寄托家园8T互助小组第三组

绿洲里的骆驼UID: 2112781

原帖由 puddingheart 于 2006-7-29 21:25 发表
报名参加第3组。:)

哈 来对地方了 这里的人最勤劳 帖子也最多...;)

深蓝深圳UID: 2118855

原帖由 annocqu 于 2006-7-28 15:41 发表

the necessary cost & potential income/profit/benefit .

potential这个词真赞，我怎么就想不到呢:)~厉害

深蓝深圳UID: 2118855

People always say that if you want a success, you will not only have the natural ability you are born but also have to work hard. I think that [尽量避免I think that等较为大众化的句式。可以考虑换成To my point of view，For my part等，这样可以使句式生动]this view is to some extent correct, [前面的逗号应该改为分号或句号。因为这句话已经完整了] however, as far as I am concerned, hard working is more important to[to改为for较好] one’s success.

First of all, almost all of the people have the same level of intelligence. It is possible that some persons are good at logic thinking while the others[the others应改为others，表“其余人中的一部分”] do well in the practical things such as fixing the houses, repairing the bicycles[the houses和the bicycles的the都可以去掉，或将s去掉。因为表示可数名词有两种方法：1。The+单数；2。直接用复数] and the like. When I was young and studying in the middle school, I thought I was more talented than the others in my class since I could get better grades than them [缺介词in] every exam. But now I have changed my viewpoint, because many of my temporary classmates are living a happy life and I still study at school making no significant achievements[将s去掉。因为no后面只接单数].

Second, based on the average intelligence, hard working plays a vital role in people’s success. While two persons who have the same natural ability are doing the same work, if one is working harder than the other one, he will be destined to learn more knowledge and experiences[在experiences前加gains。因为experiences不能做learn的宾语], and have more chances to get in touch with his or her servers, then he or she will be more easier and sooner to achieve his or her aims. [前面这句话稍显长了些。可从then处断开]Take my personal experience for an example, while I graduated from the university, I found that those people who went to class and libraries more frequently finally got good positions of high salary of big companies or were offered better choices for studying aboard.

Conditionally, there are some genius[应为geniuses] who maybe are not hard workers but still make successes. We have to admit that this situation is scarce and has no general meaning.

In conclusion, the general people are more or less attributed the same amount of abilities. Hard working is more important for people’s successes.[结论段，只是重复了第一段的内容，而没有进行深化。建议加上“所以，我们应该。。。”等内容]


感觉LZ总体写得还是不错的：）结构比较清晰,用词方面也体现出了语言功底。但建议尽量避免因为语法错误而降低了可读性，并注意句子的流畅性：）
另外，说一句与作文本身关系不大的话：从你文中所举的两个例子来看，你似乎对自己没有足够的信心呢：）我想说的是，一个人的过去不可能不存在遗憾，但重要的是把握现在，这样才能有更好的未来：）

GOOD JOB！继续加油！
祝8T成功！
^_______^

[ 本帖最后由 深蓝深圳 于 2006-7-29 17:12 编辑 ]

深蓝深圳UID: 2118855

原帖由 Judy-Wang 于 2006-7-29 08:00 发表


报告斑竹！本人现在正在奋斗AW，估计最近TWE会展缓，等我先解决掉G, 再来拼T吧！
PS: 谢谢你的翻译！:D

不用谢:)

加油哦~！等你的好消息：）

深蓝深圳UID: 2118855

原帖由 绿洲里的骆驼 于 2006-7-29 11:42 发表


哈 来对地方了 这里的人最勤劳 帖子也最多...;)

:):):)

puddingheartUID: 2168494

原帖由 approach 于 2006-7-29 23:08 发表


给每天自己定量
真题什么的
有问题提上来
没有什么差生不差生
只有懒惰的学生....比如我............SIGH:(

谢谢YY鼓励,我一定加油!:hug:

puddingheartUID: 2168494

原帖由 绿洲里的骆驼 于 2006-7-30 02:42 发表


哈 来对地方了 这里的人最勤劳 帖子也最多...;)

悄悄地说:我的确是在参观了这七个组以后才决定加入第三组的,不是碰巧随便加入的.;P

approachUID: 2101189

原帖由 深蓝深圳 于 2006-7-30 12:11 发表
People always say that if you want a success, you will not only have the natural ability you are born but also have to work hard. I think that this view is to some extent correct,  however, as far  ...

