issue51 ugw战队6号的第一次作业

jakamUID: 2217362

issue51 ugw战队6号的第一次作业

我是6号

issue 51 "Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student"

    I am a novice, maybe I can't give my best response for some specific title. However, I never give up, I never give up my dreams to receive further education in US. this is the first GRE writing. Thank you for your edification for my paper.

   
As the statement committing, only when the education is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student, then the education will be truly effective. I can't thoroughly agree with response in some way, the following is my opinion.



    Firstly, education in one country is focusing on training a number of student for their future position. Maybe we can call education detailedly as a system composed of teachers. The group student are the training objects of education system. Obviously, sometimes only one teacher will serve several students even more. If we are trying to meet the individual needs and interests of each student, the number of teacher will be a big problem. Moreover, different students have different needs and interests in one group, only the teacher should organize sufficient education schemes for each student. how can we guarantee that each teacher are qualified for each student?



    Secondly, it is well known that education is trying to shape and change the student personality and characters. Many of the students are changeable. the teacher can influence and figure the needs and interests of some students. So the teacher can create some plans to be compliable to the majority of the students, not each. Truly, some of students cannot be shaped even taught, some of whom are idiots and some of whom are talents. what we can do is focusing on training the middle group of students. If we have sufficient sophisticated teachers and creative courses for each student, all can be solved no matter what kinds of the students are. the fact is on the opposite side, all is base of the if condition.



    To sum up, education is a way to improve the interpersonality of training students. the final destination of education is out of teaching and training, I personally think. the approach to reach the final destination of education is to create the common methods to better individual interests and needs of some students in order to discover the truth. It is impossible to meet the individual command of each student in the realistic world. And meeting the individual needs and interests of each student is not the only way for education. further more, education won't be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs of each student. Never forget education is open to all the student entitled to have the opportunity to receive education, and education is diversity which can be effective in many ways.

王可UID: 2190701

I am a novice, maybe I can't give my best response for some specific title. However, I never give up, I never give up my dreams to receive further education in US. this大写,建议写好了之后复制到WORD里看一下,这样一些拼写和简单的语法错误就可以直接看出来了,在正文之前有个小错误,我就提个小建议咯,呵呵 is the first GRE writing. Thank you for your edification for my paper.You are welcome^_^

   
As the statement committing, only when the education is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student, then这个连词放这里感觉怪怪的,是不是可以省了啊 the education will be truly effective. I can't thoroughly agree with response in some way, the following is my opinion.



    Firstly, education in one country is focusing on training a number of student s for their future positions?. Maybe we can call education detailedly as a system composed of teachers. The groups of students are the training objects of education system. Obviously, sometimes这里用’在大多数情况下’更好一点 onlyonly放在这里感觉不顺,或者能不能换一种强调唯一的表达方式,我暂时没想出来 one teacher will serve several students or even more. If we are trying to meet the individual needs and interests of each student, the number of teachers? will be a big problem. Moreover, different students have different needs and interests in one group, only the teacher should organize sufficient education schemes for each student. howH can we guarantee that each teacher are qualified for each student?



    Secondly, it is well known that education is trying to shape and change the students’ personality and characters. Many of the students are changeable. theT teachers can influence and figure the needs and interests of some students. So the teachers can create some plans to be compliable to the majority of the students, but not each. Truly, some of students cannot be shaped even when taught, some of whom are idiots and some of whom are talents. What we can do is focusing on training the middle group of students. If we have sufficient sophisticated teachers and creative courses for each student, all can be solved no matter what kinds of the students are. The fact is on the opposite side, all is base of the if condition.



    To sum up, education is a way to improve the interpersonality没找到这个词 of training students. The final destination of education is out of teaching and training, I personally thinkIn my personal opinion应该正式一点. The approach to reach the final destination of education is to create the common methods to better individual interests and needs of some students in order to discover the truth. It is impossible to meet the individual command of each student in the realistic world. And meeting the individual needs and interests of each student is not the only way for education. Further more, education won't be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs of each student. Never forget education is open to all the students entitled to have the opportunity to receive education, and education is diversity which can be effective in many ways.
主要修改的都是语法错误,因为我在用词上能力比较差.现在还改不出什么.关于这篇文章我觉得内容上应该可以再丰富一点,尤其是结尾提到了in many ways,前面应该可以论述一下other ways.而且对于ISSUE来说,象51这样的题目还是不要全面否定吧,开头中你不是也说不能完全同意么,论述时是不是可以加入一些肯定这个观点的说法,这样显得文章也厚实些.
最后再提个建议,下次把中文的提纲写在前面吧,这样看你的立意时比较清楚,呵呵,我是个菜鸟,有的地方说错了的话别介意啊,提出来大家一起讨论咯^_^

xupeng66UID: 2193287

As the statement committing, only when the education is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student, then the education will be truly effective. I can't thoroughly agree with response in some way, the following is my opinion.(感觉开头写得过于死板, 其实可以不标明自己是同意还是不同意, 而是直接指出自己不同意的原因也就是文章的主旨句,据说gre作文批改时间很短的，开头表明主旨可以给老师一个明确的概念。）



