issue144 <米国有米第六次作业〉

blackswitchUID: 2110679

ISSUE 144

There is a public controversy nowadays over the issue that “is it artist or critic who gives society something of lasting value”.The speaker asserts that it is the artist ,not the critic.It might be tempting to agree with speaker on the basis that it is the artist not the critic who creat the artistic works .However, the speaker overlooks the critic’s siginificant function in impeling arts.

The works of the artist convey prevailing cultural ideas and human values to the audience. Through reading novels and watching film, we distingwish between right and wrong.. For instance, Shakespeare's Macbeth tells us that inordinate ambition is wicked and we should spurn it. Zorra teachs us that bravery,honesty is a virtue and we should hold it for ever. Even some figurines represent important values.For instance, Statue of Liberty in America express “democracy and liberty” –the ideality of American demos.In addition, some famous song and hymns also show ethical concept. “The master of war” warns that war is brutal and human being should avoid war. In short, all kinds of arts were not only the experession of beauty,but also the expression of moral principles.


However, without critics, the profound meaning and value the artists imply in their works can not be accurately understood by the audience. It is the critics ,being familiar with a particular artist, who help us know the concealed means. For example, when an ordinary people read “dream in red building’,he/she may be impressed with the complicated contents and picturesque language.But he or she can not aware that this nove expresses author’s hatred of feudality.But the critics can make him/her realize that by carfully analyzing the background of this novels –the experience of the author, the details of the novels, the social condition of that time.So, the critics is a bridge between artists and audience.

In addition, the critics can provide feedback for artists and cause artists advance.After all, every man has his weak side, artists are not exceptional.critics, with abundant knowledge in some given field ,can point out the disadvantage of the arts. Take the film for example, Why film can advance again and again? Except for other reasons, I believe critics played an important role in this process. When an new film was published ,the critics would evaluated the merits and shortcomings of this film in many aspects—wheather the thesis is valuable, the performance of the actor is attractive, the stage set is proper and so on..These suggestions would result in better work of directors and players.

Finally, the critcs intrigue the audience with detailed analysis in arts. I have this experience, when I entered the art gallerly alone, I wandered from one painting to anothor painting and only was excited about the vivid color and the time I spent on watching a painting was no more than 5 minutes. However, if a critic was along with me and described the profounding meaning and wonderful story behind these painting, I would be more intersted in these paintings and stayed there to scrutinize these painting.The time that I was with every painting may be 20 minutes not 5 minutes.

In sum, the arts is a medium by which important human values are impart to society. However the critics make people more concerned about these values and lead the aritics express these value  more efficiently.

ntmlgszUID: 2235666

[提纲]：
1.举例《尤利西斯》来引出批评家的功能，评价作品、区分作品的好坏，总结艺术思潮，反馈给艺术家意见。
2.但和批评家相比，艺术家为艺术和社会的贡献更多。
(1)创造作品的是艺术家。艺术家进行创造，表达内心，并带给观众精神享受。而批评家并没有。没有艺术家的作品，也便没有批评家的评价。
(2)进行艺术思潮和革新的艺术家。摇滚乐。批评家更多的是总结。
(3)艺术家进行的反馈，如果没有艺术家的创造，则不具备任何意义。法国新浪潮电影。  
   
[正文]：   
According to this statement, the speaker asserts that only the artist couldleave something valuable to the society rather than the critic. I agree withthe speaker that, in most part, the critic doesn't play an indispensable rolein evaluating artists and their works; even more gives few with [去掉] lasting value to oursociety.
[开头简练明了中心明确，好]
     
It should be acknowledged that the criticshelp the artists and their works to be widely understood among the masses andmake the value of the artists' works be passed down to history. Let's takeJames Joyce's <Ulysses> for example, when the author James Joyce wrotethis obscure novel,the[去掉] most of which are [is] too obscurefor the readers to understand, especially the literal technique that presentedthe thoughts and feeling of a character as they developed. In most cases, wemay just know there are several characters and their name[+s], identity in thisnovel; we may not possess the sensitive perspective and the capability to reachthe profound meaning of this novel. But the criticsinterpret the implicit thoughts and emotion lying behind the novel, summarizeJoyce's writing style as 'the stream of consciousness' and generalize thisliteral genre to more readers and critics.[这句不错] If there is no critics, people may fail orget late [不要] to discover the value of the art work[+s], and thus fail [重复了] to remember them. Moreover, sometimes critics may give someconstructive feedback to the artists which could help the artists to improvetheir works.[后面应该还有个总结这段的话吧，这样更好]
[本段结构清晰，论证充分，逻辑紧密，不过怎么都是觉得是在肯定评论家，和主题段的观点不一致。]
     
