issue36 [smile-B]-第二次作业

dychangfengUID: 2216148

"The greatness of individuals can be decided only by those who live after them, not by their contemporaries."-issue 36
提纲：
1伟大的涵义。
2在文学艺术及自然学科，一些情况下同时代人是不能公正评判一个人的伟大的。
3在政治及商业方面，一般情况下是当代人就能评判一个人的伟大。

One problem must be solved before beginning the discussion of the evaluation of greatness. That is, the definition of "greatness". To such a large number of people, greatness means something famous, deserving all our common people's respect, such as Confucius, the man living in several thousand years ago in old China, a philosopher who was known with his great work-<lun yu>. You can not miss to notice that almost all people we regarded as greatness are the brilliant of the past. However, this does not mean that the greatness can only be decided by people living after them. That depends.

Actually, when we regarded someone as greatness, we mean their ideas or activities have much positive influence on their contemporaries and descendents. So the criteria of greatness should be how great positive influence they can exert on the majority of all human beings. In other words, if a person contribute greatly to our society, either nowadays or in the future, he or she is great to some extent. People can evaluate not only their ancestors but also "some of those" living in the same period of time with them by this standard.

Concerning arts, literature and natural science, though greatness can often get recognition, sometimes it is hard for people to evaluate their contemporaries without partiality. When it comes to pianists, we can not avoid Mozart, a talent compositor who can play piano at three and wrote his first composition at four. It is widely acknowledged that Mozart's music was always most popular with large amounts of people and Beethoven, also a great pianist grown with the music of Mozart. As Einstein ever said(and I paraphrase): It seems that the music Mozart was coming from the inner most of our heart not from the piano... Though so excellent and great, he still could not escape the fate of having a misery life. It is only after his death that he received deserved significant reputation and veneration of people all around the world. As far as I am concerned, the reason why he did not gain merited recognition is that his music transcended his contemporaries’ comprehension. There are also other cases. Take Copernicus for example. His theory of the earth revolves round the sun was not justified until several decades after his being persecuted to death. All of this illustrates that there are really some cases in these realms that greatness cannot be evaluated by their contemporaries, partly because they transcended the understanding of contemporaries and partly because the undemocratic society or someother things else.

While, in the realm of business and politics, greatness is recognized as soon as it comes into being without few exceptions. President Mao, the God in most peasants of China in the nineteenth century, get great respect even before the establishment of The People's republic of China. Bill Gates, who enjoy a high popularity not only in the young people but also in the old, get his fame and reward for his contribution to the development of computer and internet. With these cases, we can easily reach the conclusion that greatness in these fields can easily be recognized by contemporaries for the evaluation of greatness in this realm does not need too much time and so there is always no needs for people live after them to go on this work.

Although it is not too difficult for the contemporaries to evaluate someone in the same period in many cases, there really existed many other cases that the contemporaries cannot give proper evaluation. When it come a concrete person, we have to take into account the nature of his work and the society in which he lives to determine that whether their contemporaries have the power to make a credible evaluation.
觉得写得太罗嗦，可又不知道从哪里删，所以尽情批吧。:D

[ 本帖最后由 dychangfeng 于 2006-7-27 13:45 编辑 ]

dychangfengUID: 2216148

argu 56
论据：1人体雕塑逼真。
      2人体模型。
      3小雕塑和大的风格迥异。
      4在岛上很少发现雕塑工具。
结论：1大雕塑是用模型制作的。
      2小雕塑会升值大的会贬值。
      3小雕塑和大的风格迥异。
      4在岛上很少发现雕塑工具。

In this argument, the arguer concludes that the life-size sculptures, was made with molds actual bodies and then there would be a decrease in the value of the work of life-size, in contrast a increase in value of the miniatures. Though the argument seems logical at first glance, it sufferers several fallacies for assumptions upon which the notions relied were not so well-reasoned.

To begin with, the discovery of molds of human heads and hands on Kali does not mean that the life-size sculptures was not the made with sculpting tools and techniques, though they depicted bodies with great realistic precision. Given that the precise description of statues have confused the collectors a long time, it is easy to understand how excited the collectors were when they hearing the news of discovering of molds and delighted they were to accepted it as the reason of the precise description. However, the real reason may be covered by their attitude to the discovery. No direct evidence was given that the statues were products of molds in addition to the hands and heads molds. It was probable that Kalinese artists made the molds only for fun and only few of they used them to produce sculptures. Few ancient Kalinese sculpting tools have been found does not mean there were no tools of sculpting. It also can not be accounted for the molds of heads and hands. The author have not ruled out the possibility that tools of artists were hidden by ancient artists in someplace of the island or have been destroyed for some reason unknown to us. So it is gratuitous for the arguer to conclude that the
life-size statues were the product of molds.

