argument147 FLY AW小组第一次作业

zqznedUID: 2114587

147.The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.
"Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months."

In the argument, the arguer concludes that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months. To substantiate the conclusion, the arguer cites the outcome of a recent survey which shows that players prefer games like what Whirlwind has introduced. In addition, the arguer assumes the age-group between 10 to25 years old will like to play video games of Whirlwind. This argument is unconvincing for several critical flaws.

First of all, the arguer fails to analyze the reasons why the sales of Whirlwind video games declined over the past two years. The arguer considers that the decline may be caused for their products do not have some features video-game players like. But that may not be the real reason. As there are many companies and products in the same market, the lack of competence in price or others of Whirlwind video games might play an important role in the decline. Except that, management of Whirlwind could also be a origin of the decline as there may exist some flaws. In short, it can not be easily lead to the point that the features determine the sales.

In addition, a main assumption in the argument is that the sales are likely to increase through an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old. It is possible that the market is almost full in the age-group at one time and advertising seems useless. Besides that, other companies might also give massive advertising so that the advertising campaign might not become unusual to consumers. And people might prefer other counterpart products to Whirlwind video games. So, the advertising campaign directed to people 10 to 25 years old may turn out to be ineffective.

Finally, the arguer does not take into account other factors that might affect the survey and the sales of new games. The video games players asked in the survey might not age 10 to 25 years old, and they can not represents all people while they are only parts of whole video-game players. So, the survey may be not so correct. What is more, the sales of the newly introduced life-like video games could be influenced by many things, and it makes no use if the real reason can not be found.

In summary, the conclusion reached in the argument is invalid and misleading. To make the argument more convincing, the arguer would have to prove that the lack of features video-game players like is the main reason of the decline but not others. Moreover, the arguer should make sure that it is useful of an advertising campaign directed at 10 to 25 years old. Otherwise, I would suspend my questioning of the conclusion that the sales will increase in a few months.

exp03UID: 2158827

写得好早 沉了 顶起来 晚点再看 刚看了四篇 有点晕...

zqznedUID: 2114587

改了几篇，不过没看到一切皆空的，晚上再改吧

zqznedUID: 2114587

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D3 issue244
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D2 提纲
先把以前的链到这，都要没了
还要努力啊！

zqznedUID: 2114587

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1
issue53+argument97+180+205提纲

flycc28UID: 2164453

In the argument, the arguer concludes that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months. To substantiate the conclusion, the arguer cites the outcome of a recent survey which shows that players prefer games like what Whirlwind has introduced. In addition, the arguer assumes the age-group between 10 to25 years old will like to play video games of Whirlwind. This argument is unconvincing for several critical flaws.

First of all, the arguer fails to analyze the reasons why the sales of Whirlwind video games declined over the past two years. The arguer considers that the decline may be caused for their products do not have some features video-game players like. But that may not be the real reason. As there are many companies and products in the same market, the lack of competence in price or others of Whirlwind video games might play an important role in the decline. Except that, management of Whirlwind could also be a origin of the decline as there may exist some flaws. In short, it can not be easily lead to the point that the features determine the sales.

In addition, a main assumption in the argument is that the sales are likely to increase through an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old. It is possible that the market is almost full in the age-group at one time and advertising seems useless. Besides that, other companies might also give massive advertising so that the advertising campaign might not become unusual to consumers. And people might prefer other counterpart products to Whirlwind video games. So, the advertising campaign directed to people 10 to 25 years old may turn out to be ineffective.

Finally, the arguer does not take into account other factors that might affect the survey and the sales of new games. The video games players asked in the survey might not age 10 to 25 years old, and they can not represents【s】 all people while they are only parts of whole video-game players. So, the survey may be not so correct. What is more, the sales of the newly introduced life-like video games could be influenced by many things, and it makes no use if the real reason can not be found.【是不是举两个例子会更好】

In summary, the conclusion reached in the argument is invalid and misleading. To make the argument more convincing, the arguer would have to prove that the lack of features video-game players like is the main reason of the decline but not others. [感觉有点口语化，是不是换种表达方式会更好]Moreover, the arguer should make sure that it is useful of an advertising campaign directed at 10 to 25 years old. Otherwise, I would suspend my questioning of the conclusion that the sales will increase in a few months.

总体上感觉文章已经比较成熟了 个人对第三段比较喜欢
等我研究好了 水平上来了再狠狠批：）

exp03UID: 2158827

你还没交改过的作业

zqznedUID: 2114587

不好意思啊，正在打今天的提纲，一会把改过的传上来
谢谢flycc28 的批改！

[ 本帖最后由 zqzned 于 2006-5-19 12:46 编辑 ]

zqznedUID: 2114587

In the argument, the arguer concludes that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months. To substantiate the conclusion, the arguer cites the outcome of a recent survey which shows that players prefer games like what Whirlwind has introduced. In addition, the arguer assumes the age-group between 10 to 25 years old will like to play video games of Whirlwind. This argument is unconvincing for several critical flaws.

