Issue38 【米国有米】小组第一次作业

joochangUID: 2265219

TOPIC: ISSUE38 - "In the age of television, reading books is not as important as it once was. People can learn as much by watching television as they can by reading books."
WORDS: 343           DATE: 2006-11-17

提纲：
A.      电视的好处
Television provides us a myriad of information which we have never known before and it expands our eyesight by informing us with lots of new things that we cannot gain from our common life or experience.
B.      电视的缺点
Watching TV may turn into an action of wasting time.
C．书籍的重要性不容置疑
Books involve the knowledge of all fields, that is, books are the summarization and reflection of the practice and the experience of ancestors, and they are also the exhibition of modern civilization.

The speaker asserts that reading books is not as significant as it once was, and people can learn as much as by watching television as they can by reading, and I agree insofar as television becomes an more and more important part in our lives. However, the assertion is indefensible. In my view, reading is always a indispensable component which we need in daily life.

The assertion that television plays a significant part is quite compelling. Indisputably, television provides us a myriad of information which we have never known before and it expands our eyesight by informing us with lots of new things that we cannot gain from our common life or experience. If one has never seen the mystic pyramid and the grandiose Statue of Liberty, it doesn't matter, television will offer the vivid images of the construction. With television, we can enjoy concerts and talk shows highly in the couch at home. Without television, we may be trapped in a close world.

However, I disagree with the statement because watching TV may turn into an action of wasting time, for two reasons. First, this is an era filled with advertisement, soap opera and commercial programs, for television stations operate as profit enterprises and they are profited-based. Second, though some TV programs make sense, we can hardly be provided with the information which we need immediately.

Finally, perhaps most importantly, books involve the knowledge of all fields, that is, books are the summarization and reflection of the practice and the experience of ancestors, and they are also the exhibition of modern civilization. Television just like a fast food of spirit, cannot involve profound knowledge of all fields. On the contrary, we can get the imperative information such as science, politics, culture and humanity at any time by consulting the relevant books just an arm's reach away.

In sum, I concede that television is of importance in modern society. Nevertheless, to some extant, the speaker's claim overrates the importance of television. In the final analysis, the role that books play is still irreplaceable.
第一次 issue，少了点

[ 本帖最后由 joochang 于 2006-11-17 20:26 编辑 ]

feibingxUID: 2212956

The speaker asserts that reading books is not as significant as it once was, and people can learn as much as by watching television as they can by reading, and （没有必要把这两句话连起来吧，句号句掉另起一句比较好） I agree insofar as television becomes an （a） more and more important part in our lives. However, the assertion is indefensible. In my view, reading is always a （an） indispensable component which we need in daily life.

The assertion that television plays a significant part is quite compelling. Indisputably, television provides us a myriad of information which we have never known before and it （it不要句子更漂亮） expands our eyesight by informing us with lots of new things （subjects更好一点 ） that we cannot gain from our common life or experience.（这句长句写的很漂亮） If one has never seen the mystic pyramid and the grandiose Statue of Liberty, it doesn't matter, television will offer the vivid images of the construction. With television, we can enjoy concerts and talk shows highly in the couch at home. Without television, we may be trapped in a close world. （整段论述了tv的重要性，但是tv的重要性与主题的关系论述的不够）

However, I disagree with the statement because watching TV may turn into an action of wasting time, for two reasons.（是否拆成两句这样更好一些：I disagree with the statement that people could learn by television as much as they can by books. After all, watching TV may turn into an action of wasting time because of two reasons following.） First, this is an era filled with advertisement, soap opera and commercial programs, for （是因为的意思？） television stations operate （run, work） as profit （profiting） enterprises and they are（being） profited-based. Second, though（although） some TV programs make sense（）, we can hardly be provided with the information which we （really） need immediately （at the moment 或者把immediately放到前面去）.

Finally, perhaps most importantly, books involve the knowledge of all fields, that is（which means, 或者还是拆成两句）, books are the summarization and reflection of the practice and the experience of ancestors,and they are also（可以不要） the exhibition of modern civilization.（也是很漂亮的句子）  Television （,） just like a fast food of spirit, cannot（is impossible to, cannot太弱了点） involve profound knowledge of all fields. On the contrary, we can get the imperative information such as science, politics, culture and humanity at any time by consulting the relevant books just an arm's reach away.（段末可以再总结一下，点一下主题句，说书是多么多么重要的）

In sum, I concede that television is of importance in modern society. Nevertheless, to some extant, the speaker's claim overrates the importance of television. In the final analysis, the role that books play is still irreplaceable.（+ People are able to learn much more by reading books than by watch television）

总的来说还算不错，有几句比较出彩的句子显出功力，段落的主体也比较鲜明。但是也还有有一些问题，比如各段的分析与主题衔接的不是很好，各段之间的过渡略显生硬，例子有点弱。

[ 本帖最后由 feibingx 于 2006-11-18 11:21 编辑 ]

joochangUID: 2265219

段落的过渡
的确需要加强，谢谢修改！