Issue116 敬请各位赐教，请留下链接，方便回拍

Archer1123UID: 206148

issue
116 "With the growth of global networks in such areas as economics and communication, there is no doubt that every aspect of society—including education, politics, the arts, and the sciences—will benefit greatly from international influences."
基本同意
首段提出观点：社会的各个领域都会受到全球互联网的影响，但是有利有弊，要analyze case by case
1. 教育和科技方面，全球化促进其发展，弊端较小
2. 在政治方面，全球化对其利弊都有，
3. 在艺术方面，全球化具有一定的同化作用，消除多元化，不利于其发展，弊大于利

With the development of science and technology, the global networks grows rapidly and influences every aspect of society, such as economics, communication, education, science, politics and arts. Among these realms, based on their different characters, the global networks plays different roles, benefits or harm to them to different extent. For instance, most international companies gain many profits from the global networks, at the same time; we should never forget the tremendous loss of the Asian Finance Storm. Generally speaking, when we concerned with the affect of global networks, it should be analyzed case by case and take into account both the positive and negative effects.

With regard to education and science, the boom of the global networks promotes them greatly because it weakens or even eliminates the influence caused by the long distance, which accelerates the speed of communication and the exchange of resource. People can get information what they need by Internet without walking one step, just staying in their homes or labs. Education comes into a new stage with the emergence of the long-distance education system. Students can listen a lecture and get assistance from a professor who is in the other side of earth. And they can download the study data and information what they interests from Internet and plan their study schedule freely. It is similar to the development of science. The scientists can search the data or information quickly, which shorts the time of collecting material and speeds the procedure of research. On the other side, scholars and experts can share their research fruits, and discuss or consult their problems with others in the whole world. Both of two sides will help the prosperity of science and technology. Admittedly, there are still a few disadvantages -- the violent and nasty information spreads through the Internet and harms to the growth of children. Taking one with another, the advantage is much than the disadvantage of the global networks in the education and science fields.

It is hard to say which is more obvious, however, the merit or demerit of the global networks in the politics realm. When the earth becomes a village, it is impossible for any country to independent absolutely, and all countries are interdependent more or less. But not all countries are in the same level, some have developed maturely and the others are still in the developing stages. So, the problem arises: in order to grain more profit or protect their own benefits, some developed countries adopt the unfair policy to the developing countries, while these developing countries have no right to object for some political or economical reasons. Of course, the global network helps the stability of countries, especially when some countries union and constitute an organization. The unification of Europe is a good example.

Though the global networks expand the range of the art, and more and more people can appreciate the various styles and kinds artworks which are passed down from different periods and places. Unfortunately, it does harm to development of the art simultaneously. The art is the fruit of culture and thoughts, so the more multi-culture there is, the much flourishing art is. With the popular of global networks in the whole world, more and more foreign culture impacts the native culture. During the conflicting process, some traditional culture disappears, and people’s thoughts are assimilated. The art is losing its fascination step by step without the special native character. How to suppose a Chinese people full of American culture can creative an artwork with Chinese character? It is hard to imagine what is the fate of art under the globalization in a long term.   

To sum up, the global networks influences every area of society greatly. Just like every coin has two sides, the development of global networks is a double-edged sword. What we should do is to keep balance between merits and demerits, in another word, we should try to make full use of it advantage and avoid the disadvantage.

sallyxinduUID: 2131253

issue
116 "With the growth of global networks in such areas as economics and communication, there is no doubt that every aspect of society—including education, politics, the arts, and the sciences—will benefit greatly from international influences."
基本同意
首段提出观点：社会的各个领域都会受到全球互联网的影响，但是有利有弊，要analyze case by case
1. 教育和科技方面，全球化促进其发展，弊端较小
2. 在政治方面，全球化对其利弊都有，
3. 在艺术方面，全球化具有一定的同化作用，消除多元化，不利于其发展，弊大于利
your outline is sysmatic and logical

