Argument65 graduate06--Hamming组 自己的第6篇Argument.

graduate06UID: 2223299

65.

The following appeared in a memo from the president of a chain of cheese stores located throughout the United States.

"For many years all the stores in our chain have stocked a wide variety of both domestic and imported cheeses. Last year, however, the five best-selling cheeses at our newest store were all domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin. Furthermore, a recent survey by Cheeses of the World magazine indicates an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers. Since our company can reduce expenses by limiting inventory, the best way to improve profits in all of our stores is to discontinue stocking many of our varieties of imported cheese and concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses."

很多年来我们的所有连锁店都储备了很多种类的国产奶酪和进口奶酪。然而去年，我们的最新店里五种销量最高的奶酪都是威斯康星出产的cheddar奶酪。而且，最近一次由Cheese of the World杂志所举行的调查显示，其订阅者对于国产奶酪的倾向性越来越高。由于我们公司可以通过限制库存来减少开支，在我们所有连锁店增加盈利的最好方式就是停止贮备很多进口奶酪而主要集中于国产奶酪。

漏洞：
1.差异概念：  最新店的销售状况=/=  所以店的销售状况

2.Survey：respondents问题, they cannot be representative of all the consumers in the country

3.Incomplete thoughts: 利与弊 profits: revenue and cost

正文：
WORDS: 425          TIME: 33:00          DATE: 2006-12-7

The argument's conclusion that the best way to improve the profits of the chain of cheese stores is to reducing the storage of imported cheeses seems to be an apparent conclusion at first glance. However, careful scrutiny of the evidence and the president's reasoning find that the president provides little credible support to the conclusion. First, the president assumes the situation of sale of the newest stores amounts to all the other stores of the chain. In addition, the reliability of the survey is open to doubt. The president also commits a fallacy of incomplete thought. I will discuss each of the facets in turn.

To begin with, the president falsely assumes that the best-selling cheeses at the newest stores, which are domestic cheeses, were sold well in any other stores of the chain. We are not informed that the fact is indeed like this. It is entirely possible that the newest store was built in Wisconsin and the local residents were font of the cheddar cheeses, so the domestic cheeses sold best in this store. If this is the case, any reasoning that the consumers throughout the country would buy the domestic is indefensible.

Even assuming that the domestic cheeses were sold very well in other stores of the chain, the argument relies on the further assumption that the survey is reliable. The author assumes that the opinion of subscribers of Cheeses of the World magazine can be representative of all the citizens in the country. Without such evidence, it is equally possible that the magazine is a regional periodical. Perhaps, even its subscribers cannot be representative of all the regional customers, let alone the whole country.

Even if the survey is credible, the argument's conclusion that the best method to improve the profits is to limiting the imported cheeses' storing remains untenable. In all likelihood, the profits are a function of the cost and revenue. It is quite possible that there are only one or two companied produce the cheeses and the price is very high. If so, then the costs might prevent the chain’s stores from a profit. Thus, without considering and ruling out these reasons the president cannot convince me that the conclusion is unpersuasive.

In sum, the argument, while it seems logical at first, has several fallacies as discussed above. To bolster the argument the president would have to provide that the domestic cheeses were sold well in all stores of the chain. To better evaluate the argument we would need to know more detailed information of the survey. We also need to know that the cost for domestic cheeses （多一个of，打错） much less than the revenue.

时间还是有点紧，最后结尾，没能最好的展现出来。继续努力！

[ 本帖最后由 graduate06 于 2006-12-7 07:51 编辑 ]

Xin_2007UID: 2275521

[ 本帖最后由 Xin_2007 于 2006-12-10 04:21 编辑 ]

Xin_2007UID: 2275521

The argument's conclusion that the best way to improve the profits of the chain of cheese stores is to reducing the storage of imported cheeses seems to be an apparent conclusion at first glance. However, careful scrutiny of the evidence and the president's reasoning find that the president provides little credible support to the conclusion. First, the president assumes the situation（词比较大） of sale of the newest stores amounts to all the other stores of the chain. In addition, the reliability of the survey is open to doubt. The president also commits a fallacy of incomplete thought. I will discuss each of the facets in turn.

To begin with, the president falsely assumes that the best-selling cheeses at the newest stores, which are domestic cheeses, were sold well in any other stores of the chain. We are not informed that the fact is indeed like this. It is entirely possible that the newest store was built in Wisconsin and the local residents were font of the cheddar cheeses, so the domestic cheeses sold best in this store. If this is the case, any reasoning that the consumers throughout the country would buy the domestic is indefensible.