Even though the assumption that Kalinese artists used molds to create life-size sculptures was credible, we can not come to the points that laudable explanation can be given to the variable styles of miniature statues. What we have founded only contributed to the existence for the molds of heads and hands. It can not get rid of the existence of molds of miniatures. We can equally guess that there were varieties of molds of miniatures and we just have not found them. What's more, little information was given about the function and the process of producing of miniatures, so we still can not explain the difference between life-style and miniatures in style.

And finally, the author fails to eliminate other scenarios that could affect value of the sculptures. There is abundance of factors that could impose influence on the value of statues, such as the popularity of these different statues in the collectors and the quantities and quality of the statues. General experience tells us that the fewer there are the subjects, the higher their price will be. Maybe there are many miniatures for their varieties in style. Overall, before rule out other factors that could affect the values of statues, we would better give no final judgment.

To sum up, unless the author give more evidence to justify his or her conclusion about the change in the value of statues, the process of their producing, the explanation of few tools being found and their difference between the life-style and miniature statues, we can not admit its legitimacy only on the basis of a discovery of hands and heads mold.

applehattieUID: 2195344

"The greatness of individuals can be decided only by those who live after them, not by their contemporaries."-issue 36
提纲：
1伟大的涵义。
2在文学艺术及自然学科，一些情况下同时代人是不能公正评判一个人的伟大的。
3在政治及商业方面，一般情况下是当代人就能评判一个人的伟大。
One problem must be solved before beginning the discussion of the evaluation of greatness. That is, the definition of "greatness". To such a large number of people, greatness means something famous, deserving all our common people's respect, such as Confucius, the man living in several thousand years ago in old China, a philosopher who was known with his great work-<lun yu>. You can not miss to notice that almost all people we regarded as greatness are the brilliant of the past. However, this does not mean that the greatness can only be decided by people living after them. That depends.（开头很特别，提出了应该先对伟大定义，然后再展开自己的观点，只是个人觉得在开头举一个例子好像不是很妥当，不过看着挺顺畅的，开头一半要求简洁，呵呵）

Actually, when we regarded someone as greatness, we mean their ideas or activities have much positive influence on their contemporaries and descendents（好像是下降的意思吧descendant）. So the criteria of greatness should be how great positive influence they can exert on the majority of all human beings. In other words, if a person contribute greatly to our society, either nowadays or in the future, he or she is great to some extent. People can evaluate not only their ancestors but also "some of those" living in the same period of time with them by this standard.（好像伟大不光是从他们的影响上看的吧，还有他们的杰出成就，对人类旧观念的改变，伟大的发现，生活的进步提高等等，说的是不是不够到位啊）

Concerning arts, literature and natural science, though greatness can often get recognition, sometimes it is hard for people to evaluate their contemporaries without partiality. When it comes to pianists, we can not ignoy Mozart（这个说法是不是不大好啊，而且用ignore不太恰当）, a talent composition（composer） who can play piano at three and wrote his first composition at four. It is widely acknowledged that Mozart's music was always most popular with large amounts of people and Beethoven, also a great pianist grown with the music of Mozart. As Einstein ever said(and I paraphrase): It seems that the music Mozart was coming from the inner most of our heart not from the piano... Though so excellent and great, he still could not escape the fate of having a misery life. Being not admitted by the society in which he lived, he died in poverty in his thirties. It is only after his death that he received deserved significant reputation and veneration of people all around the world.(这二句话在这里是不是有点多余啊，已经前面说了“misery life”了，是不是有点累赘啊) As far as I am concerned, the reason why he did not gain merited recognition is that his music transcended his contemporaries’ comprehension. When it comes to natural science subjects, there are also some cases in which someone’s greatness can not(what) by his or her contemporaries（这句话多余，TS已经讲出了，没有必要重述）. Take Copernicus for example. His theory of the earth revolves round the sun was not justified until several decades after his being persecuted to death. All of this illustrates that there are really some cases in these realms that greatness cannot be evaluated by their contemporaries, partly because they transcended the understanding of contemporaries and partly because the undemocratic society.（这句话后面再加一个其他很多原因，）

While, in the realm of business and politics, greatness is recognized as soon as it comes into being without few exceptions. President Mao, the God in most peasants of China in the nineteenth century（表达是不是有问题啊）, get great respect even before the establishment of The People's republic of China. Bill Gates, who enjoy a high popularity not only in the young people but also in the old, get his fame and reward for his contribution to the development of computer and internet. With these cases, we can easily reach the conclusion that greatness in these fields can easily be recognized by contemporaries for the evaluation of greatness in this realm does not need too much time and so there is always no needs for people live after them to go on this work.

