再发一篇昨天写的作文,希望各位帮忙改正,多多指教:)

独孤文UID: 2140686

T158
When famous people such as actors, athletes and rock stars give their opinions, many people listen. Do you think we should pay attention to these opinions? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Nowadays ,famous people are becoming the focus of many people in our society, people are concerned with what they did, what they said and even about the details of their personal affair, and regard the famous people as their idols, follow the behaviors of them, even  pay much attention to what they said. It’s now being hotly debated whether it is sensible to pay attention to their opinion. Some opponents argue that because of some scandals of these people and for their   lacking of enough education their outlooks are not so good to follow. On the other hand, advocates emphasize the approachs of them to success and their spirits much surpassing other common people is good models for others study. According to my personality, I was a advocator of the latter view. Several reasons are to specified in the following paragraphs.

The main reason to back it up it that almost all the famous people went a long way to get success, for which they paid masses of effort and they accumulate much experiences, and that is the wealth for others to follow .For instance, a soccer player in Brazil start his first training as early as even they were only four of five years old and form that time on he had to spend no less than five hours a day to practice, many of them are in the class in the society who was very poor sometimes even have to endure starvation, but they never up easily ,by successive practices they ultimately got a position in the premier league in European country, live a good life as last, and receive much fame. The King of soccer Pely is one of them, recently Ronaldo and Adriano are representatives of the former poor children but now hottest stars in the soccer field. Also, through such a hard effort these people are of high moral, like Adriano ,he is a obedient child to his parents,and he is a loyal Christian.

Another reason to support my opinion in that famous people usually are of high teamwork spirit.
Like a rock star, almost all of them are in a band to perform as well as a basketball player in a team to contest, they are capable in play a important role in a group, but not just a individual hero. In modern society ,nobody could resolve a sophisticated work just by himself, teamwork is essential to everyone nowadays. Therefore ,they are important models to learn how to corporate with others in a group.

Nevertheless, opponents argue that as for the insufficient education received by famous people, scandals of them comes one after another. Moral problems come to be emphasized by them. Admittedly some scandals existed in some of them, but it’s no denying that only a part of them , maybe just a little part, were involved in those cases, obviously it’s far unfair to negate all of the whole.

All in all. famous people success from their much more effort than others and their spirit of  “Never give up” as well as teamwork abilities ,most of  which are good models all over the world are beneficial to follow by people.

kenan123UID: 2158282

L2  affair—affairs
L3  ,and regard the famous people as their idols-- . famous people is regarded as their idols
L3  follow the behaviors of them, even  pay much attention to what they said.—重复多余
L4  being—多余
L4  opinion—opinions
L4  On one hand,some opponents
L6  approachs—approaches
L7  is good models for others study—is a positive model for young people to learn from
L8  According to my personality有这么说的吗?我不知道.改成In my opinion得了,不用拽
L8  advocator—advocate
L10  back it up it-- back it up is
L10  wen--go
L11  they accumulate much experiences--  accumulate much experience
L11  the wealth—a wealth
L12  start—started
L12  a soccer player-- soccer players
L12  even they were only four of five years old and-- even they were only four or five years old
L12  form that time on—since then
L13  many of them are in the class in the society who was very poor sometimes even have to endure starvation---- many of them were in the class or in the society who were very poor ,even sometimes have to endure starvation
L15  but they never up easily--- but they never gave up easily
L16  live a good life as last, and receive much fame--- lived a good life at last, and received much fame
L18  hottest stars---the hottest stars
L20  in—is
L21  a basketball player-- basketball players
L22  capable in play a important role in a group,-- capable in playing important roles in a group,
a individual hero--  individual heroes
l26  comes—come about
还有一些中式英语没有改.
以上是我的个人意见,仅贡参考./
如有错误,请多多包涵;如有雷同,纯属巧合!

独孤文UID: 2140686

谢谢:)