Issue130 欢迎拍砖

qhx17UID: 142079

TOPIC: ISSUE130 - "How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."
WORDS: 611          TIME: 0:45:00          DATE: 2006-11-4

In this assertion, the author claims that children play an important role in the destiny of society, but people have not learned a better way to raise children to make them construct a better society. In my personal viewpoint, I agree with the speaker when it comes to the importance of children in society's destiny, while in other respects I might not support the speaker's assertion.

At first place, I support the assertion that how children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. With the development of our society and advancement of human ego, children as the next generation, their education has become more and more central concern, for their future is our hope. Whether children become the useful persons amount to the whole society how to develop. As we all known, the nation after the others or not enough strong as the others might be inferior to the others, especially in such competing world. The strength and improvement of a nation equate to every person ego development. And in children hood, person can be easily model by strict education, and parents might bring up them to firm a series of good habits. The quality of a person, such as high education level, good habits in lifestyle, and good attainment how to communicate with others, determines whether this person can fuse into the society.

A second place, the speaker says that unfortunately, people have not reach the way to cultivate children building a better society. While the speaker might be overlook the contribution in bringing up children. Actually, people might do not very to achieve the goal raising children to help build to better society, but we should acknowledge the endeavor people make. No ones want the next generation to be not better than them. No ones want the future society worse.

Admittedly, we have not learned very well how to bring up children or we have not find a better way to make children become what we expect. There might be some reasons in several respects. When it comes to education systems, children are asked to learn the same knowledge and master the same skill and technology, and even become the same type of people for job. Meanwhile, they overload study nearly throughout the whole student hood, every day they are told to work hard otherwise they would fall behind. And their individual interests and indeed needs are ignored. Under such circumstance, children only pursuit the achievement of high marks and compete with other students. Working hard is not fault, but giving up other goals sacrifices too much, for children become no different characters and the society tends to single. However, every society needs diversity, needs various talent to build a better society in every areas. When it comes to society background, the distinction between the rich and the poor, the different incomes in different jobs, teach children competence and struggle a higher position in society. Although competing with others is a good attitude, only competing is not enough. Competing become people indifference and not careful around people. What children should learn is cooperation. In society, people place more emphasize on teamwork, because teamwork is a better to face the competition. While in school children are taught the cooperation, they master little.

In sum, the destiny of society is controlled by children how socialize they are. What is the best way to raise the children is complex and controversial. In my opinion, adjustment of competition and cooperation in the process of cultivation children plays an critical role in the growth of children and will be benefit in their future, enhance will be good for construction a better society.

ChinatevaUID: 2231377

How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. 是前提，是否认同，那什么是socialize？？

Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society. 提出了一个观点，你是否认同，或部分认同

另外是选词和错误很多，句式也有问题，你试着先多阅读，提高editing的能力，再修改一下自己的文章！
Working hard is not fault fault是noun
the society tends to single single是adj 而且是单个的意思，不是你要表达的意思 homogenized

various talents

Competing （competition） become people indifference and not careful around people

Competing也不是形容词
indifference 名词

几乎大多数句子有问题，可能是限时的原因

[ 本帖最后由 Chinateva 于 2006-11-4 14:33 编辑 ]