argument140 GOGOGO

加一UID: 2168628

140.The following appeared in a report of the Committee on Faculty Promotions and Salaries at Elm City University.

"During her seventeen years as a professor of botany, Professor Thomas has proved herself to be well worth her annual salary of $50,000. Her classes are among the largest at the university, demonstrating her popularity among students. Moreover, the money she has brought to the university in research grants has exceeded her salary in each of the last two years. Therefore, in consideration of Professor Thomas' demonstrated teaching and research abilities, we recommend that she receive a $10,000 raise and a promotion to Department Chairperson; without such a raise and promotion, we fear that Professor Thomas will leave Elm City University for another college."

在Thomas教授作为植物学教授的17年里，她证明了自己确实是值50000元年薪的。她的班级是本校最大的班级之一，这说明她在学生中间的受欢迎度。而且，她给学校带来的研究捐助在过去两年中都超过了她的年薪。因此，鉴于Thomas教授已被证实的教学和研究能力，我们建议将她的年薪增加10000元，并提升为系主任；如果没有这些加薪和提升，我们担心Thomas教授将会离开Elm City大学到别的学校就职。

OUTLINE:
1.她在比较受学生欢迎并不一定是因为教学能力，有可能是由于植物学本身就是个热门专业，更有可能是因为选她的课好过。
2.大量的研究捐助只能代表她的筹款能力，而不是研究能力。文中没有提到Thomas教授的科研水平,也没有提到别的教授的情况。
3.提升为系主任固然代表着荣誉，但同时意味着繁重的行政工作将占用教授大量的时间，文中没有提到Thomas教授是否对行政工作有兴趣。



    The author considers that Elm City University should promote Professor Thomas as Chairperson of Department and raise her annual salary about $10,000 because of the popularity among students and the huge research outlay as she brought last two years. Otherwise, Professor Thomas may leave Elm City University for another college. The claim seems to be reasonable at the first glance, but with further analysis, it appears to suffer from several logical fallacies as follows.

    First of all, although the class which she teaches is the one of largest one at the university, we can not conclude that her teaching ability is outstanding. Along with the development of the society, the government continually concentrates on the protection of environment especially the protection of plants. Because of the attention, the major of botany attracts many youth recently. In that situation, the class which teaches botany and related course will attend a lot of students. At the same time, we do not hear any appraise about the quality of the class from her students. It is possible that the reason why the class of Professor Thomas is very large is just because almost all the students could pass it. So it can not prove that her ability of teaching is perfect.

    Moreover, the author argues that Professor Thomas is excellent in research only because she brought the money which is more than her annual salary to the university in the last two years. The statement should be questioned in two parts. For one thing, we do not obtain any information about other professors; maybe they bring much more money than Professor Thomas'. Without comparison, any conclusion is arbitrary. For another thing, even if Professor Thomas is the champion about fundraising, it just means that she has talent on bring money. The argument is not mentioned anything about the result of research by Professor Thomas such as the influence of the paper, which is more significant for the ability of research.

    In addition, promoting to Department Chairperson is an honor for a professor. But the problem is that the chairperson of a department should pay a lot of attentions on management and administration. We do not know that Professor Thomas would like to share her time with the position. In my opinion, it is not a good new for her, if she just wants to concentrate on teaching and research.

    In a sum, the arguer does not consider these and other more possibilities that may influence the judgement of Professor Thomas, we can safely drew the conclusion that the Committee on Faculty Promotions and Salaries at Elm City University should think over more aspects to make the final decision.

pioneercpuUID: 2139317

140.The following appeared in a report of the Committee on Faculty Promotions and Salaries at Elm City University.

"During her seventeen years as a professor of botany, Professor Thomas has proved herself to be well worth her annual salary of $50,000. Her classes are among the largest at the university, demonstrating her popularity among students. Moreover, the money she has brought to the university in research grants has exceeded her salary in each of the last two years. Therefore, in consideration of Professor Thomas' demonstrated teaching and research abilities, we recommend that she receive a $10,000 raise and a promotion to Department Chairperson; without such a raise and promotion, we fear that Professor Thomas will leave Elm City University for another college."

在Thomas教授作为植物学教授的17年里，她证明了自己确实是值50000元年薪的。她的班级是本校最大的班级之一，这说明她在学生中间的受欢迎度。而且，她给学校带来的研究捐助在过去两年中都超过了她的年薪。因此，鉴于Thomas教授已被证实的教学和研究能力，我们建议将她的年薪增加10000元，并提升为系主任；如果没有这些加薪和提升，我们担心Thomas教授将会离开Elm City大学到别的学校就职。

OUTLINE:
1.她在比较受学生欢迎并不一定是因为教学能力，有可能是由于植物学本身就是个热门专业，更有可能是因为选她的课好过。
2.大量的研究捐助只能代表她的筹款能力，而不是研究能力。文中没有提到Thomas教授的科研水平,也没有提到别的教授的情况。
3.提升为系主任固然代表着荣誉，但同时意味着繁重的行政工作将占用教授大量的时间，文中没有提到Thomas教授是否对行政工作有兴趣。



    The author considers that Elm City University should promote Professor Thomas as Chairperson of Department and raise her annual salary about $10,000 because of the popularity among students and the huge research outlay(这个词不错额) as she brought (这个词不好,容易让人误会是她带了大量的钱过来了呢) last two years. Otherwise, Professor Thomas may leave Elm City University for another college. The claim seems to be reasonable at the first glance, but with further analysis, it appears to suffer from several logical fallacies as follows.
简单提出结论,指出支持的论据,如题简洁,不错!!

