Issue43 米国有米小组第四次作业 请猛批吧~~~~~

ernest81888UID: 2247639

43. "To be an effective leader, a public official must maintain the highest ethical and moral standards." （政治类）

提纲:

开头： 让步

层次一：肯定道德标准对OFFICIAL的重要性

理由1---有其的利

理由2---无其的弊

层次二：让步说明，要做有效率，不需要一定保持最高的伦理和道德标准

理由1--集体利益

理由2--有道德标准和效率是competitive.需要一个balance

层次三：做一个有效率的公仆，还需要其他方面的能力

结尾： 首尾呼应

        With the development of modern society, people live in the world care more about effectiveness. To be a public official, especially, as a leader of people, some recommended that one must maintain the highest ethical and moral standards which could lead to effective. Although, it might be an important element for an official to possess the merit and then make an effective decision, I can still not totally agree with it. With a full view of real world, it seems that the recommend is highly extreme as well as a hasty suggestion.

        Admittedly, high ethical and moral standard plays a vital role for public official. In human's history, those who helped others to go where they've decided to go, who helped others to use themselves creatively, who forgot about themselves as a leader and focused on the people's needs and goals, often showed their best leadship then contributed the effect to the society as a great impetus for development of culture. Official leader is a servant of public. Having high ethical and moral standard, a leader will firstly think of the people, love people, concern about what people really needed, give people great convenience in their making a live. On the other hands, lacking of high moral standards, the official might only care about himself. Those officials largely are individualism. I can not imagine whether these people's pubic decision is benefit to society or not. As history verified, defalcation, bribery, and other illegal behavior is found on these maintain low ethical and moral standard.

        However, to be a effect governor or official, it is impossible for them that they must maintain highest ethical and moral standard. In some condition, it is necessary for officials give up their moral standard like sacrifice partial interest in order to make a greater advantage for the most. For example, commonly, when government needs to construct a high-way or a subway for people, this will need some of the people live in the area destruct their old house. Possibly some of these people will oppose to do that. As it is now wildly done, the government will firstly try to persuade them, but if failed, they will force to destruct their house. At first glance, the behavior of official might seems lack of ethical and moral standard. People might think how can government destruct people’s provide possession. But to think it over, this action keep the interest of most thus it should be considered right. The moral goal of a leader is balancing the needs of individual and the community not concern about everyone's interests .Another reason that I think it is impossible for public official maintains highest moral standard is because there is a competitive relationship between effectiveness and the mentioned standard. To be effective, one need give up some moral standard. To be highest ethical and moral standard, one need sacrifice the effectivenes.Officials are recommended to make a balance.

        Besides, an effective leader is asked to contain more merit. To act effective, one should have an insight view when it comes to government construction. Regarding investment, officials should also have a skill of negotiating. As for tax, one is hoped contain the best measurement for different class of people. All these I mentioned above definitely contribute to the effectiveness of government decision.

        In sum, a high ethical and moral standard can be successful for official make a right regulation for people, and it may lead to effectiveness. However, it also has the disadvantage when government is required maintain highest standard. The optimal approach is to make a balance between the two. It will also be helpful for truly effectiveness, a public official are asked have other merit besides moral and ethical standard.

[ 本帖最后由 ernest81888 于 2006-12-10 00:28 编辑 ]

foroneUID: 2273159

不好意思,起先看错互改对象了,改晚了请谅解

With the development of modern society, people live in the world care more about effectiveness. To be a public official, especially, as a leader of people, some recommended that one must maintain the highest ethical and moral standards which could lead to effective[要么to be  effective要么effectiveness]. Although, it might [象这个词,大家都爱用,作者考虑一下是否在这恰当呢]be an important element for an official to possess the merit and then make an effective decision, I can still not totally agree with it. With a full view of real world, it seems that the recommend is highly extreme as well as a hasty suggestion.[这句写得太平淡而且觉得可有可无]

        Admittedly, high ethical and moral standard plays a vital role for public official. In human's history, those who helped others to go where they've decided to go, who helped others to use themselves creatively, who forgot about themselves as a leader and focused on the people's needs and goals, often showed their best leadship then contributed the effect to the society as a great impetus for development of culture[作者这句话很乱—排比句式好,但是各句词汇要用得优美点]. Official leader is a servant of public[觉得老美肯定不会这么说,leaders demonstrate a kind of parentship to the public不知道这样行不行]. Having high ethical and moral standard, a leader will firstly think of the people, love people, concern about what people really needed, give people great convenience in their making a live. [这句也乱,至少动词并列也要有个and来连接啊]On the other hands[hand], lacking of high moral standards, the official might only care about himself. Those officials largely are individualism. I can not imagine whether these people's pubic decision is benefit to society or not. As history verified, defalcation, bribery, and other illegal behavior is found on these [those who]maintain low ethical and moral standard.

        However, to be a[an] effect governor or[完全可以去掉,反正都是leader] official, it is impossible for them that they must maintain highest ethical and moral standard[有点绝对而且语病太明显he should not always be keeping their highest ethical and moral standard]. In some condition, it is necessary for officials[to] give up their moral standard[,] like sacrifice[sacrificing] partial interest in order to make a greater advantage for the most. For example, commonly, when government needs to construct a high-way or a subway for people, this will need some of the people live in the area destruct their old house[又是有好多错的一句话]. Possibly some of these people will oppose to do that. As it is now wildly done, the government will firstly try to persuade them, but if failed, they will force to destruct their house. At first glance, the behavior of official might seems lack of ethical and moral standard. People might think how can government destruct people’s provide possession. But to think it over, this action keep the interest of most thus it should be considered right. The moral goal of a leader is balancing the needs of individual and the community not concern about everyone's interests .Another reason that I think it is impossible for public official maintains highest moral standard is because there is a competitive relationship between effectiveness and the mentioned standard. To be effective, one need give up some moral standard. To be highest ethical and moral standard, one need sacrifice the effectivenes.Officials are recommended to make a balance.

        Besides, an effective leader is asked to contain more merit. To act effective[要用副词形式], one should have an insight view when it comes to government construction. Regarding investment, officials should also have a skill of negotiating. As for tax, one is hoped contain the best measurement for different class of people. All these I mentioned above definitely contribute to the effectiveness of government decision.

        In sum, a high ethical and moral standard can be successful for official make a right regulation for people, and it may lead to effectiveness. However, it also has the disadvantage when government is required maintain highest standard. The optimal approach is to make a balance between the two. It will also be helpful for truly effectiveness, a public official are asked have other merit besides moral and ethical standard.

后面几段几乎每句都有问题,有单复数问题,动词形式问题,更重要的是句子表达不够准确清楚(作者先自己试着改改,自己改出来的映象会更深,有问题再PM我),这样即使你的观点再好考官也无法体会啊

总的来说,issue写作思路完全正确,问题也很明显--基本功不扎实,建议写文章先把要表达的意思说清楚然后再讲究语句的变化多样,不知道你是什么时候考作文,如果时间还充裕的话可以先考虑看看张道真的语法书(写出好句子必须先要有好句子如何构成的思想),课外补充点英语世界或新东方英语的文章,一个月下来就会有收获

[ 本帖最后由 forone 于 2006-12-11 17:03 编辑 ]