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我的作文 Topic 98,请大家帮我看看啊 [复制链接]

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发表于 2006-5-10 13:19:00 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
Given the chance to decide one thing as a representative of my country to be sent to an international exhibition, I would choose to send a fine sculpture of the great panda, one of the most endangered animals in the world.

One reason is that the great panda can only be found in China. Its black and white, clumsy yet clever and friendly image reminds people of its very origin, China. Such a world recognized and deep rooted image is, if not compelling, well believed as a representation of China. If you happened to pick up a kid in the street and ask him about the great panda. His first reaction would most likely to be saying “China”! Needless to say, the rareness of the great panda has made it one of the most valuable heritages. It is taken great care of Chinese people and treated as a national treasure.

Another reason is that the way the great panda’s behave is a reflection of the role China plays in the ever developing world. The great panda, hidden in the deep forest in Si Chuan Province, lives a simple and peaceful life. It means no harm to other animals unless being attacked by them. This, in some way, reflects the attitudes we have towards the other counties in the world.

What’s more, sculpture of the great panda for an international exhibition does not only help the audience visualize and recognize the very nature of China and her people, but also draws their attention to the very endangered and valuable animal. It will attract more people to visit China, not only for the admiration of the great panda, but also to know more about China and her culture.

[286 words]

第一次贴作文上来,请大家多多指点
最好能评一下分数,让我心里有个底
谢谢!
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沙发
发表于 2006-5-10 20:58:50 |只看该作者
顶啊
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Sagittarius射手座 荣誉版主

板凳
发表于 2006-5-10 23:02:21 |只看该作者
4左右吧

一段的TS改成是国宝更好。
二段有点不是很真实的感觉。最好放在最后。
三段还不错。不过这段的TS和前面两个不配合。要改一下。就是说第三个原因是什么。
怎么都必须要有个结尾,如果有结尾.4.5也有可能。

写熊猫的比较多,参考一下吧。

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地板
发表于 2006-5-11 00:28:18 |只看该作者
谢谢expire7的评语,能不能再帮我看一下这篇,谢谢了!!
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D3
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RE: 我的作文 Topic 98,请大家帮我看看啊 [修改]

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我的作文 Topic 98,请大家帮我看看啊
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-460738-1-1.html
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