    Firstly, education in one country is focusing (aiming to train) a number of student for their future position. Maybe we can call education detailedly as a system composed of teachers. The group student are the training objects of education system. Obviously, sometimes only(这里only可去掉) one teacher will serve several students or even more (at the same time). If we are trying to meet the individual needs and interests of each student, (whether there will be enough teacher for this task) will be a big problem. Moreover, different students have different needs and interests in one group, only the teacher should organize sufficient education schemes for each student. how can we guarantee that each teacher are qualified for each student?
这里的最后一句意思不是很明确，如果要表达老师制定一个符合所有学生兴趣的教学计划是很困难的话，可以这样说：given that different students have different interests and needs, in most cases, it will be absolutely difficult for one or several teachers to design a sufficient teaching schedule to meet everyone's interests and needs.


    Secondly, it is well known that education is trying to shape and change（此处焕庸cultivate比较好） the student personality and characters. Many （of the）可去掉 students are changeable. the teacher can influence and figure the needs and interests of some students. So the teacher can create some plans to （comply with)  the majority of the students, not each. Truly, some of students cannot be shaped even taught, some of whom(them) are idiots and some of whom (them)are talent. what we can do is focusing on training the middle group(majority) of students. If we have sufficient sophisticated teachers and creative courses for each student, all can be solved no matter what kinds of the students are. the fact is on the opposite side, all is base(d) (on) the if(supposed) condition.



    To sum up, education is a way to improve the inte(inner)rpersonality of training students. the final destination of education is out of teaching and training, I personally think. the approach to reach the final destination of education is to create the common methods to better individual interests and needs of some students in order to discover the truth. It is impossible to meet the individual demand of each student in the realistic world. And meeting the individual needs and interests of each student is not the only way for education. further more, education won't be truly effective only(unless)  it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs of each student. Never forget education is open to all the student entitled to have the opportunity to receive education, and education is diverse which can be effective.
不好意思啊，我这几天忙学校考试，昨晚没时间改，不过我觉得你的提纲还可以，但语言还需要修炼，多背背范文会比较有帮助。另外我的火狐浏览器有些问题，午饭更改字体的颜色多见谅啊

jakamUID: 2217362

issue36 " the greatness of individuals can be decided only by those who live after them, not by their contemporaries"

我很郁闷, 这样的题目我没有话要说, 没有题材, 看了别人的优秀论文发现是跑题了, 竟然是优秀论文. 我的提纲帮看看是不是跑题.

1. 评价一个人的greatness有很多方面, 说过的话, 做的事情, 流传多少年都不衰
2. 当代人的评价受到很多的制约因素, 不能完全反映客观事实,
3.以后的人的评价不受任何限制, 相对客观一些.
4.个人的greatness也是在不同的时代发生变化的.

queeniezUID: 2203712

我这篇写的也狠烂，说实话。
你的提纲更我的出入很大，不过issue提纲没有什么准则，关键要有话说就行了。

queeniezUID: 2203712

楼主加油！相信你一定会成功的！

fenghua9801UID: 2191885

想过来改你的作文的， 结果发现是第一次的

哎，我也觉得没有题材可以写啊，这篇文章至少要熟悉些名人，我最后没有办法硬着头皮写了，居然只有300多点字，感觉道理也说不清，郁闷。

回去背背例子去～！加油～！

jakamUID: 2217362

issue48 "The study of history places too much emphasis on individuals. The most significant events and trends in history were made possible not by the famous few, but by groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten.

    1.表明自己的观点,综合来看
    2.原因一:英雄人物在历史的作用, 加速或缓解历史的进程, 为什么人们只重视英雄人物
    3.原因二:当今的社会在改变, 一个任务或者使命的成功靠的集体的力量, 尽管个人在团对中的作用不一样.
    4.总结,两者兼顾来看的.

    According to the speaker, the study of history mainly emphasize the individuals not the group, and the crucial events and trends in history were made possible not by the famous few but by the groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten. Obviously, the famous few can long live in our mind for their excellent performance. So I can only partly agree with the above statement. The following is my opinion.