With the development of science and technology, the global networks grows rapidly and influences 太绝对，加个almost吧every aspect of the society, such as economics, communication, education, science, politics and arts. Among these realms, based on their different characters, the global networks plays different roles, benefits or harm to them to different extent. For instance, most international companies gain many profits最好提级下哪方面的profits，怎么得到的．要不然这个句子没有什么实质性的意义。 from the global networks, at the same time; we should never forget the tremendous loss of the Asian Finance Storm加个caused by glolalization in economy就更有针对性的．这里提出这个例子很好，有突然的冲击力，赞！. Generally speaking, when we are concerned with pay attention to the usage, be concerned with sth/concern sth.the affect of global networks, it should be analyzed case by case and take into account both the positive and negative effects.
不错的一个首段，为后面垫定了基础．

With regard to education and science, the boom of the global networks promotes them greatly because it weakens or even eliminates the influence caused by加个some obstacls like the long distance, 不加前面那个的话容易让人觉得通信的全球化只消除了长距离带来的不良影响。这样就大大缩小了影响的范围，让ＥＴＳ觉得你的思考不全面，有时候只是粗心的问题，但这些小细节我们还是要注意的．which（这个which指代的是golbal networks or long distance??） accelerates the speed of communication and the exchange of resource. People can get information what they need by Internet without walking one step, 语法有问题，再检查just staying in their homes or labs. Education comes into a new stage with the emergence of the long-distance education system. Students can listen a lecture and get assistance from a professor who is in the other side of earth. And they can download the study data and information what they interests from Internet and plan their study schedule freely. It is similar to the development of science. The scientists can search the data or information quickly, which shorts the time of collecting material and speeds the procedure of research. On the other side, scholars and experts can share their research fruits, and discuss or consult their problems with others in the whole world. Both of two sides will help the prosperity of science and technology. Admittedly, there are still a few disadvantages -- the violent and nasty information spreads through the Internet and harms to the growth of children. Taking one with another, the advantage is much than the disadvantage of the global networks in the education and science fields.

It is hard to say which is more obvious, however, the merit or demerit of the global networks in the politics realm. When the earth becomes a village, it is impossible for any country to independent absolutely, and all countries are interdependent more or less. But not all countries are in the same level, some have developed maturely and the others are still in the developing stages. So, the problem arises: in order to grain more profit or protect their own benefits, some developed countries adopt the unfair policy to the developing countries, while these developing countries have no right to object for some political or economical reasons. Of course, the global network helps the stability of countries, especially when some countries union and constitute an organization. The unification of Europe is a good example.

Though the global networks expand the range of the art, and more and more people can appreciate the various styles and kinds artworks which are passed down from different periods and places. Unfortunately, it does harm to development of the art simultaneously. The art is the fruit of culture and thoughts, so the more multi-culture there is, the much flourishing art is. With the popular of global networks in the whole world, more and more foreign culture impacts the native culture. During the conflicting process, some traditional culture disappears, and people’s thoughts are assimilated. The art is losing its fascination step by step without the special native character. How to suppose a Chinese people full of American culture can creative an artwork with Chinese character? It is hard to imagine what is the fate of art under the globalization in a long term.   

To sum up, the global networks influences every area of society greatly. Just like every coin has two sides, the development of global networks is a double-edged sword. What we should do is to keep balance between merits and demerits, in another word, we should try to make full use of it advantage and avoid the disadvantage.