However, comparing with the critics, the artists contribute more lasting valueto the art and the society. It should be acknowledgedthat the value of the work is created by genuine artists, who expresstheir hearts and thoughts through creating  and bring a spiritual enjoyment[+s]to the masses, but rather the critics who don't created[时态] any art work.. If thereis no work[+s] of the artists, there will be nocomment of the critics.
[本段是过渡段呢还是论证段，如果是觉得说的还是太少了，没有充分说明和展开你的论证。偶觉得是过渡段吧]
   
Firstly, for those truly valuable art works, no matter how long they have towait until being accepted, they would manifest their value eventually; eventhere is no any critic. Vincent Van Gogh and his paintings could prove it best.He got very bad criticism and sold only one of his paintingsby his brother Theo before his death, but as time flies, people are starting torealize the value of his paintings which keep a highest sales record ofpainting work today. Hence, the lasting value comes from the creative artistsrather than the critics.[总觉得这个例子不恰当，我觉得还是先弄清Vincent Van Gogh的作品是后来被评论界还是大众认可的呢？偶改其他文章的时候，看见别人也用这个例子，不过说的是评论界最终接受了Vincent Van Gogh的作品，而不是先被大众接受。其实偶也不知道啊，你去查查吧，查好了PM我哈]
   
Secondly, notwithstanding [although吧] the foregoing contribution of critics in summarizing andgeneralizing the art genre and variationtal trend, it is the artist who creates and develops the genres and trends [前后举的数不一致] of art. For the instance of rock music, whichbegan with Bill Haeley's <Rock Around the Clock> and developed with ElvisPresley, Bob Dylan, Beatles, Rolling Stones and so on, this music genre and hislasting value are totally created by the bands and the singers and do nothing with the critics. [这里太绝对了吧，如果真的是这个样子你不应该仅仅把乐队名字列出来，更应该说明下为什么没有关联] What the critics do aremore summarization and popularization.[本段感觉论证的不好，给人草草收场的感觉，其实还有很多你没有认真展开来说，导致结论不能站住脚]
（题外话：汝还对摇滚有些了解？西西，偶也稀饭摇滚，不过用来论证的话最好不要只说几个名字就完鸟，对名人事迹的详细了解也是必不可少的）
   
Furthermore, without the artists' creation, it is meaningless for the critics'feedback. Taking Nouvelle Vague (new tide of movie in France) means as anexample, director Truffaut was a critic of <cahiers of cinema> in thebeginning, he wrote many articles about the circumstance of cinema then, whichdidn't develop French cinema directly. Until directing a movie <400blows> personally, he had brought a whole new view to French cinema, whichalso contributed a lasting value of new tide of French cinema. [这个例子PRETTY GOOD，不过我不知道是不是像你说的那个样子] To this extent, the critics in every time of period may contributevery few to the development of true art, if the critics would also pay someattention to creating, may there be more valuable works today. [论证论述还比较完整]
   
To sum up, the critics have their creativity in wide confirming and spreadingthe value of art works. Nevertheless, due to the concrete creation andcontribution, the artists do give lasting value to the society rather than thecritics.
   

总评：怎么说呢？写这种方向的确实不好写，虽然在众多文章中你的观点和别人不一样，给考官眼前一亮，但是如果没有驾驭这个难写方向的能力的话还是不要写，写砸了可就完了。
还有第2 段的论述怎么都觉得和全文的观点相左，语言上的问题不是很大，绿色的部分两个句式重复，而且是完全相同的，可以换个近义词或者加个副词什么的来避免。该说的偶都说了。提纲一定要写好啊