where cooperation and efficient orders could be possible and kept which is tremendously positive to the development of the whole society but not destructive.不举例子，纯说理？说的不够透。觉得这篇好像段落偏多了一点，看看能不能并起来。

Besides, the rituals or ceremonies may sometimes be treated as the presentation of one's loyalty. It is through these performances that such kinds of loyalties were descended to next generations. For instance, several years ago, the United States passed a law asking all the high school students to avow in front of the federal flag to show their loyalty to the United States. Such rituals, in fact, could teach the students to be loyal to their nation and also serves to tell them that loyalty is a virtue. After all, through these presentations the democracy could be continued.

Although the forms of loyalties in our mundane life could be various, there is only one sort of loyalty which is superior to every other form. This is the loyalty to moral. Examples illustrating this point of view are numerous in the human history. Although firstly the federal laws justify the slavery, many lawyers thought such laws were immoral themselves and did not conform it but only obey the moral. Also, when some Germanys learned the inhuman deeds of the Nazis troops, they tried their efforts to shelter the Jewish people whose lives were threatened although these Germanys were thought as disloyal to their own country. Thus, all kinds of loyalties even including loyalty to one's nation in our common life should be accordant to the basic loyalty of moral. Any efforts trying to offend the loyalty to moral should be regarded as disloyalty. It is no doubt that obeying the moral could keep the goodness of human and shed love on human world and also is the root of human civilization.觉得这段的例子是支持B1的。感觉有点混乱了。

Further more, all the various forms of loyalties in our everyday life are all specifically originated from the loyalty to moral, and they are equal to each other which is called as 'loyal to loyalty itself'. Therefore, all the forms of loyalties are the necessary parts of our life.这一段可以和上面一段合并。

In conclusion, although there is only one abstract word--human, we human being in reality could be good or bad persons. Likewise, the ordinary loyalties derived from the loyalty of moral could also be grouped into destructive and positive forces to the society.

wineyreUID: 2106739

感觉上结构有点混乱，论证不够有力，应该加强对于例子的分析。
以下是我对这题的看法。(partially agree)
While total loyalty can be destructive under some cases, loyalty should still be kept as a virtue. To be loyalty or not, greatly depends on the circumstatnce.
1. Total loyalty can sometimes be dangerous. (keep secret for a friend if he/she has violate laws,Nazis)
2. Loyalty is the fundamental moral of the society. (Loyalty between friends ensure the healthy friendship, etc)
3. To be loyalty or not, we should refer to the propriety of the events related.

hustzwjUID: 203387

谢谢wineyre的修改！
根据你的意见，现在修改如下！
235"Most people are taught that loyalty is a virtue. But loyalty—whether to one's friends, to one's school or place of employment, or to any institution—is all too often a destructive rather than a positive force."

提纲：
1）admit that there are some destructive loyalties.
2) but most loyalties like friendship, respectively, beneficial!
3)要深化了  if some loyalties seem to conflict to each other when they join together, how to solve the problem so as to prevent the negative result? ----adhere to the moral standard!

Admittedly, the loyalty to the centralized nations is a destructive force while other forms of loyalties including loyalties to friends or any institution are positive ones which are the derivatives of the loyalty to moral.

First, I concede that the loyalties to the centralized countries were destructive forces because people loyal to the centralized country were in essence loyal to the potentate's desire and such loyalties could bring deep damages to humans in other nations. One evident example is the Japanese soldiers in the World War Two. Many Japanese populaces were taught to be loyal to the Empire of Japan which means to be loyal to all the dictations of him. However, such loyalties simply aroused most Japanese soldiers’ desires try their efforts or even give out their lives to invade other nations like China and kill thousands of innocent people while such cruel deeds were called loyalties in inland of Japan.

On the other hand, loyalty is generally defined as one's adhering to what he/she has avowed to do something in our daily life. The true loyalty also presents itself as the practice but not only words. As we know, there are various sorts of loyalties such as the loyalty to one's family member and then do everything one could to love them or loyalty to one corporation where he/she has been working and works hard to make benefits to it. Moreover, it is very through such forms of loyalties that we live many kinds of groups where cooperation and efficient orders could be possible and kept which is tremendously positive to the development of the whole society but not destructive.

Besides, the rituals or ceremonies may sometimes be treated as the presentation of one's loyalty. It is through these performances that such kinds of loyalties were descended to next generations. For instance, several years ago, the United States passed a law asking all the high school students to avow in front of the federal flag to show their loyalty to the United States. Such rituals, in fact, could teach the students to be loyal to their nation and also serves to tell them that loyalty is a virtue. After all, through these presentations the democracy could be continued.
该段删掉！与主体无关！

Although the forms of loyalties in our mundane life could be various, there is only one sort of loyalty which is superior to every other form.In fact,it could obviate the possible conflicts between various loyalties and leads them to be positive forces! [加了这句或许好些！]This is the loyalty to moral. Examples illustrating this point of view are numerous in the human history. Although firstly the federal laws justify the slavery, many lawyers thought such laws were immoral themselves and did not conform it but only obey the moral. Also, when some Germanys learned the inhuman deeds of the Nazis troops, they tried their efforts to shelter the Jewish people whose lives were threatened although these Germanys were thought as disloyal to their own country. Thus, all kinds of loyalties even including loyalty to one's nation in our common life should be accordant to the basic loyalty of moral. Any efforts trying to offend the loyalty to moral should be regarded as disloyalty. It is no doubt that obeying the moral could keep the goodness of human and shed love on human world and also is the root of human civilization.

Further more, all the various forms of loyalties in our everyday life are all specifically originated from the loyalty to moral, and they are equal to each other which is called as 'loyal to loyalty itself'. Therefore, all the forms of loyalties are the necessary parts of our life.

In conclusion, although there is only one abstract word--human, we human being in reality could be good or bad persons. Likewise, the ordinary loyalties derived from the loyalty of moral could also be grouped into destructive and positive forces to the society.