Even assuming that the domestic cheeses were sold very well in other stores of the chain, the argument relies on the further assumption that the survey is reliable. The author assumes that the opinion of subscribers of Cheeses of the World magazine can be representative of all the citizens in the country. Without such evidence, it is equally possible that the magazine is a regional periodical. Perhaps, even its subscribers cannot be representative of all the regional customers, let alone the whole country. （很好！严谨！）

Even if the survey is credible, the argument's conclusion that the best method to improve the profits is to limiting（limite） the imported cheeses' storing remains untenable. In all likelihood, the profits are a function of the cost and revenue.（我不太理解这句话） It is quite possible that there are only one or two companied （companies）produce the cheeses and the price is very high. If so, then the costs might prevent the chain’s stores from a profit. Thus, without considering and ruling out these reasons the president cannot convince me that the conclusion is unpersuasive.

In sum, the argument, while it seems logical at first, has several fallacies as discussed above. To bolster the argument the president would have to provide that the domestic cheeses were sold well in all stores of the chain.（有些强词之嫌  all 比较难于证明） To better evaluate the argument we would need to know more detailed information of the survey. We also need to know that the cost for domestic cheeses （多一个of，打错） much less than the revenue.
  

可以看出来，你的这两篇文章出于一个模子，很清晰，当然两个都看了之后发现格式化痕迹很重，你的逻辑错误主要集中在论据的不确实的质疑上，而对于可以深挖的盈利因素谈的较少，无疑是一个损失。

graduate06UID: 2223299

我又改了下：

The argument's conclusion that the best way to improve the profits of the chain of cheese stores is to reducing the storage of imported cheeses seems to be an apparent conclusion at first glance. However, careful scrutiny of the evidence and the president's reasoning find that the president provides little credible support to the conclusion. First, the president assumes the sales situation（上网搜了下，应该用这个）of the newest stores amounts to all the other stores of the chain. In addition, the reliability of the survey is open to doubt. The president also commits a fallacy of incomplete thought. I will discuss each of the facets in turn.

To begin with, the president falsely assumes that the best-selling cheeses at the newest stores, which are domestic cheeses, were sold well in any other stores of the chain. We are not informed that the fact is indeed like this. It is entirely possible that the newest store was built in Wisconsin and the local residents were font of the cheddar cheeses, so the domestic cheeses sold best in this store. If this is the case, any reasoning that the consumers throughout the country would buy the domestic is indefensible.

Even assuming that the domestic cheeses were sold very well in other stores of the chain, the argument relies on the further assumption that the survey is reliable. The author assumes that the opinion of subscribers of Cheeses of the World magazine can be representative of all the citizens in the country. Without such evidence, it is equally possible that the magazine is a regional periodical. Perhaps, even its subscribers cannot be representative of all the regional customers, let alone the whole country. （很好！严谨！）
Even if the survey is credible, the argument's conclusion that the best method to improve the profits is to limit the imported cheeses' storing remains untenable. In all likelihood, the profits are a function of the cost and revenue.（我不太理解这句话，北美范文的句子，也就是说利润是成本和收入的函数，也就是说profits取决于cost and revenue）It is quite possible that there are only one or two companies produce the cheeses and the price is very high. If so, then the costs might prevent the chain’s stores from a profit. Thus, without considering and ruling out these reasons the president cannot convince me that the conclusion is unpersuasive.

In sum, the argument, while it seems logical at first, has several fallacies as discussed above. To bolster the argument the president would have to provide that the domestic cheeses were sold well most of the stores of the chain.（有些强词之嫌  all 比较难于证明,改了） To better evaluate the argument we would need to know more detailed information of the survey. We also need to know that the cost for domestic cheeses much less than the revenue.
  

可以看出来，你的这两篇文章出于一个模子，很清晰，当然两个都看了之后发现格式化痕迹很重，你的逻辑错误主要集中在论据的不确实的质疑上，而对于可以深挖的盈利因素谈的较少，无疑是一个损失。

谢谢你的建议！:)

回复：论据漏洞是这篇的主要漏洞之一，这篇的最主要的漏洞如下：
差异概念：  最新店的销售状况=/=  所以店的销售状况

Survey：respondents问题, they cannot be representative of all the consumers in the country

Incomplete thoughts: 利与弊 profits: revenue and cost
我对这些进行了攻击，但是，正如你所言，有些没有深入展开，我看了多遍PP3的6分范文，确实里面针对一些点分析得较细，当前阶段我还差些，我会努力在这些方面加强！！我给你回的邮件里面谈了些关于漏洞的问题，请看一下！！

[ 本帖最后由 graduate06 于 2006-12-10 08:51 编辑 ]