:hug:小冰冰好认真~~~

annocquUID: 2127832

原帖由 深蓝深圳 于 2006-7-30 07:31 发表


potential这个词真赞，我怎么就想不到呢:)~厉害

呵呵,客气了

approachUID: 2101189

UPUP~
咋没人呢?

easylinUID: 199371

问下关于听力的问题，觉得现在听不出来的完全就是连读和弱化了，那要怎么克服呢？
反复听那些听不出来的地方，然后跟读我试了，但是连读和弱化的具体单词每次都不一样，所以下一次还是听不出来，该怎么办哦~~

easylinUID: 199371

也贴一篇作文，请大家多多批评，冰冰能不能也帮看看，不胜感激~~~
topic21  In general, people are living longer now. Discuss the causes of this phenomenon. Use specific reasons and details to develop your essay.
正文：
The earth is rotating every day; and things in the world are changing every moment, so is our human society. With the rushing waves of the development of human society, the average life expectancy has been remarkably increased in the past few decades. Among the countless reasons attributed to this phenomenon, as far as I am concerned, three most conspicuous factors are as follows.

First and foremost, the improved medical treatments serve as important opportunities for people to prolong their lives. At the beginning of last century, hardly could people survive in case they infect with the deceases such as variola or chincough; whereas at the end of the century, most of these fatal deceases could be cured on account of the rapid advancement of medical technology and method. Virtually no disease exists today for which there is no drug that can be given, either to cure the disease or to alleviate its symptoms.

Furthermore, the much higher living standard is another significant factor for people’s longevity. The past decades have witnessed the amazing development of people’s living condition: high buildings and large mansions took the place of old houses and small shelters; air condition or central heating kept people away from suffering to hot or cold weather. Now all these convenience not only provide people more comfort than before, but also alleviate their laborious work and keep them in good mood. Hence, there is no denying that people will live longer.

Last but not least, the nutritious food in people’s daily life nowadays also plays an important role. In the past, many people were even not able to feed themselves full, not to mention getting any nutritious food; however, people in the modern world not only can get plenty of nutrition from their daily meals, but also care much for the palatable as well as healthy food. It is the progressed healthy diet that offers people health and will surely prolong their lives.

In conclusion, the reasons resulting in modern people’s longevity are multi-faceted, but all these aspects can come down to the speedy development of science and technology of human society which mainly manifests in the above three factors.

approachUID: 2101189

原帖由 easylin 于 2006-7-31 19:28 发表
问下关于听力的问题，觉得现在听不出来的完全就是连读和弱化了，那要怎么克服呢？
反复听那些听不出来的地方，然后跟读我试了，但是连读和弱化的具体单词每次都不一样，所以下一次还是听不出来，该怎么办哦~~

有时候做对一个题并不用完全听懂的
根据对话的语气,根据对话的上下文,就可以猜对的

approachUID: 2101189

原帖由 easylin 于 2006-7-31 19:34 发表
也贴一篇作文，请大家多多批评，冰冰能不能也帮看看，不胜感激~~~
topic21  In general, people are living longer now. Discuss the causes of this phenomenon. Use specific reasons and details to develop  ...

建议你去看看别人写的同主题哦~
看别人的文章等于自己写了半个文章呢
给别人看了别人也回给你回看的

robbieyangUID: 2146518

原帖由 深蓝深圳 于 2006-7-30 08:11 发表
People always say that if you want a success, you will not only have the natural ability you are born but also have to work hard. I think that this view is to some extent correct,  however, as far  ...

thanks，举例子还是少了点素材，写的时候只是对原来自己浪费的青春感到十分遗憾，自信还是有的，呵呵