issue147 求狠拍

westlife007_huUID: 2270665

147"Tradition and modernization are incompatible. One must choose between them."


As the speaker asserts, tradition and modernization are to some degree incompatible that we have to choose one of them.However, in my point of view, tradition and modernization can not be substituted by each other in that they both play vital roles in the development of our world.We human being should seek for a balanced way to reconcile the paradox between tradition and modernization in order that they can both exist harmoniously.
                                                                        
Admittedly, on certain cases, it is true that we always have no other choice than to give up one of them facing the conflict between tradition and modernization in so far as they are totally different. For instance, when traditional feudalism confront with modern democratism,we choose the latter one because democratism stands for the progress but feudalism puts sands in the wheels of the development of society.When traditional carriage encounter modern cars,we choose the latter as well on account of the inherent convenience and high efficiency of cars. When traditional culture meet globization,we choose to sacrifice a part of our conventions so as to keep pace with the whole world. Therefore, neither could the speaker’s claim be unreasonable that tradition and modernization are incompatible.

However, we should not abandon either of them only depending on the reason that they might be incompatible. The two are both regarded as the essences which precipitate the advancement of society that abandoning any of them might mean a huge loss. For one thing, convention is the representive of the wisdom of our ancestors based on the long-term accumulation and inquiries in the history of hundreds of years. Also, convention does not equal with ignorance or primitiveness whereas many traditional thinking can inspire and enlighten us contemporaries and apply to modern society.Here is a convincing example. Ancient prominent educationalist Scorates initiated the teaching idea of eliciting knowledge from students, which is valuable reference and still serve to make education effective in modern times. Evidently, to desert tradition along with its elites is such an unwisedetermination. For another thing, merely conforming tradition may lead to the ossification of concepts so that modernization is needed desperately to liberate the thinking of human beings and hence that motivate their awareness of innovation which is considered as one of the most important factors for the improvement of society. Also, modern inventions bring us brand new digital times which enable our lives to be more efficient and enjoyable. Disparate with conventional means of providing information, for example, the inventions of televisions and computers are undoubtedly much more facilitative that rejecting those highly technological tools and the like would be a behavior to render our society regressive.Therefore, modernization and tradition should not be eliminated by each other.

In the light of the significance of both tradition and modernization, they should be both taken into consideration. Although they are contradictory and opposite, from the perspective of philosophy they are unified as well. The best way to solve this problem, thereby, is to reconcile the paradox between them and mingle them into an organic whole. To our great relief，there is a trend that the combination of tradition and modernization have begun to penetrate into diversity of areas.Take the realm of music as examples,the births of world music and new age style which embrace three distinct elements such as traditional music,classic music and pop music  are increasingly popular with the masses­­—— spawning a jump on modern music。This confirms that as long as we address appropriately the relationship between tradition and modernization they can be compatible and bring about more surprising benefits.Another apt instance illustrating this point involves the construction of cities. It is acknowledged that Paris is a famous city with long history which becomes not only the center of culture but also the center of trade all over the world. From the fashionable Avenue Champas Elysees to Eiffel Tower,from modern Art and Culture Center of Georges Pompidou to the Louvre Palace,from the prosperous downtown to ancient cultural districts along the side of Seine River,we can see that it is the harmonious existence of modernization and tradition that make Paris attractive to the majority of people.Rather than choosing between them, if people can combine both of them, we can enjoy a more colorful and vivid life.

To sum up,it is unfair to separate tradition from modernization, because in the historic standpoint, they are all the treasure of human beings from generation to generation.We should devote to creating enough spaces for the development and co-survival of both of them.




[ 本帖最后由 westlife007_hu 于 2007-1-12 10:12 编辑 ]

christainUID: 2200210

The speaker asserts that加上这个，个人觉得较好 Tradition and modernization are to some degree incompatibles that we have to choose one of them.However,in my point of view,tradition and modernization can not be substituted by each other in that they both play vital roles in the development of our world.We human being should seek for a better way to balance the paradox这个词用得不对n.似非而是的论点, 自相矛盾的话 between tradition and modernization in order that they can get along well .