Archer对不起，我有点急事马上要出去，可能今天不能按时给你修改完了，明天一定补起

gtrandUID: 2156108

With the development of science and technology, the global networks grows rapidly and influences every aspect of society, such as economics, communication, education, science, politics and arts. Among these realms, based on their different characters, the global networks plays different roles, benefits or harm to them to different extent. (bringing benefits to some while causing harm to others. )For instance, 首段最好不要用过于具体的词most international companies gain many profits from the global networks, at the same time; we should never forget the tremendous loss of the Asian Finance Storm. 也许可以移到后面的段落里Generally speaking, when we concerned with the affect of global networks, it (The affect of a growing global network should be analyzed case by case with both its positive and negative effects considered.)and take into account both the positive and negative effects.
With regard to education and science, the boom of the global networks promotes them greatly because it weakens or even (in some cases)eliminates the influence (gap)caused by the long distance, which accelerates (by accelerating。用which就会产生歧义，好象是long distance反而起到了这个作用。)the speed of communication and the exchange of resource. People can get information what they need (they need 或者 that they need. 　what they need本身是一个完整的宾语，不能修饰information. For example, have you got all the information (that) you need? or, have you got all what you want?)by Internet without walking one step, just staying in their homes or labs. Education comes into a new stage with the emergence of the long-distance education system. Students can listen (to)a lecture and get assistance from a professor who is in (may be on) the other side of (the)earth. And they can download the study data and information what they interests  (they are most interested in) from Internet and plan their study schedule freely. It is similar to the development of science. The scientists (Scientists) can search the data or information quickly, which shorts the time of collecting material and speeds the procedure of research. On the other side,(不要) scholars and experts can share their research fruits, and discuss or consult their problems with others in the whole world. Both of two sides will help the prosperity of science and technology. (这里提到地球两边并无特别的逻辑联系，因此也看不出有分成两边的必要。)Admittedly, there are still a few disadvantages -- the violent and nasty information spreadsthrough the Internet and (causes) harms (harm) to the growth of children. Taking one with another(Still), the advantage is much than the disadvantage of the global networks(the advantages brought by the global networks outweigh the disadvantages) in the education and science fields.

It is hard to say which (effect of the global networks, the merit or demerit,) is more obvious, however, the merit or demerit of the global networks in the politics realm. When the earth becomes (more and more like)a village, it is impossible for any country to (be) independent absolutely, and all countries are interdependent more or less. But not all countries are in the same level, some have developed maturely and the others are (well developed while others注意用从句)still in the developing stages. So, the problem arises: in order to grain more profit or protect their own benefits, some developed countries adopt the unfair policy (policies that are unfair)to the developing countries, while these developing countries have no right to object (can hardly boycott these policies)for some political or economical reasons. Of course, the global network helps the stability of countries, especially when some countries union and constitute an organization. The unification of Europe is a good example(这个例子需要展开，以免让读者摸不着头脑).

Though(While) the global networks expand the range of the art, and(enabling) more and more people can(to) appreciate the various styles and kinds (of)artworks which are passed down from different periods and places. Unfortunately, it does harm to development of the art simultaneously. (they can also hinder the health development of art. Though引导的是从句，后面需要主干)The art is the fruit of culture and thoughts, so the more multi-culture there is, the much flourishing art is the more flourishing art would be). With the popular of global networks in the whole world, more and more foreign culture impacts the native culture.(As the global networks keep sprawling around the world, many cultures are subject to foreign influences, with some traditional cultures disappearing.) During the conflicting process, some traditional culture disappears, and people’s thoughts are assimilated. The art is losing its fascination step by step without the special native character. How to suppose (Imagine, for example, if American culture is permeating into every corner of the lives of Chinese people, then how will they still be able to keep their Chinese characteristics in their art works?), then how Chinese people full of American culture can creative an artwork with Chinese character? It is hard to imagine what is the fate of art what the fate of art would beunder the globalization in a long term.   

To sum up, the global networks influences every area of society greatly. Just like every coin has two sides, the development of global networks is a double-edged sword. What we should do is to keep balance between theirmerits and demerits, in another word, ; in other words, we should try to make full use of it advantage and avoid the disadvantage.the advantages they bring and minimize their disadvantages.

     很不错，把握了问题的复杂性，前面两段尤为出色。第三段和第四段也许可以再展开一下，达到第二段的深度就好了。

[ Last edited by gtrand on 2005-12-13 at 22:48 ]

sallyxinduUID: 2131253

楼上的改得很好了