Issue38 米国有米小组第一次作业 欢迎拍砖

aefiterUID: 2134740

TOPIC: ISSUE38 - "In the age oftelevision, reading books is not as important as it once was. People can learnas much by watching television as they can by reading books."
WORDS: 550          TIME: 0:44:16          DATE: 2006-11-14

The author claims that television willsubstitute the role books as the major method for us to study under the greatinfluence of electronics. However, I should point out that this statementoverlooks some special features book reading provides us. Although we willdefinitely acquire far more information from television than from books, theprincipal vehicle that helps us to learn is still the book.

To begin with, I should give my consent tothis statement in that it reveals the influential function of television ofpresenting people information with incredible efficiency and clarity. Astelevision possesses special advantage that is enabled by the computer science,various form of information will be easily transformed and sent to the cablenetwork, which provide people immediate access to the highlights of the freshnews all around the world. Compared with people living in the past, we cansafely arrive at the conclusion that television enable us a completely newformat of being informed about the world.

Although Television, as one of the mostimpressive invention of the 20th Century, changes the style of our lives, thereality that we still learn the most contents of our course work through booksreminds us of the importance of books as an alternative for the media ofinformation. Someone may mention the emerging trend that television system,computer aided learning, and high speed access to Internet are going tothoroughly change our form of learning other than the way for us to receiveinformation, I would demonstrate that all of these technology-aided measuresare simply for the convenience of our learning, rather than attempting tochange our style of learning, or eliminating the necessity of the existence ofbooks.

Firstly, books, quite different from Television,function as an important bearer of an atmosphere of culture and history,through which we will inherit the ability of being educated and cultivated as alearned person as our antecedents did. Just assume we will appreciate thebeautiful teaching of Bible through reading the material appeared ontelevision. Although this process meets the final target of acquiring theintended knowledge, it destroys the sacred atmosphere of Bible to someChristians.

Secondly, there are some practical benefitsthat books will provide us yet television will not. In some specialcircumstances, the poor condition will not allow people to use television fortheir study; in some other situation, however, people will feel acquiringinformation from television complicated and less meaningful. While televisionis powerful at presenting animated pictures, it demands a great deal ofelectricity supply as well. Books, however, will be produced with less cost,and thus will be widely used in various situations, such as people who need tolearn in a poor country, or students who are preparing for an examination withthe practice book.

To sum up, books will not be out-datedunder the sweeping influence of television, although television systems aremore and more easily to be accessed, and to provide more volume of informationthat books cannot. As has been illustrated above, to be able to read books isboth an important ability that will be useful for a person to survive in thesociety, and more importantly, a significant form of activity through whichpeople will become a complete person living in the world.

ernest81888UID: 2247639

The author claims that television will substitute the role books as the major method for us to study under the great influence of electronics. However, I should point out that this statement overlooks some special features book reading provides us. （最好后面加一句总结，比如this statement is too extreme, 或者I can not wholly agree it） Although (前面已经有个让步了<however>，这里紧接着有来一个，是不是有点不好)we will definitely acquire far more information from television than from books, the principal vehicle that helps us to learn is still the book.（你的观点是虽然电视正在发展，看书是不能被替代的）

To begin with, I should give my consent to this statement in that it reveals the influential function of television of presenting people information with incredible efficiency and clarity. As television possesses special advantage that is enabled by the computer science, various form of information will be easily transformed and sent to the cable network, which provide people immediate access to the highlights of the fresh views all around the world.(总觉得这句话写的太长了，有点GRE难句的味道了,是不是应该加点如CAN， MIGHT，WOULD之类的词) Compared with people living in the past, we can safely arrive at the conclusion that television enable us a completely new format of being informed about the world.（我觉得这句写的很好，让步的比较透彻）
（第2段总结，我认为你一整段写电视的优点，是不是太多了，你的观点主要还是支持看书）

Although Television, as one of the most impressive invention of the 20th Century, changes the style of our lives, thereality that we still learn the most contents of our course work through books reminds us of the importance of books as an alternative for the media of information.（通过举例COURSE WORK，不错。但是觉得可以写的详细点） Someone may mention the emerging trend that television system, computer aided learning, and high speed access to Internet are going to thoroughly change our form of learning other than the way for us to receive information, I would demonstrate that all of these technology-aided measures are simply for the convenience of our learning, rather than attempting to change our style of learning, or eliminating the necessity of the existence of books.（大哥，我觉得这一段话，你就表明了立场，写的未免太长了吧，你看你第4，5段才写多少，我觉得放最后到是可以，引出下一段，只要一句话就可以了吧）

Firstly, books, quite different from Television, function as an important bearer of an atmosphere of culture and history, through which we will inherit the ability of being educated and cultivated as a learned person as our antecedents did. Just assume we will appreciate the beautiful teaching of Bible through reading the material appeared on television. Although this process meets the final target of acquiring the intended knowledge, it destroys the sacred atmosphere of Bible to some Christians.（举例读书比看电视更有气氛，尤其是在学习文化和历史方面，总觉得这个层次的说服力不强啊，历史和文化很多都有电影电视，气氛也不错啊，主要是看拍成什么样字，你很容易被反驳）

