今天在MSN上面闲逛看到的一封letter...things about moving on.. :( so sad

angeikimUID: 4857

from : http://spaces.msn.com/members/tothemilkywaywithk/

16 October


[B]Come hither, Heather.

Upon suggestion of what Mr. Shrinky Dink talked to me about on Friday, this is my letter that I have written to Heather. It's my way of letting go of what I have held onto for so long. It is time for me to move forward on this journey and leave the car accident memories behind me. Here I am today, bearing my soul, what's been hidden deep within me, I hope in some shape or form it helps me, and if anything maybe it will give someone the same courage to move beyond something that's been holding them back for awhile. I am sincerely hoping with writing this I will be free of the demon that has been clouding my vision for the past 10 years. It's time for me to set free the bad and hold onto the great. Keep working, let God, let go. The God part, is something I am rethinking about putting back into my life. Someone left that on here a few days ago (thank you Laura, for opening my eyes.) Simple words, with a complex meaning. For today is a new day, and I now am moving forward. I have lightened my load and want to leave my burden behind me.

-Kate[/B]




Dear Heather,

I miss you with all my heart. I wish I had the right thing to say as I am writing this, but I am just going to go with what my heart, my soul and my spirit feels. Where to start, there is no clear beginning nor is there a clear end. I need to be at peace for myself Heather, I hope you don't think it is selfish of me to want peace for myself. It brings tears to my eyes as I sit here, thinking that I am saying my good bye to you, I will always remember the good times, but I have to let go of the ones that always make it to my slumber, the nightmares that haunt me when I close my eyes. I need to let go of the pain and anger I feel. I will always love you Heather, you are forever engraved in my heart.

I'm angry, why couldn't that night have been me that was forever scarred for life. You don't know how many times I have wished that I could bring you back here for a moment just so I could tell you I wanted what happened to be me. There's a part of me that hates you, because you left me behind, you weren't supposed to leave me. I'm sorry I didn't have the strength to follow, instead I numbed any memory of you from my life. I wasted so much on nothing. Now, I want to move on, no more haunted nights, just good dreams and good thoughts. I'm taking back my life Heather, I really am. I think you might even be proud of what I have been doing, how I have chosen to make things right in my life.

I remember the first time we went ice skating on the pond in your backyard. Remember? I almost fell, but you reached out and told me you would never let me fall. How could someone at 10 years old know to say that? You were my soul sister, my confidant, my best friend and so much more. Why'd you let me fall Heather, I reached and I fell flat on my face, but now, I want more and I do believe you are here to catch me when I fall, to give me strength when I need it the most. We always had so much fun, the pond, snow angels, leaf houses, playing dress up, and remember the secret hiding place we had in the woods? It's still there, our initials in the tree are still there, with our secret crushes. We will always be together there.

Every time I see a set of twin guys, I think back to our pact we made. The one that we would only marry a set of twins so we could always be together. You said we'd go to college together, travel the world together, you promised we would marry twins and live happily ever after---together. What happened Heather, that's the part I don't understand, where did things seem so impossible that you couldn't go on--together. How do I get to have my happily ever after?

If you were here, I'd tell you all about the places I have been, the people I have met, my secrets, I would share it all with you. You decided to leave me behind Heather and now it's time for me to move past that fateful day. I need to leave the sad memories and move on with the happy memories we made together. I hope you can understand. I need my sanity, I know I always say sanity is over-rated but in this case, I crave some semblance of sanity.

Good bye, Heather. Come hither, Heather. I will miss you and love you until the day I take my last breath.

Love Always Your Partner in Crime,

Katers






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[ Last edited by angeikim on 2005-10-16 at 22:51 ]

九月爱上乒乓球UID: 151821

the twin girl got out of the memory