Issue51 [米国有米]第二次作业,

blackswitchUID: 2110679

ISSUE 51
提纲：1 兴趣是促进个人学习的重要因素
      2 但完全按照兴趣来制定教育计划在现阶段是不可行的，一方面因为教育资源是有限的，一方面是因为没有有效的方法能够调查到每个学生的真正所需。
      3 即使可以按照每个学生的兴趣和爱好来制定教育计划，这种做法也不利于培养全面发展的学生。
      4 为了保证培养有完备的知识结构的学生，又能够激发学生的学习兴趣和潜能，我认为学校可以开设必修课和选修课的方法来实现。

Which educational system will be truly effective? The speaker asserts that education designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student is truly effective. On the surface, this may seem a sound suggestion, but careful weighing on the mind, we find that this solution is not available to all individual students and this educational system may be apart from the ultimate aim of education, though students will be mostly motivated to study in this education system.

  Admittedly, interests play an important role in students’ studying. As a proverb said interest is the best teacher. The more greatly you are interested in the subject, the more effectively you study it. Therefore, in an educational system which meets specific needs and interests, students will be more encouraged to study and develop their distinct potential and talent fully.

However, It is not feasible to design a specific educational plan for every student at the present time. First, the educational resource are so limited –generally one teacher would teach hundreds even thousands of students-that we can not allocate adequate teachers or educator to investigate every student’s need and interest. Secondly, not every student has a clear idea about what he/she is interested in and what he/she needs. Especially, for pupils, who only have few experience of studying, it is difficult to realize their actual needs and interests. In addition, each student’s interests may change along with time. A student who originally does not like singing may come into enjoying singing when his/her performance in a party was praised greatly by others. So, the dreaming of designed a special education for each student according to his/her needs and interests can not come true in current social condition.

Even if we can design a unique education for every student, this education system has a danger in developing full-developed students who are the ones the society actually needs. Because when students only study the material they are interested in, they certainly lack some essential knowledge in some discipline which would be useful in their future works. Developing students who master comprehensive knowledge and have integrated knowledge framework is the main purpose of education. But, a education system which fully meet each student’s specific needs and interests may induce some students to have profound understanding in some fields but to be blind in other fields. Thus, this educational system can not realize the truly aim of the general education.

In order to not only motivate students study hard but also educate having integral knowledge framework students, I think the school can try to offer selective courses which students can choose randomly according to their interests and needs and compulsory courses which can guarantee students have basic knowledge of every subject. Another point I want to address is that interests can change and can be intrigued. To encourage students to study effectively, in one hand, the educators should try their best to meet the students’ needs and interests ,in another hand, the educator should intrigued students’ interesting by adopting abundant forms of teaching.

In sum, although students would be likely to more enjoy their studying and more encouraged in education system which meet each student’s specific needs and interests, this education system is not available and can not foster having all-sided knowledge students. Therefore, in my opinion, education should first assure each student mater the foundational knowledge of very subjects then try its best to meet each individual’s needs and interests.

[ 本帖最后由 blackswitch 于 2006-11-24 19:12 编辑 ]

cckantUID: 2247822

Which educational system will be truly effective? The speaker asserts that education designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student is truly effective. On the surface, this may seem a sound suggestion, but careful weighing on the mind, we 感觉用I好点，北美书上是用I的，毕竟只有一个作者 find that this solution is not available to all individual students all individuals or all students and this educational system may be apart from the ultimate aim of education, though students will be mostly motivated to study in this education system. 开头的观点概括很明晰

  Admittedly, interests play an important role in students’ studying, as a proverb says interest is the best teacher. The more greatly you are interested in the subject, the more effectively you study it. Therefore, in an educational system which meets specific needs and interests, students will be more encouraged to study and develop their distinct potential and talent fully.简略得当，有谚语点缀，不错

However, It is not feasible to design a specific educational plan for every student at the present time. First, the educational resource are so limited –generally one teacher would teach hundreds even thousands of students-that we can not allocate adequate teachers or educator to investigate every student’s need and interest. Secondly, not every student has a clear idea about what he/she is interested in and what he/she needs. Especially, for pupils, who only have few experience of studying, it is difficult to realize their actual needs and interests. In addition, each student’s interests may change along with growth (time 似乎没有一个方向性). A student who originally does not like singing may come into enjoying singing when his/her performance in a party was praised greatly by others 这个例子只强调了外部环境的转换，一个强调随着时间年龄或者际遇之类的例子或许能更好的帮助论据. So, the dreaming of designed a special education for each student according to his/her needs and interests can not come true in current social condition.