Although it is not too difficult for the contemporaries to evaluate someone in the same period in many cases, there really existed many other cases that the contemporaries cannot give proper evaluation. When it come a concrete person, we have to take into account the nature of his work and the society in which he lives to determine that whether their contemporaries have the power to make a credible evaluation
整篇文章条理很明晰，结构也很清楚，论证合理到位，那个引用einstein的话很好
只是个别遣词造句上还有待考虑，还有lz觉得有点罗嗦的原因关键在于第二、三段，第三段里面Mozart的例子写的繁了一点，而且我觉得既然开头提出了必须给伟大作定义就直接说了算了，没有必要在下面紧跟一段，因为这个定义本身就不好把握，容易导致说不好
看了几篇文章觉得大家写的都比我好多了，我没有分开从哪个领域考虑啊，写的太仓促了，lz有时间也去看看我的文章啊

dychangfengUID: 2216148

自己看自己作文，哪句都舍不得删掉，还是旁观者清！
:Ldescendent 也有后代的意思
是啊，伟大的定义本来就不好把握，我就只能自己给一个定义然后根据它论证，算是
自圆其说吧
多谢批改:p

adam_spearsUID: 2109817

"The greatness of individuals can be decided only by those who live after them, not by their contemporaries."-issue 36
提纲：
1伟大的涵义。
2在文学艺术及自然学科，一些情况下同时代人是不能公正评判一个人的伟大的。
3在政治及商业方面，一般情况下是当代人就能评判一个人的伟大。

One problem must be solved before beginning the discussion of the evaluation of greatness. That is, the definition of "greatness".为什么要加引号呢？有些不明确 To such a large number of people, greatness means something famous, deserving all our common people's respect, such as Confucius, the man living in several thousand years ago in old China, a philosopher who was known with his great work-<lun yu>. You can not miss to notice that almost all people we regarded as greatness are the brilliant of the past. 这句比较出彩，有洞察力，学习了However, this does not mean that the greatness can only be decided by people living after them. That depends.开头比较精彩，但是最好把depends的情况稍微概括一下会比较好，表示出自己大概的论点，要不会显得首段不够有力

Actually, when we regarded someone as greatness这句不太对，someone是人，而greatness是一种特性，改为regarded someone as great对吗？, we mean their ideas or activities have much positive influence on their contemporaries and descendents. So the criteria of greatness should be how great positive influence they can exert on the majority of all human beings. In other words, if a person contribute greatly to our society, either nowadays or in the future, he or she is great to some extent. People can evaluate not only their ancestorsancestors是祖先的意思，与先人不太相同吧，我在网吧没有词典，你查一下吧 but also "some of those" living in the same period of time with them by this standard.

Concerning arts, literature and natural science, though greatness can often get recognition, sometimes it is hard for people to evaluate their contemporaries without partiality. When it comes to pianists, we can not avoid Mozartavoid用的不准确，改为neglect, a talent compositor who can play piano at three and wrote his first composition at four. It is widely acknowledged that Mozart's music was always most popular with large amounts of people and Beethoven, also a great pianist grown with the music of Mozart. As Einstein ever said(and I paraphrase): It seems that the music Mozart was coming from the inner most of our heart not from the piano...这句语法不对，但懂意思了 Though so excellent and great, he still could not escape the fate of having a misery life. It is only after his death that he received deserved significant reputation and veneration of people all around the world. As far as I am concerned, the reason why he did not gain merited recognition is that his music transcended his contemporaries’ comprehension. There are also other cases. Take Copernicus for example. His theory of the earth revolves round the sun was not justified until several decades after his being persecuted to death. All of this illustrates that there are really some cases in these realms that greatness cannot be evaluated by their contemporaries, partly because they transcended the understanding of contemporaries and partly because the undemocratic society or someother things else.删去else

While, in the realm of business and politics, greatness is recognized as soon as it comes into being without few exceptions. President Mao我不知道president是否恰当，一般用chairman,你查一下告诉我吧, the God in most peasants of China in the nineteenth century, getreceive great respect even before the establishment of The People's republic of China. Bill Gates, who enjoy a high popularity not only in the young people but also in the old, get his fame and reward for his contribution to the development of computer and internet. With these cases, we can easily reach the conclusion that greatness in these fields can easily be recognized by contemporaries for the evaluation of greatness in this realm does not need too much time and so there is always no needs for people live after them to go on this work.