    First of all, although the class which(删了吧) she teaches is the one of largest one at the university, we can not conclude that her teaching ability is outstanding. (最好和下面有个链接的过渡,有点突兀,而且下面最好用可能的语气来说,我认为这样会好一点啦)Along with the development of the society, the government continually concentrates on the protection of environment especially the protection of plants. Because of the attention, the major of botany attracts many youth recently. In that situation, the class which teaches botany(改为The botany class行不行啊?) and related course will attend(这个动词不好,可以换个主语说很多学生在这中情况下会选择这门课程) a lot of students. At the same time, we do not hear any appraise about the quality of the class from her students. It is possible that the reason why the class of Professor Thomas is very large is just because almost all the students could pass it. So it can not prove that her ability of teaching is perfect.

    Moreover, the author argues that Professor Thomas is excellent in research only because she brought the money which is more than her annual salary to the university in the last two years. The statement should be questioned in two parts. For one thing, we do not obtain(are not provided with) any information about other professors; maybe they bring much more money than Professor Thomas'. Without comparison, any conclusion is arbitrary.(这个我到没有想到呢 学习ing) For another thing, even if Professor Thomas is the champion about(of ?) fundraising, it just means that she has talent on bring(ing) money. The argument is not mentioned anything about the result of research by Professor Thomas such as the influence of the paper, which is more significant for the ability of research.

    In addition, promoting to Department Chairperson is an honor for a professor. But the problem is that the chairperson of a department should pay a lot of attentions on management and administration. We do not know that Professor Thomas would like to share her time with the position(这句话词不达意,有点chin-english了). In my opinion, it is not a good new for her, if she just wants to concentrate on teaching and research.

    In a sum, the arguer does not consider these and other more possibilities that may influence the judgement of Professor Thomas, we can safely drew the conclusion that the Committee on Faculty Promotions and Salaries at Elm City University should think over more aspects to make the final decision.
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首先赞一个,看得出是自己一点一点写的, 模板很少用,下了很大功夫呢

鼓励一下.

逻辑错误找的很到位,
叙述没有什么大的毛病,
就是最后一个逻辑错误----作科研不一定适合做管理,论证的不太好的, 句子有些生硬了,其它两个错误攻击的都不错!

结尾段看的不是太明白,好像没有总结到位啊

好好努力啊  加油!!

pioneercpuUID: 2139317

azaleaUID: 196122

The author considers that Elm City University should promote Professor Thomas as Chairperson of Department and raise her annual salary about $10,000 because of the popularity among students and the huge research outlay[我特意查了一下哦outlay=spending就是开支 好像和研究经费意思有出入的 用在这里感觉她多花钱一样。。] as she brought last two years. Otherwise, Professor Thomas may leave Elm City University for another college. The claim seems to be reasonable at the first glance, but with further analysis, it appears to suffer from several logical[这个修饰没必要的fallacy就是指逻辑错误false reasoning] fallacies as follows.

    First of all, although the class which she teaches is the one of largest one[去掉one] at the university, we can not conclude that her teaching ability is outstanding. Along with the development of the society[晕 吓了一跳 还以为乱码呢:P 就事论事比较好 别扯太远了], the government continually concentrates on the protection of environment especially the protection of plants. Because of the attention, the major of botany attracts many youth recently.[我觉得这个只是可能原因吧 因为现在植物已经不算很热的学科 即使在中国很热 你如何知道美国的情况 那个大学所在地的情况？xixi我也写argu了] In that situation, the class which teaches botany[the botany course就好了吧] and related course will attend[晕 attend主语是学生不是courses!这里改成attract吧] a lot of students. At the same time, we do not hear any appraise[evaluation/assessment] about the quality of the class from her students. It is possible that the reason why the class of Professor Thomas is very large is just because almost all the students could pass it[应该从Prof角度说 说她给分好]. So it[指代不明] can not prove that her ability of teaching is perfect.

    Moreover, the author argues that Professor Thomas is excellent in research only because she brought the money which is more than her annual salary to the university in the last two years. [这句总结得很好！赞！]The statement should be questioned in two parts[aspects准确些]. For one thing, we do not obtain any information about other professors; maybe they bring much more money than Professor Thomas'[不要加']. Without comparison, any conclusion is arbitrary[恩 这点我没想到]. For another thing, even if Professor Thomas is the champion about fundraising, it just means that she has talent on bring[-ing] money. The argument is not mentioned[does not mention主动语态哦] anything about the result of research by Professor Thomas such as the influence of the paper, which is more significant for the ability of research.[恩恩 说得很清楚 赞！]

    In addition, promoting to Department Chairperson is an honor for a professor. But the problem is that the chairperson of a department should pay a lot of attentions on management and administration. We do not know that Professor Thomas would like to share her time with the position. [这个share with用得不准确 share是和同等的东西share 就是说宾语应该是其他人 这里是position就不妥了]In my opinion, it is not a good new[-s] for her, if she just wants to concentrate on teaching and research.

    In a sum, the arguer does not consider these and other more[这里有点罗嗦啊 直接说other就好了] possibilities[factors比较准确] that may influence the judgement of Professor Thomas, [句号]we can safely drew[draw] the conclusion that the Committee on Faculty Promotions and Salaries at Elm City University should think over more aspects to make the final decision. [最后一句不错 简洁有力]

对了 还差一个主要错误 就是Prof Thomas要走的猜测没有根据 有时间的话最好写上 满明显的一个错误

[ Last edited by azalea on 2005-12-25 at 09:43 ]