issue141 请指教（12月作文高强组）

一月一号UID: 2148376

部分同意
1．  We need conformity in some aspects, like conformity with the law and the custom of the society.
2．  However, the personal economic success requires one’s intelligence, hard work and interpersonal skills, and does not have much relationship with the conformity. To gain the personal economic success, the novel creation is needed but conformity.


TOPIC: ISSUE141 - "Most people recognize the benefits of individuality, but the fact is that personal economic success requires conformity."
WORDS: 406          TIME: 0:53:21          DATE: 2006-11-25

  As a participator in the society, we do need conformity to survive in this world and to gain personal economic success. However, as a individual, most people recognize the benefits of her/his own.  It is not wise to conclude that the personal economic success requires conformity, but we should inspect it in various aspects.
In fact, because the human beings are social animals, everyone needs to conformity with the laws, custom of the society, which is the basic requirement to live in the society. If we do not obey these basic rules, we can hardly expect to lead free lives and then the personal economic success.  Someone maybe argue that the criminals like kidnappers, bank robbers, who seems can own large amount of money by breaking this kind of conformity. However, this is the only rare case and few of them can escape from the punishments of justice.  Further, people often make money by providing improvements and convenience to people's lives. For instance, the former richest person of the world, Bill Gates, gained his success due to that his software does much help to the computer development and meets the conformity of most people's needs. Further, in the risky investment fields, it seems that what we need to pay attention are just our benefits, in which one's benefit means the lost of another. However, people are competing in the conformity of the same rules. Therefore, for most of us, personal economic success required conformity with the basic rules and ethics of the society.
  However, the personal economic success has little relationship with the conformity but one's intelligence, industrious working, and interpersonal skills. Meanwhile, we even have to break some conformity to pursue the personal economic success. The success attributes mostly to the commitment to the work, the intelligence and the emotional quality. Besides these, what make we different and stand out of the masses of competitors is our creation and the difference with others. We can find countless examples that the economic successful person did something special and not always was uniform. The success of the Bill Gates can also illustrate this point. It is his software, which is novel and not sold by others before him, contributes most to his wealth. Thus, the personal economic success does not require conformity in this sense.
  To conclude, it is not proper for us to conclude that the personal economic success requires conformity without limiting the aspects.

这篇issue是我写的最难展开的一篇，写了400字实在说不出来了，请问下大家是怎么破题的？

sherry1225UID: 2192554

As a participator in the society, we do need conformity to survive in this world and to gain personal economic success. However, as a individual, most people recognize the benefits of her/his own.(这句的意思也不是很清楚,且在论证中好象没有提到)  It is not wise to conclude that the personal economic success requires conformity, but we should inspect it in various aspects.
In fact, because the(the 去掉) human beings are social animals, everyone needs to conformity with the laws, custom of the society, which is(are) the basic requirement to live in the society. If we do not obey these basic rules, we can hardly expect to lead free lives and then the personal economic success.  Someone maybe argue that the criminals like kidnappers, bank robbers, who seems(seem) can own large amount of money by breaking this kind of conformity. However, this is(these are) the only rare case(cases) and few of them can escape from the punishments of justice.  Further, people often make money by providing improvements and convenience to people's lives. For instance, the former richest person of the world, Bill Gates, gained his success due to that his software does much help to the computer development and meets the conformity of most people's needs. Further, in the risky investment fields, it seems that what we need to pay attention are just our benefits, in which one's benefit means the lost of another. However, people are competing in the conformity of the same rules. Therefore, for most of us, personal economic success required conformity with the basic rules and ethics of the society.(这一段感觉有点乱,比尔盖次的例子是说conform to human need 与主题句好象关系不大)
  However, the personal economic success has little relationship with the conformity but one's intelligence, industrious working, and interpersonal skills. Meanwhile, we even have to break some conformity to pursue the personal economic success. The success attributes mostly to the commitment to the work, the intelligence and the emotional quality. Besides these, what make we different and stand out of the masses of competitors is our creation and the difference with(from) others. We can find countless examples that the economic successful person did something special and not always was uniform. The success of the Bill Gates can also illustrate this point. It is his software, which is novel and not sold by others before him, contributes most to his wealth. Thus, the personal economic success does not require conformity in this sense.
  To conclude, it is not proper for us to conclude that the personal economic success requires conformity without limiting the aspects(这句没看懂),结尾是不是太短了
conformity在一定程度上也可以理解为合作,从这个点上去写就好展开了,可以比较独立与合作