Although it is not too difficult for the contemporaries to evaluate someone in the same period in many cases, there really existed many other cases that the contemporaries cannot give proper evaluation. When it comecome to a concrete person, we have to take into account the nature of his work and the society in which he lives to determine that whether their contemporaries have the power to make a credible evaluation.

拜读完后感觉你首段写的比较精彩，但在后面论证过程中，拿第三段为例，论证和举例有些脱节，基本论证是论证，例子是例子，我觉得应该在例子后再有些论述就更严密了，还有举的例子不在多，只要和论点对口，我觉得少的例子+深入的论证更好。
还有最后一段只是摆出了观点，而没有深入的论证，显得有些突兀，对结尾的写法我现在也有些疑问，不知是总结一下呢，还是深化一下主题，希望能够一起讨论解决结尾的问题。

一家之言，仅供参考。

拍的不好不要打我哦。。。

希望也狂拍我的文章

zhy5186612UID: 2167373

"The greatness of individuals can be decided only by those who live after them, not by their contemporaries."-issue 36
提纲：
1伟大的涵义。
2在文学艺术及自然学科，一些情况下同时代人是不能公正评判一个人的伟大的。
3在政治及商业方面，一般情况下是当代人就能评判一个人的伟大。

One problem must be solved before beginning the discussion of the evaluation of greatness. That is, the definition of "greatness". To such a large number of people, greatness means something famous, deserving all our[our 可以不要吧？] common people's respect, such as Confucius, the man living in several thousand years ago in old [old--ancient好点吧] China, a philosopher who was known with his great work-<lun yu> [lun yu--the Analects 或the Analects of Confucius] . You can not miss to notice that almost all people we regarded as greatness are the brilliant of the past. However, this does not mean that the greatness can only be decided by people living after them. That depends [？]. [通常ETS认为你自己提供的具体细节语言才重要，套话像One problem must be solved before beginning the discussion of the evaluation of greatness. That is, the definition of "greatness". 可能对得分贡献不大；而且，第一段就用例子，很不常见]
Actually, when we regarded [时态与后面不一致] someone as greatness, we mean their ideas or activities have much positive influence on their contemporaries and [and--or] descendents. So the criteria of greatness should be how great positive influence they [直接用名词吧，这样指代不明] can exert on the majority of all human beings. In other words, if a person contribute greatly to our society, either nowadays or in the future, he or she is great to some extent. People can evaluate not only their ancestors but also "some of those" living in the same period of time [of time 可以删除吧] with them by this standard.

Concerning arts, literature and natural science, though greatness can often get recognition, sometimes it is hard for people to evaluate their contemporaries without partiality[ to evaluate their contemporaries without partiality-- to evaluate fairly their contemporaries]. When it comes to pianists, we can not avoid Mozart, a talent compositor who can play piano at three and wrote his first composition at four. It is widely acknowledged that Mozart's music was always most popular with large amounts of people and Beethoven, also a great pianist grown with the music of Mozart. As Einstein ever said(and I paraphrase): It seems that the music Mozart was coming from the inner most of our heart not from the piano... Though so excellent and great, he still could not escape the fate of having a misery life. It is only after his death that he received deserved significant reputation and veneration of people all around the world. As far as I am concerned, the reason why he did not gain merited recognition is that his music transcended his contemporaries’ comprehension[那为什么说 Mozart's[1756-1791] music was always most popular with large amounts of people and Beethoven [1770-1827], also a great pianist grown with the music of Mozart. M和B是同时代的人，那就是说M得到了contemporaries尊重]. There are also other cases. Take Copernicus for example. His theory of the earth revolves round the sun was not justified until several decades after his being persecuted to death. All of this illustrates that there are really some cases in these realms that greatness cannot be evaluated by their contemporaries, partly because they transcended the understanding of contemporaries and partly because the undemocratic society or someother things else [someother things else--some other things 或something else] . [这一段，例子有点多而且衔接也稍差，建议Lz精简，例子太多又不是太欠当，ETS会认为你没有创造性]
While, in the realm of business and politics, greatness is recognized as soon as it comes into being without few exceptions. President Mao, the God in most peasants [people 好点吧] of China in the nineteenth century, get great respect even before the establishment of The People's republic of China. Bill Gates, who enjoy a high popularity not only in the young people but also in the old, get his fame and reward for his contribution to the development of computer and internet. With these cases, we can easily reach the conclusion that greatness in these fields can easily be recognized by contemporaries for the evaluation of greatness in this realm [ in this realm 前面有 in these fields  ，可以删除] does not need too much time and so there is always no needs for people live after them to go on this work.这一段不错:lol
Although it is not too difficult for the contemporaries to evaluate someone in the same period in many cases, there really existed many other cases that the contemporaries cannot give proper evaluation. When it come a concrete person, we have to take into account the nature of his work and the society in which he lives to determine that whether their contemporaries have the power to make a credible evaluation.
总体评价（包括上面的 全是个人意见哈）
1 内容挺丰富的 句式和词汇都不错
2 多注意条理性，大部分例子如果不确定可以到微软百科全书查查