    Firstly, we can not ignore the significance of the famous people, and the fact is all the present scholars devote their majority of their time to the study of history about the famous individuals. A large number of heros are still remembered by the present people although the they passed away once upone a time. Why the famous few can be in a vital place? As known to all, the hero in the history created and even changed the history civilization. Some of them accelerate the process of history, and some of them slow down the development of history. For example, the famous Churchill place greatness in the World War III. Without the Churchill standed out to fight against the German military, all the world was ruled by the Nazi and the Hitler. If so, maybe all the human race will never be diversity but the Nordic alone. How terrible it is. But the history will not replay when the Churchill was not even brought into the world. How can we forget Churchill? Certainly, if Churchill had no military and no assistant, maybe the horrible history will occur. However, the supposed condition will never exists in the history process. The reason why the famous few is emphasized is derived from the key position on individuals.

    Secondly, the history is changing with the development of the times. We will not forget Watt invented the light to accelerate the history processing. And he is also among the history hero who will never be forgotten. As the development of human civilization, the present person already realize that individual greatness can not work obviously in a tough and rough task sometimes. what they need is team spirits. So it is not difficult for us to assume that maybe some of crucial events and trends were fabricated by the succeeding generation in the history. So when such a topic is talk about at present, we can only reach such a conclusion that the famous few place higher significance in the history compared with involved group of people. Furthermore, the present scholar should reconsider how to study the history and how to pass on the history for our future generation in a right way.

    To sum up, the present scholar should not only highlight the significance of hero but also the involved and relavent group of people. We should remember the famous heros in the history, and we should not forget the group of people even creat the fatal events and trends in the history. In conclusion, all the people in the history creating the history and famous trend should be remembered despite they are famous or known to the public. So the present scholar should also emphasize the study of the nobody in the future to fill the blank of history.

georgiayzhUID: 2225237

no.10 改的作业:
    According to the speaker, the study of history mainly emphasize the individuals not the group, and the crucial events and trends in history were made possible not by the famous few but by the groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten. Obviously, the famous few can long live in our mind for their excellent performance. So I can only partly agree with the above statement[个人觉得一般用assertion 或者claim比较好，因为用statement 的话should have presumption,这是逻辑上的一点小trick .]. The following is my opinion.
   

    Firstly, we can not ignore the significance of the famous people, and the fact is [that] all the present scholars devote their majority of their time[两个their并用读起来不爽] to the study of history about the famous individuals. A large number of heros [hero] are still remembered by the present people although the[去掉] they passed away once upone [upon] a time. Why the famous few can be in a vital place? As known to all, the hero in the history created and even changed the history civilization. Some of them accelerate(d) the process of history, and some of them slow(ed)[and 前后时态一致] down the development of history. [这里应该用个长句来表达，短句感觉有点informal]For example, the famous Churchill place greatness in the World War III. Without the Churchill standed [standing] out to [lead a] fight against the German military, all the world was[would be] ruled by the Nazi and the Hitler. If so, maybe all the [去掉“the”] human race will never be diversity but the Nordic alone. How terrible it is. But the history will not replay when the Churchill was not even brought into the world. How can we forget Churchill? Certainly, if Churchill had no military and no assistant, maybe the horrible history will occur. However, the supposed condition will never exists[exist] in the history process. The reason why the famous few is[are] emphasized is derived from the key position on individuals.
   
    Secondly, the history is changing with the development of the times. We will not forget Watt invented the light to accelerate the history processing [process, processing 是“处理”的意思]. And he is also among the history hero who will never be forgotten. As the development of human civilization, the present person already realize [have already realized] that individual greatness can not work obviously in a tough and rough task sometimes. what they need is team spirits. So it is not difficult for us to assume that maybe some of crucial events and trends were fabricated by the succeeding generation in the history. So when such a topic is talk about at present, we can only reach such a conclusion that the famous few place higher significance in the history compared with involved group of people. Furthermore, the present scholar should reconsider how to study the history and how to pass on the history for our future generation in a right way.

    To sum up, the present scholar should not only highlight the significance of hero but also the involved and relavent [relevant] group of people. We should remember the famous heros[hero] in the history, and we should not forget the group of people even creat[creating ] the fatal events and trends in the history. In conclusion, all the people in the history creating the history and famous trend should be remembered despite they are famous or known[unknown] to the public. So the present scholar should also emphasize the study of the nobody in the future to fill the blank of history.