Admittedly,in so far as tradition and modernization bear a great many of differences in various aspects ,we always have no other choice than to give up one of them facing the conflict between tradition and modernization.For instance, When traditional feudalism confronts with modern democratism,we choose the latter one because democratism stands for the progress of society.When traditional carriages encounter modern cars,we choose the latter as well on account of the inherent convenience and high efficiency of cars. When traditional culture meet globization,we choose to sacrifice a part of our conventions so as to keep pace with the whole world.这个例子的排比用得很好，而且词汇也很丰富，很好However,it is because of the rencounter between tradition and modernization that we should not conclude that either of them can replace the other one（这是个强调句型，翻译成中文很不通顺阿）,for the chief reason that the two are both regarded as the essences which precipitate the advancemant of society and abandoning any of them might mean（这个词用得不好，改成cause是不是好点？） a huge loss. Convention is the representive of the wisdom of our ancestors based on the long-term accumulation and inquiries in the history of hundreds of years.Convention does not equal with ignorance or primitiveness whereas many traditional thinkings are nonetheless（与前面的whereas重复） able to inspire and enlighten us contemporaries and apply to modern society.Here is an example that is convincing（这个不太好吧，不能专门为了复杂句把一个能用形容词的简单句写成这样）. Ancient prominent educationalist Scorates initiated the teaching idea of eliciting knowledge from students,which is valuable reference and still serve to make education effective in modern times.（这句是不是copy的，我好像在哪看过）Thus,it is evident that to desert tradition along with its elites is such an unwise determination. Nevertheless, merely conforming tradition may lead to the ossification好词 of  concepts so that modernization is needed desperately to liberate the of thinkings of human beings and hence that motivate their awareness of innovation which is considered as one of the most important fators for the improvement of society.Furthermore, modern inventions bring us a brand new digital times which enable our lives to be more effient词拼错了 and enjoyable.Disparate with conventional means of providing information,for example,the inventions of televisions and computers are undoubtedly much more facilitative that rejecting those highly technological tools and the like would be a behavior to render our society regressive.Therefore,modernization and tradition should not be eliminated by each other.In the light of the significance of both tradition and modernization,they should be both taken into consideration.Although they are contradictory and opposite,from the perspective of philosophy they are unified as well.The best way to solve this problem,thereby, is to reconcile the paradox between them and mingle them into an organic whole.（是自己创造的吗）To our great relief，there is a trendency that the combination of tradition and modernization have begun to penetrate into diversity of areas.Take the realm of music as examples（as one example）,the births of world music and new age style ,which embrace three distinct elements such as traditional music,classic music and pop music , are increasingly popular with the masses­­—— spawning a jump on modern music。This confirms that as long as we address appropriately the relationship between tradition and modernization they can be compatible and bring about more surprising benefits.Another apt instance illustrating this point involves the construction of cities.It is acknowledged that Paris is a famous city with long history which becomes not only the center of culture but also the center of trade all over the world.From the fashionable Avenue Champa Elysees to Eiffel Tower,from modern Art and Culture Center of Georges Pompidou to the Louvre Palace,from the prosperous downtown to ancient cultural districts along the side of Seine River,we can see that it is the harmonious existence of modernization and tradition that make Paris attractive to the majority of people.Rather than choosing between them, if people can combine both of them, we can enjoy a more colorful and vivid life.

To sum up,it is unfair to separate tradition from modernization, because in the historic standpoint, they are all the treasure of human beings from generation to generation.We should devote to creating enough spaces for the development and co-survival of both of them.今天时间来不及了，明天继续改小小建议：在发帖之前，先在word里面检查一下错误，这样可以方便大家理解你的意思，同时也可以节省大家的时间

你把你的提纲列出来我看看，我觉得论证不是很有力度
粗体表示我认为比较好的词句，你挺喜欢用排比的
呵呵


[ 本帖最后由 christain 于 2006-12-18 12:16 编辑 ]

christainUID: 2200210

汗
论坛不稳定
我贴的时候明明是不同颜色
怎么全变红了
西城，你辛苦点慢慢看看吧

westlife007_huUID: 2270665

谢谢你帮我修改,我也感觉不是很好,但不知到怎么改,请给点建议吧
提纲是
观点:tradition和modernization在某种程度上不相容所以我们只有选择其一,但两者不能相互替代,两者应该和谐共处
1.tradition和modernization之间有冲突所以有时我们不得不从中选择一个
2但是tradition和modernization对于社会的发展都很重要,分别论证其重要性,证明放弃其中任何一个都是巨大损失
3两者尽管是对立的但以哲学的观点来看也是统一的,我们应该同时考虑传统和现代而不是放弃其一,而让我们欣慰的是,两者和谐共存已经渗透到各个领域

