Argument137 Hamming小组第6周作业 ***需要您的帮助，恳求拍砖***

ScorpionSkyUID: 2273954

TOPIC: ARGUMENT137 - The following appeared in an editorial in the Mason City newspaper.

"At present, Mason City residents seldom use the nearby Mason River for any kind of recreational activity, even though surveys of the region's residents consistently rank water sports (swimming, fishing, and boating) as a favorite form of recreation. Since there have been complaints about the quality of the water in the river, residents must be avoiding the river because they think that it is not clean enough. But that situation is about to change: the agency responsible for rivers in our region has announced plans to clean up Mason River. Therefore, recreational use of the river is likely to increase, so the Mason City council will need to increase its budget for improvements to the publicly owned lands along the Mason River."

WORDS: 456          TIME:  40:00          DATE: 2006-12-26
Outline:
1、抱怨水质差的人不一定是爱好水上运动的人，可能是沿岸居民，所以不能据此肯定水干净了人们就对这里感兴趣！！
2、人们应该更愿意在人工水域活动，那里安全，卫生，服务设施齐全；
3、没有任何证据提供信息说这项工程何时结束，效果到底如何，所以着急于提高拨款，显然是操之过急！

Text:
The editorial seems well-presented at first glance, but close scrutiny reveals that it is suffer from several logical flaws, which have render it unconvincing as it stands. As for me, the most desired point is that whether are those people, who enjoy water sports, concerning and complaining water quality of Mason River is unsatisfied. If not, the assumption that, after cleaning up the River there shall be more water sports lovers willing to come, is still uncertain. So it is too early to say that Mason City council should to increase budget about improvements of the publicly owned lands along the Mason River.

Admittedly, many a residents of Mason City are favor in water sports (swimming, fishing, and boating) since those movements are so funny, but this fact could not deduce that if the river-water is enough cleaning, they will certainly come and enjoy. Often, people more likely to go to professional and artificial water place, which relatively being more safer and have more similar amateurs, even better complete service systems than nature river. In this case, they should be always take activities in natatorium (游泳池), fishing ground (渔场) and lakes in parks, but never choose river.

In addition, I strongly suggest the writer had better to examine that who are complaining quality of the river's water. It appears to that, usually, the residents, who are settled beside the river and suffered from water pollutions, should be more possible to pay attention to water quality's changing condition and to reflect to apartments which involved. Meanwhile, with never take care for those problems, the others, who are enjoying water play games at other places. A more specific statement about this alternative explanation is needed in order to make the assumption forceful.

Finally, there is absolutely no evidence provided to inform (写成了reform!-_-!!!) us that how long will the project of cleaning up lasting, one year, two years or even no ends? And, how about their effects? Mason River really will be cleaned enough for these water sports or not? Any answers can not be found in this article. Obviously, it might merely be a action precipitately to the Mason city council to take such a propose and waste money finally. So before conclusions about to enhance budgets of the publicly owned lands along the Mason River for its developments, the writer needs to clearer the concrete (accurate) situation about the river cleaning-plans.

Overall, this article dose not well-reasoning as it stands. To strength it, the writer should to make clearer (legible) whether those people who complaining are those ones, who loving water sports. To better evaluate the recommendation of the writer, I need more sound information about the cleaning plans for the Mason River, and I suggest the council to delay deciding of enlarging the budget of the improvements of publicly owned lands along the Mason River to the time, when the cleaning plans are nearing their ends.

[ 本帖最后由 ScorpionSky 于 2006-12-26 11:34 编辑 ]

rt860113UID: 2256886

The editorialseems well-presented at first glance, but close scrutiny reveals that it is suffer from several logical flaws, which have render（应改为rendered） it unconvincing as it stands. As for me, the most desired point is that whether are those people, who enjoy water sports, concerning and complaining water quality of Mason River is unsatisfied. If not, the assumption that, after cleaning up the River there shall be more water sports lovers willing to come, is still uncertain. So it is too early to say that Mason City council should to increase budget about improvements of the publicly owned lands along the Mason River.

Admittedly, many a residents(many a 后面应跟名词单数resident) of Mason City are favor in water sports (swimming,fishing, and boating) since those movements are so funny, but this fact couldnot deduce that if the river-water is enough cleaning, they will certainly comeand enjoy. Often, people are more likely to goto professional and artificial water place, which relatively being(is) more safer and have more similar amateurs, evenbetter complete service systems than natural river. In this case, they should be always take activities in natatorium (游泳池), fishing ground and lakes in parks, butnever choose river.

In addition, Istrongly suggest the writer had better toexamine that who are complaining quality of the river's water. It appears tothat, usually, the residents, who are settled beside the river and sufferedfrom water pollutions, should be more possible to pay attention to waterquality's changing condition and to reflect to apartments which involved.Meanwhile, with never taking care for(of) thoseproblems, the others, who are enjoying water(?)play games at other places. A more specific statement about this alternativeexplanation is needed in order to make the assumption forceful.

Finally, there isabsolutely no evidence provided to inform us that how long will the project ofcleaning up lasting, one year, two yearsor even no ends? And, how about theireffects? Mason River will be really cleanedenough for these water sports or not? Any answerscan not be found in this article. Obviously, it might merely be a actionprecipitately to the Mason city council to take such a propose and waste money finally. So before conclusions about to enhance budgets of the publicly ownedlands along the Mason River for its developments, the writer needs to clearer(clarify) the concrete (accurate) situationabout the river cleaning-plans.

Overall(To sum up),this article is not well-reasoning as it stands.To strength it, the writer should to make clearer (legible) whether thosepeople who complaining are those ones, who loving(love)water sports. To better evaluate the recommendation of the writer, I need moresound information about the cleaning plans for the Mason River, and I suggestthe council to delay deciding of enlarging the budget of the improvements ofpublicly owned lands along the Mason River to the time, when the cleaning plansare nearing their ends.
作者的整体思路还是不错的,但是模板还需要完善,细节上还需要在认真一些,一起加油吧!