Even if we can design a unique curriculum for every student, this education system has a danger in developing insufficient full-developed students who are the ones the society actually needs. Because when students only study the material they are interested in, they certainly lack some essential knowledge in some discipline which would be useful in their future works. Developing students who master comprehensive knowledge and have integrated knowledge framework is the main purpose of education. But, an education system which fully meet each student’s specific needs and interests may induce some students to have profound understanding in some fields but to be blind in other fields. Thus, this educational system can not realize the truly aim of the general education.

In order to not only motivate students to study hard but also educate having integral knowledge framework students, I think the school can try to offer selective courses which students can choose on their discretion according to their interests and needs and compulsory courses which can guarantee students have basic knowledge for every subject. Another point I want to address is that interests can change and can be intrigued. To encourage students to study effectively, in one hand, the educators should try their best to meet the students’ needs and interests ,in another hand, the educator should intrigued students’ interests by adopting abundant forms of teaching.

In sum, although students would be likely to more enjoy their studying and more encouraged in education system which meet each student’s specific needs and interests, this education system is not available and can not foster students with all-sided knowledge. Therefore, in my opinion, an education should first assure each student master the foundational knowledge for very subjects then try its best to meet each individual’s needs and interests.

Comment:
1.        语言简练清晰
2.        提纲的逻辑发展很自然紧密，全文也很很好的围绕住提纲展开。
3.        关于最后一个论点，由于国外从高中开始就已经实行选修制，鉴于改卷的是美国人，也许可以侧重于讨论如何平衡选修必修的比重和教学资源分配，或者必修课的选择，
4.        水平有限，改错了请多多指正。总的来讲，觉得这篇文章写得不错。

[ 本帖最后由 cckant 于 2006-11-25 20:28 编辑 ]

foroneUID: 2273159

  Which educational system will be truly effective? The speaker asserts that education designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student is truly effective. On the surface, this may seem a sound suggestion, but careful[however,after carefully] weighing on the mind, we find that this solution is not available to all individual students and this educational system may be apart from the ultimate aim of education, though students will be mostly motivated to study in this education system.  
  Admittedly, interests play an important role in students’ studying. As a proverb said[says] interest is the best teacher[要加引号的]. The more greatly you are interested in the subject, the more effectively you study it. Therefore, in an educational system which meets specific needs and interests, students will be more encouraged to study and develop their distinct potential and talent fully.
  However, It is not feasible to design a specific educational plan for every student at the present time. First[不能这样用,要么firstly要么first of all], the educational resource are so limited –generally one teacher would teach hundreds even thousands of students-that we can not allocate adequate teachers or educator to investigate every student’s need and interest. Secondly, not every student has a clear idea about what he/she is interested in and what he/she needs. Especially, for pupils, who only have few experience of studying, it is difficult to realize their actual needs and interests. In addition, each student’s interests may change along with time. A student who originally does not like singing may come into enjoying singing when his/her performance in a party was praised greatly by others. So, the dreaming of designed a special education for each student according to his/her needs and interests can not come true in current social condition.
句子之间过渡写得和好,但个人感觉这段理由有点牵强,还有小错误比较多,不一一纠正了
  Even if we can design a unique education for every student, this education system has a danger in developing full-developed students who are the ones the society actually needs. Because when students only study the material they are interested in, they certainly lack some essential knowledge in some discipline which would be useful in their future works. Developing students who master comprehensive knowledge and have integrated knowledge framework is the main purpose of education. But, a education system which fully meet each student’s specific needs and interests may induce some students to have profound understanding in some fields but to be blind in other fields[好句]. Thus, this educational system can not realize the truly aim of the general education.
  In order to not only motivate students study hard but also educate having integral knowledge framework students, I think[suggest之类的更好,比较书面] the school can try to offer selective courses which students can choose randomly according to their interests and needs and compulsory courses which can guarantee students have basic knowledge of every subject. Another point I want to address is that interests can change and can be intrigued. To encourage students to study effectively, in one hand, the educators should try their best to meet the students’ needs and interests ,in another hand, the educator should intrigued students’ interesting by adopting abundant forms of teaching.[感觉有点重复,放在这里不太妥当,作结尾不错,一段话不要掺杂多个观点]

  In sum, although students would be likely to more enjoy their studying and more encouraged in education system which meet each student’s specific needs and interests[有语病], this education system is not available and can not foster having all-sided knowledge students. Therefore, in my opinion, education should first assure[必须要加that] each student mater[masters] the foundational knowledge of very [various]subjects then try its best to meet each individual’s needs and interests.
结尾句总结很完美
从全文来看,对这个问题分析得挺到位,单复数动词用法欠妥,毕竟这么短时间写出这么长的文章难免会出错,相信习作者经过用心注意能很快改善.
个人建议多看GRE阅读文章学习好句子及句子的变化

blackswitchUID: 2110679

谢谢大家的用心修改，好感动！ 我一定努力改进