[ 本帖最后由 westlife007_hu 于 2006-12-18 14:16 编辑 ]

ostrich1986UID: 2238177

不好意思啊 今天才抽空看了看 有一些拼写错误 用word就能查出来
语言依然闪光
第1段还好 我觉得后面就有个问题 传统现代2选1 = 传统现代不能被替代?

westlife007_huUID: 2270665

传统现代2选1 = 传统现代不能被替代?
如果传统现代2选1的话不就相当于传统代替现代或现代代替传统吗
不是很明白你的意思啊
我就是想表达无论是传统还是现代舍弃其一都是巨大的损失,所以在第二段分别论证了两者对于社会的重要性.因此得出结论,两者都不能舍弃,要并寸在过度到第三段
我也隐约觉得有些不妥,但不知道问题出在哪

hyt0303UID: 2254178

Tradition and modernization are to some degree incompatibles that we have to choose one of them.However,in my point of view,tradition and modernization can not be substituted by each other in that they both play vital roles in the development of our world.We human being should seek for a better way to balance the paradox （make a balance） between tradition and modernization in order that they can get along well .

Admittedly,in so far as tradition and modernization bear a great many of differences in various aspects ,we always have no other choice than to give up one of them facing the conflict between tradition and modernization.For instance, When traditional feudalism confronts with modern democratism,we choose the latter one because democratism stands for the progress of society.When traditional carriages encounter modern cars,we choose the latter as well on account of the inherent convenience and high efficiency of cars. When traditional culture meet globization (globalization),we choose to sacrifice a part of our conventions so as to keep pace with the whole world.

However,it is because of the reencounter between tradition and modernization that we should not conclude that either of them can replace the other one,for the chief reason that the two are both regarded as the essences which precipitate the advancemant of society and abandoning any (either) of them might mean a huge loss. Convention is the representive of the wisdom of our ancestors based on the long-term accumulation and inquiries in the history of hundreds of years.Convention does not equal with ignorance or primitiveness whereas many traditional thinkings are nonetheless able to inspire and enlighten us contemporaries and apply to modern society.Here is an example that is convincing. Ancient prominent educationalist Scorates initiated the teaching idea of eliciting knowledge from students,which is valuable reference and still serve to make education effective in modern times.Thus,it is evident that to desert tradition along with its elites is such an unwisedetermination. Nevertheless, merely conforming tradition may lead to the ossification of  concepts so that modernization is needed desperately to liberate the of thinkings of human beings and hence that motivate their awareness of innovation which is considered as one of the most important fators for the improvement of society.Furthermore, modern inventions bring us a brand new digital times which enable our lives to be more effient and enjoyable.Disparate with conventional means of providing information,for example,the inventions of televisions and computers are undoubtedly much more facilitative that rejecting those highly technological tools and the like would be a behavior to render our society regressive.Therefore,modernization and tradition should not be eliminated by each other.

In the light of the significance of both tradition and modernization,they should be both taken into consideration.Although they are contradictory and opposite,from the perspective of philosophy they are unified as well.The best way to solve this problem,thereby, is to reconcile the paradox between them and mingle them into an organic whole.To our great relief，there is a trendency that the combination of tradition and modernization have begun to penetrate into diversity of areas.Take the realm of music as examples,the births of world music and new age style ,which embrace three distinct elements (styles) such as traditional music,classic music and pop music , are increasingly popular with the masses¬¬—— spawning a jump on modern music。This confirms that as long as we address appropriately the relationship between tradition and modernization they can be compatible and bring about more surprising benefits.Another apt instance illustrating this point involves the construction of cities.It is acknowledged that Paris is a famous city with long history which becomes not only the center of culture but also the center of trade all over the world.From the fashionable Avenue Champa Elysees to Eiffel Tower,from modern Art and Culture Center of Georges Pompidou to the Louvre Palace,from the prosperous downtown to ancient cultural districts along the side of Seine River,we can see that it is the harmonious existence of modernization and tradition that make Paris attractive to the majority of people.Rather than choosing between them, if people can combine both of them, we can enjoy a more colorful and vivid life.

