argument76 [smile] 第八次作业

yxjessieUID: 194526

TOPIC: ARGUMENT76 - The following appeared as part of an article in a health and beauty magazine.

"A group of volunteers participated in a study of consumer responses to the new Luxess face cream. Every morning for a month, they washed their faces with mild soap and then applied Luxess. At the end of that month, most volunteers reported a marked improvement in the way their skin looked and felt. Thus it appears that Luxess is truly effective in improving the condition of facial skin."
WORDS: 306 -> 457       TIME: 0:30:00          DATE: 2006-8-9

限时失败，不过化妆品的内容到是挺感兴趣的，呵呵
The author suggests that the Luxess is effective in improving the condition of facial skin by the response of a group of volunteers who take part in the study of the effectiveness of the Luxess face cream. The suggestion seems reasonable at the first glance. However, after careful scrutinized, the study still lack of a lot of necessary aspects to make it convinced.

First of all, the study of the new Luxess face cream is not well controlled. There is not any information about the age, original skin conditions and living habits of these volunteers. We also do not know the number that is included in the study which makes the study results might not be representative. If the volunteers also change their diets to a healthier one, for example, they ate fried food very often before participated in the study, but changed to eat more refresh vegetable and fruit during the one month of the study, the skin improvement might be due to the diet change, but not the cream. Furthermore, the author overstated the effect of the response of the volunteers since most people may think that their skin have improved by the hint of their psychology especially for they were informed that the cream was going to help improve their skin condition.

Secondly, when the volunteers applied Luxess everyday during the study, they also used mild soap to wash their faces. So the improvement might be caused by the mild soap since these volunteers was possible used other soap that might be harmed to their skins. The author fails to provide the specific details on whether the soap or Luxess contributed to the skin improvement.

Last but not least, there should be some doubts on the time period of the study. Is the one month long enough to demonstrate that Luxess is effective? How is the skin condition of the consumers after they use the cream for a month? Is the skin become worse? If the improvement of the skin is just last for one month, and become worse after that, the effectiveness might due to some chemical elements that can improve the skin condition contemporarily like the function of the cosmetic which usually cannot help the skin but even harm its condition. Since the author does not indicate any functions of the cream on human being’s skin, the conclusion is unwarranted.

Before making a convinced conclusion of whether the new Luxess cream is effective or not, the author needs to provide more details of the volunteers of the study or conducted some studies again that are better controlled. Without making clear that whether the skins are improved and what helps the improvements of the skins, the read cannot trust this article at all.

applehattieUID: 2195344

The author suggests that the Luxess is effective in improving the condition of facial skin by the response of a group of volunteers who take part in the study of the effectiveness of the Luxess face cream. The suggestion seems reasonable at the first glance. However, after careful scrutinized, the study still lack of (lacks) a lot of necessary aspects to make it convinced.

First of all, the study of the new Luxess face cream is not well controlled. There is not any information about the age, original skin conditions and living habits of these volunteers. We also do not know the number that is included in the study which makes the study results might not be representative（表达有点问题，the number of the volunteers which …会不会好一点啊）. If the volunteers also change their diets to a healthier one, for example, they ate fried food very often before participated in the study, but changed to eat more refresh vegetable and fruit during the one month of the study, the skin improvement might be due to the diet change, but not the cream. Furthermore, the author overstated the effect of the response of the volunteers since most people may think that their skin have improved by the hint of their psychology especially for they were informed that the cream was going to help improve their skin condition（开头一句是不是讲validity 比较好，后面不光讲了control啊， 最后的心里暗示讲的挺好的）

Secondly, when the volunteers applied Luxess everyday during the study, they also used mild soap to wash their faces. So the improvement might be caused by the mild soap since these volunteers was possible used other soap that might be harmed to their skins（既然有害，皮肤怎么还会变好啊， 就直接说用了别的牌子的产品好了）. The author fails to provide the specific details on whether the soap or Luxess contributed to the skin improvement.

Last but not least, there should be some doubts on the time period of the study. Is the one month long enough to demonstrate that Luxess is effective? How is the skin condition of the consumers after they use the cream for a month? Is the skin become worse? If the improvement of the skin is just last for one month, and become worse after that, the effectiveness might due to some chemical elements that can improve the skin condition contemporarily like the function of the cosmetic which usually cannot help the skin but even harm its condition. Since the author does not indicate any functions of the cream on human being’s skin, the conclusion is unwarranted.

Before making a convinced conclusion of whether the new Luxess cream is effective or not, the author needs to provide more details of the volunteers of the study or conducted some studies again that are better controlled. Without making clear that whether the skins are improved and what helps（or what makes或causes） the improvements of the skins, the read（reader） cannot trust this article at all. （或者说this argument is unconvincing）

1．文章结构还是挺好的，思路也比较清晰，看了你的文章后开阔了我的思路啊
2．但是感觉有些TS写的不是很能引领整个段落，总体感觉还是不错的拉
3．呵呵，本人水平有限，说的不好的或说错的谅解啊，欢迎你去拍拍我的文章，我就快考了啊