说明：    不好意思，由于本人水平有限，还是第一次帮别人改作文，暂且只能发现上述错误，而且很多还是借助word本身的纠错能力。
总体感受：值得肯定的你的文章没有逻辑上的错误，你的例子也还都能支持你的ts;
不过你的语言似乎还有发展的空间，过于口语化，不能展现你的文采。

jakamUID: 2217362

只有提纲, 对不起,

1.艺术家在创造着长久流传的东西,艺术作品:建筑,小说等
2.批评家在引导着人们的审美观点去发现和接受艺术家的东东
3.所以总体来看, 还是两着共同作用创造了历史的艺术和未来的艺术.

jakamUID: 2217362

不会写,只有提纲

1.scandals可以转移人的注意力
2.scandals可以给人以伤害,也可以提高人的指名度
3.scandals存在是正常的,每个人都有个人的事物需要解决

jakamUID: 2217362

只有提纲

1.研究领域的发展不是孤立的, 但又不是绝对的.
2.其他的外部领域可以促进单个领域的发展

fenghua9801UID: 2191885

我觉得即使是写提纲，也应该写的更加细一点，比如说举什么例子来论证之类的

sly60321UID: 2228803

不是有了提纲吗？ 照着提纲写就好了
实在写不来推荐去看看北美范文，很多题都有范文，全国应该都买的到

jakamUID: 2217362

第18次作文:

issue103 "the study of history has value only to the extent that it is relevant to our daily lives"

历史的研究意义重大
1, 研究和我们历史相关的东西有意义
2, 研究和我们历史不相关的也有意义
3, 研究历史的重要性:对未来的发展趋势有所预见, 避免前人所犯的错误再次发生
4, 结论:不仅仅在研究和日常相关的东西才有价值
   
Is that the study of history can only be effective and has value when it is relevant to our daily lives? The speaker claims so. To some extent, I can not completely agree with the assertion due to the speaker overstates the particular condition concerning the direct relevance between the history and our daily lives.     

    On one hand, no one can deny the fact that the relationship between the history and our daily lives can not be ignored despite it is directly or indirectly relevant to our daily lives. Our daily lives is the consequence of history process since the emergence of human civilization, which will become the history of tomorrow lives admittedly. Moreover, it is difficult for us to define and specify the connection between the history and the daily lives. However, the value and effectiveness to study history actually can achieve through doing research about the similarity of our daily lives to the history. Not only we can learn and absorb great knowledge from the abundant history resource, but also the experience from the history can not be easily omitted or neglected especially the something relevant to our daily lives. We will memorize how to implement or utilize fire to make cook for ever from the original history, and we will not forget sewing clothes to fight against the coldness. Much of daily lives is inherited from the history, and history bridge the passing from the initial ancestors' lives to our daily lives. We can sufficiently receive values from the study of history relevant to our daily lives.

    On the other hand, it is also beneficial and profitable to experience the study of history even if it is irrelevant to our daily lives greatly. To some special extent, the relevance does exist but the interplay between the history and our daily lives can not be observed or measured in a short time. We can gradually realize that the interaction between history and our daily lives as the development of science and technology. The gifted and intelligent present people devise the helicopter to make our flying dreams come true based on the dynamic theory. If the historical biologist never exposes themselves to recording details of the dragonfly for our people, maybe we will not invent and design the helicopter for ever. Admittedly, the dragonfly is only one small part to serve contriving the helicopter. We can not the direct the relationship between the record of dragon fly and our daily lives; even we can not determine the great relevance between the dragonfly and the helicopter. So we can not hesitate to reach the conclusion all the daily lives can not occur suddenly but happened naturally according to the development of history. As the time passes, something irrelevant to our daily lives will become greatly relevant according to the observation of historian. What's more, the relevance and interaction among the daily lives will become intense and intimate.



    Again, the study of history is crucial to find the solution to predict the tendency of future and avoid to repeating the mistakes ever happened in the history, which will be the final and significant value for us to reach. The method for us is not only focusing on something occurred in the history relevant to our daily life, but create a sort of theory to study the rule of history process in a systematic way. The study of history focusing on something happened in the history alone will make us miss the truthfulness not to figure out what we should trend to do in the future. If we only are cared about our daily life relevant to the history and never evaluate the environment problem: such as the environment contamination, population problem, balance between the human and animals and so forth maybe the daily life will not achieve the contemporary prosperity. What's more, we can forget something existed in the history, but we can not isolate the relationship between the history and our daily life.



    To sum up, the research and study of history should not only focus on something occurred in the history. All the things happened in the history are the great source for our future generation to inherit and promote. The relevance can not easily feel by our sentiment but should be observed continuously for ever for historian.