To sum up,it is unfair to separate tradition from modernization, because in the historic standpoint, they are all the treasure of human beings from generation to generation.We should devote to creating enough spaces for the development and co-survival of both of them.
本来想细细改一遍，但是一眼看过去好像问题不是很明显，先把跳出来的几个小错误贴出来，你先看看，晚上我再找时间细细改过。

expire7UID: 2160574

感觉展开思路就不对

前两段还好
不过第三段你其实已经同意两者是不可兼容，只是你死缠着要说两者必须保留。其实虽然你没有选择，但是至少在某个情况下你是必须选择的。所以说这里思路不对。
个人觉得，第三段应该举例那些情况下两者是融合了的。TS就不能按照你现在列的提纲，如果这样你首先就已经同意了标题了。既然你的总观点是兼容，那么这一段再不点题，那么就是离题千里了。
首先错在B3的TS，其实换一个兼容的TS，然后举点例子就行了。

你多参考一下别人的这篇提纲和论文。

11yaoyaoUID: 177037

147"Tradition and modernization are incompatible. One must choose between them."

As the speaker asserts, tradition and modernization are to some degree incompatible that we have to choose one of them.However, in my point of view, tradition and modernization can not be substituted by each other in that they both play vital roles in the development of our world.We human being should seek for a balanced way to reconcile the paradox between tradition and modernization in order that they can both exist harmoniously.
观点很好，我就是觉得，最后你的落脚点在exist harmoniously上有点怪……anyway，这不是什么大事。我喜欢你的开头，干脆利索。但是用陈述题目的这个方法，实在太多了，看了这几篇，基本上都这样，是不是可以换个方法，比如可以从你后文的分论点着手，开头以三个方面提纲的形式摆出，然后一个中心，或许可以新鲜一点哦
                                                                        
Admittedly, on certain cases, 怎么都觉得admittedly, it is true是GRE阅读里的句子……嘿嘿，这样是重复的，不用写两个啦，admittedly去掉就OK了 it is true that we always have no other 是不是应该是no more choice than……choice than to give up one of them facing the conflict between tradition and modernization in so far as they are totally different. For instance, when traditional feudalism confront 单数with modern democratism,we choose the latter one because democratism stands for the progress but feudalism puts sands in the wheels of the development of society.有这个说法么？我木见过，也不敢说啥，不过我觉得如果不能肯定是对是错，或者是中文的说法你转成了英语而不是找到意思相近对应的英语习语的话，还是别用了，直接用cumber得了When traditional carriage encounter单数，同学，你写这么长呢，咋小地方不注意捏 modern cars,we choose the latter as well on account of the inherent convenience and high efficiency of cars前面有了，这里可以用them，或者其实你开始的时候car用单数，跟carriage的单数也比较搭配，这里你后面就可以用it，读起来也更流畅，你说呢？. When traditional culture meet 单数globization,we choose to sacrifice a part of our conventions so as to keep pace with the whole world. Therefore, neither could the speaker’s claim be unreasonable that tradition and modernization are incompatible. 我明白你的意思，不过……好象你这个用错了，呵呵，neither是否定的，倒装，都对了，但是由于后面是incompatible，所以你那个unreasonable应该是reasonable，或者这三个词你其中一个改成肯定的都可以。

