issue150 请指教（12月作文高强组）

一月一号UID: 2148376

1.      It seems that we do not need to visit somewhere we already become familiar with by television and computer connections.
2.       People want to visit places more which they familiar.
3.       the television can help people familiar with someplace ordinary people cannot visit.


TOPIC: ISSUE150 - "Because of television and worldwide computer connections, people can now become familiar with a great many places that they have never visited. As a result, tourism will soon become obsolete."
WORDS: 540          TIME: 1:06:19          DATE: 2006-11-24

  As in the age of information, people now can easily obtain whatever information they want with the advent of the television and internet. We are not bound to where we are and can be familiar with a great many places that we have never visited be the access of television and worldwide computer connection. It seems that we do not need spent more time and expense to visit and therefore the tourism will soon become obsolete. However, it is the accessible information and the acquaintances of the places make the tourism more flourish.

  Due to the television and worldwide computer connection, we can obtain the information about any places in the world just by simply turning on the television and changing to the channel or a clicking of the mouse. We are able to “visit" Paris, Hawaii, or Egypt in the television with the guide of a most professional professor or the guide. We can gain a comprehensive and accurate description of them and become quite familiar with them. Their history, custom, and culture would be all presented in the front of us and it seems that we do not need to visit the places we already become familiar with and thus the tourisms will soon become obsolete.

  However, the strange point is that the tourism has become more flourishing than before and travel become in fashion now. For example, the number of people who go out and travel is increasing every year, so is the profits of the tourism. What can account for this increasing growth is that it is the access of the information of the visiting place make people want to visit the places that attract them on the television or internet. More people get familiar with the beautiful mountains, lakes or cities, the more they want visit themselves. What people expect from the travel is different from that used to be. The travelers in the old times travel to explore and discover what is unknown and still is mysterious to them.

On the contrary, people nowadays make a journey more intend to experience what they have already familiar with and to obtain a true appreciation of their favorites. Except some socialist and scientists, most people just expect the view they have learned on the television or by internet. Thus, the television and internet would not make the tourism obsolete but give property to it.
  In fact, if we watch the journey programs on the television, like Discovery, we may find that a great many of places they introduce are such kind of places forbidding for ordinary people. We may be amazed by the fantastic view in the South Pole of the earth, but most of us still cannot visit there whether we are familiar with it. The acquaintance of it through the television or the internet surely would make this kind of tourism obsolete.

  In conclusion, I do not agree with the notion above that the tourism would soon become obsolete as a result that people become familiar with the places they never visited by the television and the worldwide computer connections. On the contrary, with the accessible path to the information of the tour, people would like to go out and visit place themselves.

扁舟子001UID: 204048

1.      It seems that we do not need to visit somewhere we already become familiar with by television and computer connections.
2.       People want to visit places more which they familiar(familiar一般做形容词).
3.       the （电视前面一般不加the吧）television can help people familiar with someplace ordinary people cannot visit.


TOPIC: ISSUE150 - "Because of television and worldwide computer connections, people can now become familiar with a great many places that they have never visited. As a result, tourism will soon become obsolete."
WORDS: 540          TIME: 1:06:19          DATE: 2006-11-24

  As in the age of information, people now can easily obtain whatever information they want with the advent of the television and internet. We are not bound to where we are and can be familiar with a great many places that we have never visited be the access of television and worldwide computer connection（这句感觉不顺。你要表达的意思是不论我们在哪，通过电视和网络连接，我们都能获得我们曾未去过的城市的相关信息，是这样吗？建议再想一想，总觉得读起来不是很舒服。） It seems that we do not need(直接把need用作情态动词呢？) spent more time and expense to visit and therefore the tourism will soon become obsolete. However, it is the accessible information and the acquaintances of the places make the tourism more flourish.

  Due to the television and worldwide computer connection, we can obtain the information about any places in the world just by simply turning on the television and changing to the channel or a（a可以去掉） clicking（这里并列的turning/changing都是动词，后面的clicking变成了动名词？） of the mouse. We are able to “visit" Paris, Hawaii, or Egypt in the television with the guide of a most professional professor or the guide（前面有一个guide，怎么又来一个guide？）. We can gain a comprehensive and accurate description of them and become quite familiar with them. Their history, custom, and culture would be all presented in the front of us and it seems that we do not need to visit the places we already become familiar with and thus the tourisms will soon become obsolete.

  However, the strange point（可以改成现象之类的词语） is that the tourism has become more flourishing than before(ever还是before) and travel become in fashion now. For example, the number of people who go out and travel is increasing every year, so is the profits of the tourism. What can account for this increasing growth is that it is the access of the information of the visiting place make people want to visit the places that attract them on the television or internet. More people get familiar with the beautiful mountains, lakes or cities, the more they want visit themselves. What people expect from the travel is different from that used to be. The travelers in the old times travel to explore and discover what is unknown and still is mysterious to them.(那现在主要的旅游目的是什么呢？特别是在拥有丰富的景点资料的情况下？建议可以展开一下)

On the contrary, people nowadays make a journey more intend to experience what they have already familiar with and to obtain a true appreciation of their favorites（原来你是在这一段展开）. Except some socialist and scientists, most people just expect the view they have learned on the television or by internet. Thus, the television and internet would not make the tourism obsolete but give property to it.
  In fact, if we watch the journey programs on the television, like Discovery, we may find that a great many of places they introduce are such kind of places forbidding for ordinary people. We may be amazed by the fantastic view in the South Pole of the earth, but most of us still cannot visit there whether we are familiar with it. The acquaintance of it through the television or the internet surely would make this kind of tourism obsolete（意思就是过过干隐也行）.

  In conclusion, I do not agree with the notion above that the tourism would soon become obsolete as a result that people become familiar with the places they never visited by the television and the worldwide computer connections. On the contrary, with the accessible path to the information of the tour, people would like to go out and visit place themselves.

也许是时间的问题，后面的论证好像不是很清晰。语言方面也许需要稍微改进一下，个别句子有点难懂。