dychangfengUID: 2216148

作文背拍得感觉就是这样的！呵呵
十分感谢楼上几位，我都觉得自己不会举例子了！
完全同意例子+加深入论证的观点，实行起来真有难度啊:L

kito9695UID: 209685

发帖格式错误请修改~

imzxzUID: 2138612

One problem must be solved before beginning the discussion of the evaluation of greatness. That is, the definition of "greatness". To such a large number of people, greatness means something famous, deserving all our common people's respect, such as Confucius, the man living in several thousand years ago in oldacient? China, a philosopher who was known with his great work-<lun yu>. You can not missfail? to notice that almost all people we regarded as greatness are the brilliant of the past. However, this does not mean that the greatness can only be decided by people living after them. That depends.开头不错，但似乎应该把例子移到下面去

Actually, when we regarded someone as greatness, we mean their主谓不一致 ideas or activities have much positive influence on their contemporaries and descendents. So the criteria of greatness should be how great positive influence they can exert on the majority of all human beings. 下定义，不错In other words, if a person contribute greatly to our society, either用whether好些 nowadays or in the future, he or she is great to some extent. People can evaluate not only their ancestors but also "some of those" living in the same period of time with them by this standard.

Concerning arts, literature and natural science, though greatness can often get recognition, sometimes it is hard for people to evaluate their contemporaries without partiality.好句子 When it comes to pianists, we can not avoid Mozart, a talent compositor who canwas able to play piano at three and wrote his first composition at four. It is widely acknowledged that Mozart's music was always most popular with large amounts of people and Beethoven, also a great pianist grown with the music of Mozart. As Einstein ever said(and I paraphrase): It seems that the music Mozart was coming from the inner most of our heart not from the piano... Though so excellent and great, he still could not escape the fate of having a misery life. It is only after his death that he received deserved significant reputation and veneration of people fromall around the world. As far as I am concerned, the reason why he did not gain merited recognition is that his music transcended his contemporaries’ comprehension. There are also other cases. Take Copernicus for example. His theory of the earth revolves round the sun was not justified until several decades after his being persecuted to death. All of this illustrates that there are really some cases in these realms that greatness cannot be evaluated by their contemporaries, partly because they transcended the understanding of contemporaries and partly because the undemocratic society or someother things else. 结尾总结得不错，但这段写得有点散

While, in the realm of business and politics, greatness is recognized as soon as it comes into being withoutpwith few exceptions. President Mao, the God in most peasants of China in the nineteenth是20世纪吧？ century, get great respect even before the establishment of The People's republic of China. Bill Gates, who enjoy a high popularity not only in the young people but also in the old, has already gotget his fame and reward for his contribution to the development of computer and internet. With these cases, we can easily reach the conclusion that greatness in these fields can easily be recognized by contemporaries for the evaluation of greatness in this realm does not need too much time and so there is always no needs for people live after them to go on withthis work.个人感觉论证应该再展开些

Although it is not too difficult for the contemporaries to evaluate someone in the same period in many cases, there really existed many other cases that the contemporaries cannot give proper evaluation. When it comecomes to a concrete person, we have to take into account the nature of his work and the society in which he lives to determine that whether their contemporaries have the power to make a credible evaluation.

总体感觉句子和用词写得不错，如果能再组织一下具体论述句子之间的结构就更好了。例子也可以精简些。