First of all, the arguer fails to analyze the reasons why the sales of Whirlwind video games declined over the past two years. The arguer considers that the decline may be caused for their products do not have some features video-game players like. But that may not be the real reason. As there are many companies and products in the same market, the lack of competence in price or others of Whirlwind video games might play an important role in the decline. Except that, management of Whirlwind could also be a origin of the decline as there may exist some flaws. In short, it can not be easily lead to the point that the features determine the sales.

In addition, a main assumption in the argument is that the sales are likely to increase through an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old. It is possible that the market is almost full in the age-group at one time and advertising seems useless. Besides that, other companies might also give massive advertising so that the advertising campaign might not become unusual to consumers. And people might prefer other counterpart products to Whirlwind video games. So, the advertising campaign directed to people 10 to 25 years old may turn out to be ineffective.

Finally, the arguer does not take into account other factors that might affect the survey and the sales of new games. The video games players asked in the survey might not age 10 to 25 years old, and they can not represent all people while they are only parts of whole video-game players. People who are younger are more likely to see the entertainment rather than the graph. So, the survey may be not so correct. What is more, the sales of the newly introduced life-like video games could be influenced by many things, such as the trend and price, and it makes no use if the real reason can not be found.

In summary, the conclusion reached in the argument is invalid and misleading. To make the argument more convincing, the arguer would have to prove that the lack of lifelike features is the main reason of the decline. Moreover, the arguer should make sure that it is useful of an advertising campaign directed at 10 to 25 years old. Otherwise, I would suspend my questioning of the conclusion that the sales will increase in a few months.
改过的作业。在第三段加了一句例子。至于后面的一句我觉得再展开就同前面有些重复了。
再次道歉！
从大家的文章里学到了很多！

exp03UID: 2158827

In the argument, the arguer concludes that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months. To substantiate the conclusion, the arguer cites the outcome of a recent survey which shows that players prefer games like what Whirlwind has introduced. In addition, the arguer assumes the age-group between 10 to 25 years old will like to play video games of Whirlwind. This argument is unconvincing for several critical flaws.

First of all, the arguer fails to analyze the reasons why the sales of Whirlwind video games declined over the past two years. The arguer considers that the decline may be caused for their products do not have some features video-game players like. But that may not be the real reason.哇,太绝对吧!觉得说是不完整的reason更好 As there are many companies and products in the same market, the lack of competence in price or others指代不明 of Whirlwind video games might play an important role in the decline. Except that, management of Whirlwind could also be an origin of the decline as there may exist some flaws. In short, it can not be easily lead to the point that the features determine the sales. 总结的还不错
In addition, a main assumption in the argument is that the sales are likely to increase through an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old. It is possible that the market is almost full in the age-group at one time and advertising seems useless. Besides that, other companies might also give massive advertising so that the advertising campaign might not become unusual to consumers. And people might prefer other counterpart products to Whirlwind video games. So, the advertising campaign directed to people 10 to 25 years old may turn out to be ineffective.


Finally, the arguer does not take into account other factors that might affect the survey and the sales of new games. The video games players asked in the survey might not age 10 to 25 years old, and they can not represent all people while they are only parts of whole video-game players. People who are younger are more likely to see the entertainment rather than the graph. So, the survey may be not so correct. What is more, the sales of the newly introduced life-like video games could be influenced by many things, such as the trend and price, and it makes no use if the real reason can not be found.
觉得这两段攻击得有点混,想说广告有可能失效,最好从广告所对应的人群是否对该类游戏感兴趣和他们感兴趣但是否有购买能力这两方面来作为主要逻辑问题攻击.想说sale可能不会提高才应该用还有公司竞争等方面来攻击.反过来的话论据对论点的支持不是很有效.In summary, the conclusion reached in the argument is invalid and misleading. To make the argument more convincing, 这两句重复了同一个意思,只用一个更简练the arguer would have to prove that the lack of lifelike features is the main reason of the decline. Moreover, the arguer should make sure that it is useful of an advertising campaign directed at 10 to 25 years old. Otherwise, I would suspend my questioning of the conclusion that the sales will increase in a few months.
480字
总体来说很好.就是字数有点多,能打完么?论证要是再简练有效一些会更好!

zqznedUID: 2114587

组长说得对啊，后面确实有点混，可能过分注重那部分了！