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[a习作temp] Argument76 (12月作文高强组——好好学习,天天作文) [复制链接]

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发表于 2006-12-12 16:52:14 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
TOPIC: ARGUMENT76 - The following appeared as part of an article in a health and beauty magazine.

"A group of volunteers participated in a study of consumer responses to the new Luxess face cream. Every morning for a month, they washed their faces with mild soap and then applied Luxess. At the end of that month, most volunteers reported a marked improvement in the way their skin looked and felt. Thus it appears that Luxess is truly effective in improving the condition of facial skin."
WORDS: 528          TIME: 0:50:00          DATE: 2006-12-12

The argument above is not convincing enough to persuade customers the good effects of Luxess. Because the study the author cites is suspicious and there is no any other scientific demonstration of the Luxess, we can hardly believe the author's seeming advertisement.

First, the sample of the study is not representative. As the author says, the samples of this study are volunteers and there are not any information about their ages and skin conditions. Thus, we cannot exclude the possibility that most volunteers are the employees of their company and to promote the sales of their products, they may disguise some negative effects of this new Luxess face cream. Even the volunteers do not have any profitable relationship with this company, they maybe the old customers of this band. They may be used to Luxess's products and hesitantly conclude that this new face cream is good for their skin. As we know, certain skin product is only suitable to a certain group people with same skin condition due to the variety of skin conditions in different people. It is at least likely that the volunteers are mainly composed of people aged above 50, so surely this products would not be effective maybe even harmful to people under 50.

Even if the sample is representative as the author assumes, the process of the study is full of problems. Whether the volunteers use other skin products during that month? Is the mid soap exerting any effects on their skin? If they only use Luxess face cream in the morning, what do they use in the evening? Whether the environments have changed during this month? As the improvement of skin can be ascribed to many reasons, the study sample should at least be divided into two groups between which the only difference is the use of Luxess face cream, if the author wants to demonstrate the effects of their products. Without answers to all these questions above and convincing study procedure, the author cannot convince us the effects of this new product.

Furthermore, the result of this study is too vague to specify the function of Luxess face cream. We cannot be informed the exact proportion of people who have improvement in the way their skin felt and looked. Just a vague word "many" is far from persuading the customers to buy their products. If the number of people participating in the study is very large, it is not curious that the author concludes that many people have good responses even when the proportion of good responses is very small.

In sum, this argument is not convincing as it stands. A problematic study and vague results would be of little avail. A scientific and authoritative process and specific description of this product are necessary to persuade customers to buy their products.


[ 本帖最后由 一月一号 于 2006-12-12 16:55 编辑 ]
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发表于 2006-12-12 22:50:11 |只看该作者
The argument above is not convincing enough to persuade customers (of) the good effects of Luxess. Because the study the author cites is suspicious and there is no any other scientific demonstration of the Luxess, we can hardly believe the author's seeming advertisement.

First, the sample of the study is not representative. (how do u know it? just possible)As the author says, the samples of this study are volunteers and there are not any information about their ages and skin conditions(决定sample代表性的还有很多, 建议加上and so forth). Thus, we cannot exclude the possibility that most volunteers are the employees of their company and to promote the sales of their products, they may disguise some negative effects of this new Luxess face cream. Even the volunteers do not have any profitable relationship with this company, they maybe the old customers of this band(company比较好). They may be used to Luxess's products and hesitantly conclude that this new face cream is good for their skin. As we know, certain skin product is only suitable to a certain group people with same skin condition due to the variety of skin conditions in different people. It is at least likely that the volunteers are mainly composed of people aged above 50, so surely this products would not be effective maybe even harmful to people under 50. (这个50的有点莫名, 因为划分的很绝对, 还不如说油性干性)


Even if the sample is representative as the author assumes, the process of the study is full of problems. Whether (do) the volunteers use other skin products during that month? Is the mid soap (Had...been) exerting any effects on their skin? If they only use Luxess face cream in the morning, what do they use in the evening? Whether the environments have changed during this month? As the improvement of skin can be ascribed to many reasons, the study sample should at least be divided into two groups between which the only difference is the use of Luxess face cream, if the author wants to demonstrate the effects of their products. Without answers to all these questions above and convincing study procedure, the author cannot convince us the effects of this new product.

Furthermore, the result of this study is too vague to specify the function of Luxess face cream. We cannot be (have not been) informed the exact proportion of people who have improvement in the way their skin felt and looked. Just a vague word "many" is far from persuading the customers to buy their products. If the number of people participating in the study is very large, it is not curious that the author concludes that many people have good responses even when the proportion of good responses is very small.

In sum, this argument is not convincing as it stands. A problematic study and vague results would be of little avail. A scientific and authoritative process and specific description of this product are necessary to persuade customers to buy their products.

整体来看基本已经可以去考试了 :) 早点开始限时训练吧

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RE: Argument76 (12月作文高强组——好好学习,天天作文) [修改]

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