ISSUE51 终于写出来了

qiuzirumengUID: 199691

ISSUE51"Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student." 51． 只有针对每个学生的需要和兴趣，教育才真正的有意义

There is a growing concern over the issue of effectiveness of education that designed specifically or generally.The speaker in the title statement advocate that education will not be truely effective without it designing specifically to meet the individual needs and interests of each student. At the first glance, this opinion seems to be somewhat appealing, but further relaction tells me that I cannot agree with it for the following reasons.

  The first reason I disagree with above statement is that the efficiency of education lies in its generalization. What is the untimate aim of education ? It is not only to meet the individual needs and interest of each student, but also to make humankind more civilized during  education process. It enlightens and directs us to pursue what is really deserved to pursue. Without its direction, we may lose our way in the mordern society. For instance, if one is educated only according to his interests, he would probobally even not know what he really interests. This is the reason that generalization of education is much more fundamental and efficiency than specification of education.

  Furthermore, over-specified education will narrow down students' ken and capability of acclimation to future career. With the devolopment of mordern society, the interaction beween one career and another is becoming more and more tight. Whatever you are going to be a lawyer, a teacher,a doctor or even a police, the more kownledge you aquired, the more ability of acclimation to the future career you have.  Therefore, it is essential for every student have a basic generallization of education to aquired the capability of acclimation to future career.

  However, it should be admitted that in order to cater individual needs and to enhance interests of students, schools can offer some specifically designed programs to students. Based on the generallization of education, some of specifically designes programs may inspire the interests of students and make them more active and creative.

  From what has been discussed above, we may draw the conclusion that generalization of education is undoubtedly be more effieciency than that of specifically designed, which is also in need in a sence

I want my lifeUID: 202445

There is a growing concern over the issue of effectiveness of education that designed specifically or generally.The speaker in the title statement advocate that education will not be truely effective without it designing specifically to meet the individual needs and interests of each student. At the first glance, this opinion seems to be somewhat appealing, but further relaction tells me that I cannot agree with it for the following reasons.
好险！我差点以为你要写出argument的开头了， 能不能考虑避开这种和argument过于相像的开头呢？

The first reason I disagree with above statement is that the efficiency of education lies in its generalization. What is the untimate（拼错吧？） aim of education ? It is not only to meet the individual needs and interest of each student, but also to make humankind more civilized during  education（形容词，educational） process. It enlightens and directs us to pursue what is（去掉is） really deserved to pursue（这个是不是可以讲得更明确一些）. Without its direction, we may lose our way in the mordern society. For instance, if one is educated only according to his interests, he would probobally even not know what he really interests. （这个有道理！）This is the reason that generalization of education is much more fundamental and efficiency than specification of education.
教育的普及意义，可以

Furthermore, over-specified education will narrow down students' ken and capability of acclimation to future career. With the devolopment of mordern society, the interaction beween one career and another is becoming more and more tight. Whatever you are going to be a lawyer, a teacher,a doctor or even a police（这句有问题，前面是whatever的话，whatever you are going to be 就已经完整了）, the more kownledge you aquired（一般现在时）, the more ability of acclimation to the future career you have.  Therefore, it is essential for every student （加to）have a basic generallization of education to aquired the capability of acclimation to future career.
从职业的角度论述基本能力普及的重要性，可以的，

However, it should be admitted that in order to cater individual needs and to enhance interests of students, schools can offer some specifically designed programs to students. Based on the generallization of education, some of specifically designes（designed吧？） programs may inspire the interests of students and make them more active and creative.
这一段的论证需要再充分些，继续展开

From what has been discussed above, we may draw the conclusion that generalization of education is undoubtedly be more effieciency than that of specifically designed, which is also in need in a sence

各段的展开还可以再充分些，继续加油！

qiuzirumengUID: 199691

谢谢鼓励，第一次写感觉错误很多又不知道说什莫，谢谢你的耐心指点

neso124UID: 174451

There is a growing concern over the issue of effectiveness of education that designed specifically or generally.The speaker in the title statement advocate that education will not be truely effective without it(这里it可以去掉的吧) designing specifically to meet the individual needs and interests of each student. At the first glance, this opinion seems to be somewhat appealing（用plausible比较好）, but further relaction（这个是什么单词？？呵呵） tells me that I cannot agree with it for the following reasons.

The first reason I disagree with above statement is that the efficiency of education lies in its generalization. What is the untimate（单词写错咯，ultimate） aim of education ? It is not only to meet the individual needs and interest(s) of each student, but also to make humankind more civilized during  education process(这里用process感觉不大好). It enlightens and directs us to pursue what is really deserved to pursue. Without its direction, we may lose our way in the mordern society. For instance, if one is educated only according to his interests, he would probobally(probably) even not know what he really interests. This is the reason that generalization of education is much more fundamental and efficiency(efficient) than specification of education. (这里你只就specifical education的弊端举出了例子，最好说明general education会带来的好处)

Furthermore, over-specified education will narrow down（这个词句的不大好，可以用weaken） students' ken and capability of acclimation to future career. With the devolopment of mordern society, the interaction beween one career and another is becoming more and more tight. Whatever you are going to be a lawyer, a teacher,a doctor or even a police,（这句话好像不大通） the more kownledge you aquired, the more ability of acclimation to the future career you have.  Therefore, it is essential for every student （to）have a basic generallization of education to aquired the capability of acclimation to future career.

However, it should be admitted that in order to cater individual needs and to enhance interests of students, schools can offer some specifically designed programs to students. Based on the generallization(generalization) of education, some of specifically designes programs may inspire the interests of students and make them more active and creative.

From what has been discussed above, we may draw the conclusion that generalization of education is undoubtedly be more effieciency(efficient) than that of specifically designed, which is also in need in a sence

第一次能写出这样的文章已经很不错了，比起我的好多了，加油哦！！！

[ Last edited by neso124 on 2005-11-22 at 14:07 ]

qiuzirumengUID: 199691

There is a growing concern over the issue of effectiveness of education that designed specifically or generally. It is true that education will not be effective without it designing specifically to meet the individual needs and interests of each student. However, in my opinion, it is not so fundamentally as generalization of education

The first reason I disagree with above statement is that the efficiency of education lies in its generalization. What is the ultimate aim of education ? It is not only to meet the individual needs and interest of each student, but also to make humankind more civilized during  educational process. It enlightens and directs us to pursue what  really deserved to pursue（这个是不是可以讲得更明确一些）. Without its direction, we may lose our way in the modern society. For instance, if one is educated only according to his interests, he would probably even not know what he really interests. This is the reason that generalization of education is much more fundamental and efficient than specification of education.


Furthermore, over-specified education will narrow down students' ken and capability of acclimation to future career. With the development of modern society, the interaction between one career and another is becoming more and tighter. Whatever you are going to be, the more knowledge you acquire, the more ability of acclimation to the future career you have.  Therefore, it is essential for every student to have a basic generalization of education to acquire the capability of acclimation to future career.


However, it should be admitted that in order to cater individual needs and to enhance interests of students, schools can offer some specifically designed programs to students. Based on the generalization of education, some of specifically designed  Programs may inspire the interests of students and make them more active and creative.
这一段的论证需要再充分些，继续展开

From what has been discussed above, we may draw the conclusion that generalization of education is undoubtedly be more efficiency than that of specifically designed, which is also in need in a sense
谢谢I want my life 和neso124得耐心修改：），指出的几个错误都改出来了，但是论证的展开感觉还不知道些什莫，不知应该怎末提高这方面的水平

[ Last edited by qiuzirumeng on 2005-11-23 at 00:26 ]