Secondly, there are some practical benefits （这里还是用advantage比较好吧）that books will provide us yet television will not. In some special circumstances, the poor condition will not allow people to use television frothier study; in some other situation, however, people will feel acquiring information from television complicated and less meaningful. While televisions powerful at presenting animated pictures, it demands a great deal （写的有点重了吧）of electricity supply as well. Books, however,（换个词吧，老用HOWEVER） will be produced with less cost, and thus will be widely used in various situations, such as people who need to learn in a poor country, or students who are preparing for an examination with the practice book.（这段写的非常好，非常有说服力，逻辑性也很强，建议作者把这段好好练练写）

To sum up, books will not be out-dated under the sweeping influence of television, although television systems are more and more easily to be accessed, and to provide more volume of information that books cannot. As has been illustrated above, to be able to read books is both an important ability that will be useful for a person to survive in the society, and （语法这里有点问题）more importantly, a significant form of activity through which people will become a complete person living in the world.（你首段的观点是虽然电视正在发展，看书是不能被替代的，请注意首尾呼应，感觉这里你的力度不够）

总结：希望楼主能够下次把提纲show一下，文章还是有精彩的地方，但是逻辑性不是很强，而且有写句子写的太长了

aefiterUID: 2134740

第一次有人改我的文章, 我觉得这种方式真的很好,
感谢ernest81888,
我也要看看你的文章.

sxh0720UID: 2203913

我看北美范文的句子也好长阿
到底是长好还是短好呢

sxh0720UID: 2203913

还有是你们一般是在哪里写呢
我用一个txt
不知道一行多长为好
考试时有规定么？

bailamo27UID: 2191717

TOPIC: ISSUE38 - "In the age oftelevision, reading books is not as important as it once was. People can learnas much by watching television as they can by reading books."
WORDS: 550          TIME: 0:44:16          DATE: 2006-11-14

The author claims that television will substitute the role books as the major method for us to study under the great influence of electronics. However, I should point out (我认为可以不要should，而用must,语气更强）that this statement overlooks some special features book reading provides us. Although we will definitely acquire far more information from television than from books, theprincipal vehicle that helps us to learn is still the book.

To begin with, I should give my consent to　this statement in that it reveals the influential function of television of　presenting people information with incredible efficiency and clarity. As television possesses special advantage(s) that is(are) enabled by the computer science,various form of information will be easily transformed and sent to the cable network, which provide people immediate access to the highlights of the freshnews all around the world. Compared with people living in the past, we can safely arrive at the conclusion that （好）television enable us a completely new　format of being informed about the world.

Although Television, as one of the most　impressive invention of the 20th Century, changes （has changed　因为电视产生的影响已经发生了）the style of our lives（styles of our life 生活方式多种多样）, there　ality that we still learn the most contents of our course work through books　reminds us of the importance of books as an alternative for the media of　information. Someone may mention the emerging trend that television system,computer aided learning, and high speed access to Internet are going tothoroughly change our form of learning other than the way for us to receive information, I would demonstrate that all of these technology-aided measuresare(s) simply for the convenience of our learning, rather than attempting tochange our style of learning, or eliminating the necessity of the existence ofbooks.(这句话太长，有点让人摸不着头脑了．用简单的句子表示可能效果会好些．）

Firstly, books, quite different from Television,function as an important bearer of an atmosphere of culture and history,through which we will inherit the ability of being educated and cultivated as alearned person as our antecedents did. Just assume we will appreciate thebeautiful teaching of Bible through reading the material appeared ontelevision. Although this process meets the final target of acquiring theintended knowledge, it destroys the sacred atmosphere of Bible to someChristians.（此段我的观点跟２楼的有同感，我个人认为有时候历史电影或记录片的教育意义比书本更强，所以这段没什么说服力．）

Secondly, there are some practical benefits　that books will provide us yet television will not. （yet的位置感觉有些不恰当.放在句末较好．）In some specialcircumstances, the poor condition will not allow people to use television fortheir study; in some other situation（s), however, people will feel acquiring information from television complicated and less meaningful. While televisionis powerful at presenting animated pictures, it demands a great deal ofelectricity supply as well. Books, however, will be produced with less cost,and thus will be widely used in various situations, such as people who need tolearn in a poor country, or students who are preparing for an examination withthe practice book.

To sum up, books will not be out-datedunder the sweeping influence of television(good!), although television systems aremore and more easily to be accessed (to), and to provide more volume of informationthat books cannot. As has been illustrated above, to be able to read books isboth an important ability that will be useful for a person to survive in thesociety, and more importantly, a significant form of activity through whichpeople will become a complete person living in the world.

逻辑性不强，没有太多具有说服力的例子．