Issue38 [米国有米小组FeibingX第一次作业]欢迎来拍！

feibingxUID: 2212956

Issue 38.
In the age of television, reading books is not as important as it once was. People can learn as much by watching television as they can by reading books.
Words: 457                 Date: 2006-11-16

I agree with the speaker's broad assertion that reading books is not as important as it once was. Admittedly, book is not the only entity that can carries information and knowledge nowadays, while television is also able to provide more opportunities for people to learn. However, the speaker unnecessarily extends this broad assertion to equate learning by watching television and by reading books, while ignoring certain compelling reason why books still play a main role in all education system.

It might be tempting to agree with the speaker on the basis that the importance of reading books in learning is declining. After all, watching television provides a more effective and easier way for learning. Televisions, together with videos, movies, can carry very vividly information which is unable to be described by words in books. For example, in a dance class, it will be more convictive for students to watch a dance video than to read someone's describing text. Thus, it should be confirmed that when it comes to some particular areas such as arts education, it is television, rather than books, has an inherent advantage.

While we benefited from television in certain areas, at the same time we should not ignore that books have been working as a medium of knowledge in the past thousands of years. Books enable readers to review and cross certain captures, while television could not. Moreover, learning is a process on one's own initiative. Reading books is a process needs to be concentrated on, which means you should think of what you are reading, but watching television, on the other hand, is a passive process, which means it could be easily ignored that what one is watching. Accordingly, watching television will do less effective than reading in the process of learning. For instance, when someone is learning algebra, reading books and performing some mathematical calculations with one's own hands is much more benefited than watching someone else doing the same thing on television, which maybe cannot be understood at all by just watching once.

An even more striking example of books is not obsolete involves the fact that television needs a lot of equipments to support. Videos and television material would be useless without electricity, video player, cable connection or other equipments, while books can be read in any place and any situation -- especially in some poor places where even don't has electricity.

In sum, television and video could be more effective than books in some parts of learning and education such as arts. However, it should also be committed that books have more advantage in more situation. Accordingly, people can learn more by reading books than by watching television, though reading books is not as important as it once was.

我的第一篇issue
请多指教

[ 本帖最后由 feibingx 于 2006-11-17 23:21 编辑 ]

joochangUID: 2265219

Issue 38.In the age of television, reading books is not as important as it once was. People can learn as much by watching television as they can by reading books.
I agree with the speaker's broad assertion that reading books is not as important as it once was. Admittedly, book is not the only entity that can carries[carry] information and knowledge nowadays, while television is also able to provide more opportunities for people to learn. However, the speaker unnecessarily extends this broad assertion to equate learning by watching television and[equate…to…] by reading books, while ignoring certain compelling reason why books still play a main role in all education system.

It might be tempting to agree with the speaker on the basis that the importance of reading books in learning is declining. After all, watching television provides a more effective and easier way for learning. [本段文字均围绕此句展开，故将其提前置于段首可能更易使读者找到T.S.]Televisions, together with videos, movies, can carry very vividly[vivid-adj.修饰名词] information which is unable to be described by words in books. For example, in a dance class, it will be more convictive for students to watch a dance video than to read someone's describing text.[ponderous textbook—换成“呆板的教科书”也挺好] Thus, it should be confirmed that when it comes to some particular areas such as arts education, it is television, rather than books, has an inherent advantage.

While we benefited from television in certain areas, at the same time we should not ignore[认为用neglect好些，ignore有主观忽视之意，issue中最好不用] that books have been working as a medium of [加上spreading会更好]knowledge in the past thousands of years.[划线处能够较好地与上一段衔接^_^，但似乎不是T.S.，T.S.最好出现在段首]Books enable readers to review and cross certain captures[不太懂…], while television could not. Moreover, learning is a process on one's own initiative.[加个衔接好些] Reading books is a process needs to be concentrated on, which means you should think of what you are reading, but watching television, on the other hand, is a passive process, which means it could be easily ignored that what one is watching. Accordingly, watching television will do[be] less effective than reading in the process of learning. For instance, when someone is learning algebra, reading books and performing some mathematical calculations with one's own hands is much more benefited than watching someone else doing the same thing on television, which maybe cannot[删掉maybe] be understood at all by just watching once.[本段有些混乱，论点似乎与主题没有明确的关系,例子也不够说服力]

An even more striking example of books is not obsolete involves the fact that television needs a lot of equipments to support. Videos and television material would be useless without electricity, video player, cable connection or other equipments, while books can be read in any place and any situation -- especially in some poor places where even don't has electricity.[本段论述的是电视的弊端，衔接在第2段（论述电视的益处）之后能使文章更自然]

In sum, television and video could be more effective than books in some parts of learning and education such as arts. However, it should also be committed[admitted] that books have more advantage in more situation. Accordingly, people can learn more by reading books than by watching television, though reading books is not as important as it once was.[呼应了论点，很好！]

文章总体尚可，各段的衔接不错。但第三段的分论点不鲜明，不能很好地支持全文主题。另外，段落的顺序安排应该注意一下。

[ 本帖最后由 joochang 于 2006-11-18 23:03 编辑 ]