Argument200 hugo010311--Hamming组

hugo010311UID: 2237388

TOPIC: ARGUMENT200 - Statistics collected from dentists indicate that three times more men than women faint while visiting the dentist. This evidence suggests that men are more likely to be distressed about having dental work done than women are. Thus, dentists who advertise to attract patients should target the male consumer and emphasize both the effectiveness of their anesthetic techniques and the sensitivity of their staff to nervous or suffering patients.
WORDS: 406          TIME: 0:44:15          DATE: 2006-12-12
提纲：
1．统计不可靠a.代表性b.样本数量
2．晕厥与容易感到痛楚之间无因果。
3．广告措施可能不会达到预期效果。
The author claims that dentists who advertise to attract patients should target the male consumer and emphasize both the effectiveness of their anesthetic techniques and the sensitivity of their staff to nervous or suffering patients. To support his conclusion, the author cites the statistics that three times more men than women faint while visiting the dentist. However, this argument contains several logical problems, which render it unconvincing.

First of all, the author provides no evidence that the statistics collected from dentists are representative of all the dentists' statistics. Lacking such evidence, it is entire possible that the statistics can only show the faint ratio between men and women among a small group of people. Or perhaps that the number of men who visit dentists is bigger than that of women and actually the ratio of faint between men and women is based on different base numbers. Without better evidence that the statistics is fairly reliable, the author cannot justifiablely rely on it to draw any general inference about dental patients.   

Moreover, even assuming that the statistics the author suggests is representative and reliable, it does not mean that men are more likely to be distressed about having dental work done than women are. Perhaps men and women distressed about having dental work done equally, yet men are more vulnerable to faint. For that matter, the claim that men are more likely to be distressed about having dental work done than women are is unwarranted.

Finally, the author fails to convince us that the suggestion that to target the male consumer and to emphasize both the effectiveness of their anesthetic techniques and the sensitivity of their staff to suffering patients is in fact effective to advertise to attract patients. The author ignores the possibility that the proposed action will have a opposite affect in that they pay so much more attention on men's distressing that men pay more too than before. The author must rule out the possibility before we can accept the recommendation.

To sum up, the argument cannot be taken seriously as it stands. To strengthen it, the author must convince us that the statistics he cites is fair and reliable, and he must also provide striking evidence that men are more likely to be distressed about having dental work done than women are. To better evaluate the argument we would need sufficient evidence that the advertising action would in fact achieve their intended result.

graduate06UID: 2223299

和北美分析漏洞一样，要注意用用词方面做好和他有点区别。:)

TOPIC: ARGUMENT200 - Statistics collected from dentists indicate that three times more men than women faint while visiting the dentist. This evidence suggests that men are more likely to be distressed about having dental work done than women are. Thus, dentists who advertise to attract patients should target the male consumer and emphasize both the effectiveness of their anesthetic techniques and the sensitivity of their staff to nervous or suffering patients.
WORDS: 406          TIME: 0:44:15          DATE: 2006-12-12
提纲：
1．统计不可靠a.代表性b.样本数量
2．晕厥与容易感到痛楚之间无因果。
3．广告措施可能不会达到预期效果。
The author claims that dentists who advertise to attract patients should target the male consumer and emphasize both the effectiveness of their anesthetic techniques and the sensitivity of their staff to nervous or suffering patients. To support his conclusion, the author cites the statistics that three times more men than women faint while visiting the dentist. However, this argument contains several logical problems, which render it unconvincing.
和我犯了同样的错，开头复述结论有些长了而且没有用paraphrase，想想办法，或不复述。

First of all, the author provides no evidence that the statistics collected from dentists are representative of all the dentists' statistics. Lacking such evidence, it is entire possible that the statistics can only show the faint ratio between men and women among a small group of people. Or perhaps that the number of men who visit dentists is bigger than that of women and actually the ratio of faint between men and women is based on different base numbers见过这样用的吗？查证. Without better evidence that the statistics are fairly reliable, the author cannot justifiablely rely on it to draw any general inference about dental patients.   

Moreover, even assuming that the statistics the author suggested is representative and reliable, it does not mean that men are more likely to be distressed about having dental work done than women are. Perhaps men and women distressed about having dental work done equally, yet men are more vulnerable to faint. For that matter, the claim that men are more likely to be distressed about having dental work done than women are is unwarranted.

这个他因不太好举，我用得也不太好，而且你只列了1个他因，略显单薄

Finally, the author fails to convince us that the suggestion that to target the male consumer and to emphasize both the effectiveness of their anesthetic techniques and the sensitivity of their staff to suffering patients is in fact effective to advertise to attract patients. 语法对，但是很不舒服，尝试改一下！The author ignores 与neglect的区别注意看一下the possibility that the proposed action will have a opposite affect in that they pay so much more attention on men's distressing that men pay more too than before. The author must rule out the possibility before we can accept the recommendation.

To sum up, the argument cannot be taken seriously as it stands. To strengthen it, the author must convince us that the statistics he cites is fair and reliable, and he must also provide striking evidence that men are more likely to be distressed about having dental work done than women are. To better evaluate the argument we would need sufficient evidence that the advertising action would in fact achieve their intended result.
结尾还是有点空，改进！

加油，挺不错的！

[ 本帖最后由 graduate06 于 2006-12-15 23:56 编辑 ]

hugo010311UID: 2237388

多谢指点！:handshake
The author claims that dentists who advertise to attract patients should target the male consumer.And to abate nerous or suffering patients' depression more effectively, emphasis should be put both on the effectiveness of their anesthetic techniques and the sensitivity of their staff . To support his conclusion, the author cites the statistics that three times more men than women faint while visiting the dentist. Close inspection of the evidence reveals, however, that it lends little credible support for the proposed course of action.
First of all, the author provides no evidence that the statistics collected from dentists are representative of all the dentists' statistics. Lacking such evidence, it is entire possible that the statistics can only show the faint ratio between men and women among a small group of people. Or perhaps that the number of men who visit dentists is bigger than that of women and actually the ratio of faint between men and women is based on different (base/cardinal number). Without better evidence that the statistics are fairly reliable, the author cannot justifiablely rely on it to draw any general inference about dental patients.   

Moreover, even assuming that the statistics the author suggested is representative and reliable, it does not mean that men are more likely to be distressed about having dental work done than women are. Perhaps men and women distressed about having dental work done equally, yet men are more vulnerable to faint inherently. And it is entirely probable that  men have an antipathy to dental work. For that matter, the claim that men are more likely to be distressed about having dental work done than women are is unwarranted.

Finally, the author fails to convince us that to advertise to attract patients effectively, it is indispensable to target the male consumer and to emphasize both the effectiveness of their anesthetic techniques and the sensitivity of the staffs. The author overlooks the possibility that the proposed action will have a opposite affect in that they pay so much more attention on men's distressing that men pay more too than before. The author must rule out the possibility before we can accept the recommendation.

To sum up, the argument cannot be taken seriously as it stands. To strengthen it, the author must convince us that the statistics he cites is fair and reliable. And after examing and ruling out other possibilities, more striking evidence that men are more likely to be distressed about having dental work done should be provided. To better evaluate the argument we would also need more sufficient evidence that the proposed course of  action would in fact achieve the intended result.




[ 本帖最后由 hugo010311 于 2006-12-16 11:20 编辑 ]