However, we should not abandon either of them only depending on the reason that they might be incompatible. The two are both regarded as the essences 我觉得这里可以用单数，因为这是一个很抽象的概念，ANYWAY复数的话，形式上完全OKwhich THAT，我特别强调一下吧，喜欢用定语从句，要分清楚限制性和非限制性哦，没有逗号就要是that的说哈。precipitate the advancement of society that abandoning any of them might mean a huge loss. For one thing, convention is the representive of the wisdom of our ancestors based on the long-term accumulation and inquiries in the history of up to 替换掉of hundreds of years. Also, convention does not equal with 我喜欢is not the equivalent of ignorance or primitiveness whereas many traditional thinking thoughts?我没理解THINKING，英语里只有没有名词的动词才会用动名词，不然就是你自己造的了。 can inspire and enlighten us contemporaries and apply to modern society. Here is a convincing example. Ancient prominent educationalist Scorates initiated the teaching idea of eliciting knowledge from students, which is valuable reference and still serve to make education effective in modern times make这样的词少用，尽量不用这么抽象的词，意思太多，用精确的词效果比较好。这句话完全可以改成serve to effectively improve modern education . Evidently, to desert tradition along with its elites is such an unwisedetermination. For another thing, merely conforming tradition may lead to the ossification of concepts so that modernization is needed desperately to liberate the thinking of human beings and hence that motivate their awareness of innovation which THAT is considered be considered后面不加as的, 加to be可以查下字典，我见过的consider as是这么用的：he considers her as a fool as one of the most important factors for the improvement of society. Also, modern inventions bring us brand new digital times which that enable our lives to be more efficient and enjoyable. 例子这样讲就不具体了，如果我的话，我就说，brand new digital times that enable us to communicate with others all over the world ,这样就具体了，你说呢？你那么说就不是很有说服力，我觉得就是一个词，具体，不是空泛的一句话，而是实在的道理和事实。Disparate with conventional means of providing information, for example, the inventions of televisions and computers are undoubtedly much more facilitative that rejecting those highly technological tools and the like would be a behavior to render our society regressive.Therefore, modernization and tradition should not be eliminated by each other.
最后一句，我好象明白了，但是又好象不明白……啥意思？

In the这个THE没啥用，去掉还能省事，意思是一样的 light of the significance of both tradition and modernization, they should be both 前面有BOTH了，换一个 taken into consideration. Although they are contradictory and opposite 前面你讨论的都是共存问题，你的观点也是能够和谐存在，所以我觉得，这里可以用个seemingly放在be动词后，小细节，只是个建议 , from the perspective of philosophy they are unified as wellas well就不如indeed ，你说呢？. The best way to solve this problem, thereby, is to reconcile the paradox between them and mingle them into an organic whole. To our great relief，there is a trend that the combination of tradition and modernization have主语是combination，单数 begun to penetrate into diversity of areas.Take the realm of music as examples,the births of world music and new age style which embrace three distinct elements such as traditional music,classic music and pop music  are increasingly popular with the masses­­—— spawning a jump on modern music .This confirms that as long as we address appropriately the relationship between tradition and modernization they can be compatible and bring about more surprising benefits. Another apt instance illustrating this point involves the construction of cities. It is acknowledged that Paris is a famous city with long history which that becomes not only the center of culture but also the center of trade all over the world. From the fashionable Avenue Champas Elysees to Eiffel Tower,from modern Art and Culture Center of Georges Pompidou to the Louvre Palace,from the prosperous downtown to ancient cultural districts along the side of Seine River,we can see that it is the harmonious existence of modernization and tradition that make 单数 Paris attractive to the majority of people 这里好象自己就有点不自信，就说people，不用什么大多数.Rather than choosing between them, if people can combine both of them, we can enjoy a more colorful and vivid VIVID形容LIFE？ life.这里有个问题，你看题目，是compatible和是不是要从中二选一的问题，而不是人们能不能combine both of them 然后过个colorful life的问题，跑啦。

To sum up,it is unfair to separate tradition from modernization, because in the historic standpoint, they are all the treasure of human beings from generation to generation.We should devote to creating enough spaces for the development and co-survival of both of them.
虎头蛇尾啊，同学，你开头都那么长，BODY也很庞大，这么一个小尾巴，不好看哦。不过整篇文章，句子都很不错的，我看到了很多词，别人都不会用的或者不怎么用的，而且又不是什么生僻的词，我觉得挺好的，小毛病要注意，拼写上没问题，但是语法上要小心，句子写长了，自己不能肯定，最后还是回头再看看。
例子上的问题，我想我在BODY里已经讲过了，记得一定不要空泛，讲道理的时候要拿出具体的细节，这样比较有说服力。就比如，我们说，科技让人们生活得更好。这话是没有意义的。如果说，科技让道路更宽阔，交通更便利，科技让我们能够随时跟地球上的每个地区联系，这样就具体了。明白我的意思了么？
除此之外，建议一边写一边脑袋里想着点题目和自己的论点，倒数第二段有点跑题啦，尤其是你的结尾句，你得做到，不管你论述是怎么进行的，但是开头的分论点，和每段的小结，一定要扣题，别跑了。
是挺好的文章啦，加油哦！例子也很多，材料很丰富呢，不错！

[ 本帖最后由 11yaoyao 于 2007-1-17 10:25 编辑 ]