Argument47 [0610G我的九月小组]第二次作业

maggie-leeUID: 2220892

In this argument, the arguer claims that the sudden cooling of the earth in the mid-sixth century was probably caused by the exploding of volcano. To substantiate the view, the arguer cites the evidence of the historical materials, including the records found in Asia and Europe which described the situations, and the retained accounts of the mysterious loud boom. However, a careful scrutiny will reveal how groundless and gratuitous the reasoning is.

Firstly, the arguer fails to provide convincing evidences to prove that volcanic eruption and a tremendous meteorite colliding are the only possible causes of the earth's cooling. It is totally possible that the cooling of earth is resulted from the other factors, such as diastrophism. To consolidate the conclusion, the arguer has to present persuasive evidences on why the other probable factors are excluded rationally and reasonably, such as the results of latest research.

Secondly, even assuming that volcanic eruption and enormous meteorite are the merely two possible causes of the cooling effect, another flaws commited by the arguer is that he or she eliminates meteorite as the cause without warranty. The critical evidence, based on which the elimination is reached, is that no retained historical records show the appearance of flash at that time. Actually, it is completely possible that the historical materials recording the flash have been destroyed, or those records have not been discovered till now.

Finally, a ridiculous assumption of this argument is that the loud boom recorded in the historical materials is the sound caused by the eruption of volcano. There is no doubt that the sound might be resulted from other potential factors, like earthquake. Meanwhile the other reasonable explanation is that the meteorite collision happened in Europe, rather than in Asia, therefore chances are that the people in Asia could merely hear the sound, not see the flash. To make the reasoning particularly convincing, the arguer should cite credible evidences to solidify the assumption.

In conclusion, the evidence cited by the arguer is limited and unpersuasive, relied on which some unfair assumptions are made. Before we accept the conclusion, the arguer would have to produce more information and facts to lend strong support to the claims.

kevin_6603UID: 2170493

第三段第二行commited ====committed
其他的内容方面还在看。。。。。

kevin_6603UID: 2170493

In this argument, the arguer claims that the sudden cooling of the earth in the mid-sixth century was probably caused by the exploding of volcano. To substantiate the view, the arguer cites the evidence of the historical materials, including the records found in Asia and Europe which described the situations, and the retained accounts of the mysterious loud boom. However, a careful scrutiny will reveal how groundless and gratuitous the reasoning is.（写的不错，层次很清晰）

Firstly, the arguer fails to provide convincing evidences to prove that volcanic eruption and a tremendous meteorite colliding are the only possible causes of the earth's cooling. It is totally possible that the cooling of earth is resulted from the other factors, such as diastrophism. （最好再加那么一两句，不然攻击显的有些单薄）To consolidate the conclusion, the arguer has to present persuasive evidences on why the other probable factors are excluded rationally and reasonably, such as the results of latest research.

Secondly, even assuming that volcanic eruption and enormous meteorite are the merely two possible causes of the cooling effect, another flaws commited （committed）by the arguer is that he or she eliminates meteorite as the cause without warranty. The critical evidence, based on which the elimination is reached, is that no retained historical records show the appearance of flash at that time. Actually, it is completely possible that the historical materials recording the flash have been destroyed, or those records have not been discovered till now. (这一段可以说的更多一些的，例如白光是否是全球都能看见，或者可能白光是在当时还没有进入文字记录时代的地区，比如南极发生的)

Finally, a ridiculous assumption of this argument is that the loud boom recorded in the historical materials is the sound caused by the eruption of volcano. There is no doubt that the sound might be resulted from other potential factors, like earthquake. Meanwhile the other reasonable explanation is that the meteorite collision happened in Europe, rather than in Asia, therefore chances are that the people in Asia could merely hear the sound, not see the flash. To make the reasoning particularly convincing, the arguer should cite credible evidences to solidify the assumption.

In conclusion, the evidence cited by the arguer is limited and unpersuasive, relied on which some unfair assumptions are made. Before we accept the conclusion, the arguer would have to produce more information and facts to lend strong support to the claims.（显得有点单调，应该是每篇套用的那种吧，感觉可以改一下，改成那种可以和文章有联系的那种）


总体感觉条理很清楚，然后比较精练，虽然字数不多，但分析的都还算到位，但如果个别段落如Firstly和Secondly 再扩充一点感觉会更好一些，文章显得饱满一点。个人感觉很不错拉，还是那种限时的说~~~~
偶水平有限啊，文法方面的不太会改，只能说说对文章的感觉哈，但论述有逻辑错误偶还是找的出的哈~~`

[ 本帖最后由 kevin_6603 于 2006-7-26 15:33 编辑 ]

maggie-leeUID: 2220892

改得好，太感谢了，我自己也觉得论述太单薄，对原文的驳斥没有充分展开，有点点到为止的感觉，太蜻蜓点水了。

kevin_6603UID: 2170493

客气了客气了哈~~~~