Issue147 ScorpionSky--Hamming组 昨天电脑没电了,交晚了哈!

ScorpionSkyUID: 2273954

147. "Tradition and modernization are incompatible. One must choose between them."
传统和现代化是水火不容的。人们必须二者选一。
OUTLINE:
1、  不同意issue的说法，如果按照它的逻辑，世界上就只能有两种人—当然，不是男人和女人—而是保守派conservative和现代派modernity。事实并非如此，世界上有各色各样的人，各色各样的diversiform文化，有的很极端extreme，但是大部分人相对中庸，他们可以很好的把传统和现代结合的很好，使自己的生活更加安逸。
2、  一个人的成长就是这样，受其环境，接触的人和拥有的文化所影响和限制。例如中国人，我们拥有悠久的历史和文化，同时又处在现代化改革之中，我们接受西方的生活方式，逐渐的西化；科技产品，迅速的现代化。这些东西极大的改善了人民的生活。
3、  所以有些就认为西化就是现代化，但是他们错了，西化的东西其实和以前我们的生活方式没有本质的区别，但是现代化的东西就不同，他们有潜力扩大人们的生活范围（sphere）和扩大人们的视野，进一步转变transform思维方法和做事方式，最后改变世界观，现代化基本上意味着重建文化系统。
4、  这种新的模式并不一定总是带来好的影响，比如生活方式和社会稳定。
   因为新的文化的引入往往和传统文化相冲突，例如：同居，婚前性行为，离婚等。这些家庭问题往往被认为是内部问题，而不值得重视，但是大量的家庭问题最终导致社会问题，破坏了传统价值观甚至影响到社会安定。
5、  任何事情都有两面性，传统和现代各有好处，我们不应该只选择支持其中一个，我们只有在合适的时间进行正确的选择，我们才能看到他们阳光的一面，就像中药和西药一样，我们可以通过正确的选择得到最好的疗效！

After a full thought, I find I could not help to disagree with this claim. Following the logic of it, the humanity were separated into two groups (of course, not men and women) consisted of conservative and modernity. However, that is not the real world being, which presently appearing sorts of kinds of people—fashion group, fogeyish (守旧的) group, and middle group or even abnormality group. In the face of tradition and modernization, someone chooses extremeness meanwhile most people choose middle of the road, which usually could well compate tradition and modernizition in their lives and makes them more ease way.

Often, an individual always be the one defined by the environment he lived in, the crowd he surrounded by, the culture he embraced of. In the case of Chinese, we are holding a context of time-honored culture and living under a reformation of modernization. We are experiencing a strange era and facing more and more challenges of fresh minds, rapidly pace of life and new cultures from western societies. The adoption of western clothes, foods, hair styles and houses can be regarded as a part of westernization. The introduction of telephones, TV sets, airplanes, mass communication, computers and so forth can be considered to be a part of modernization. Certainly, our lives have become much more affluent, convenient and comfortable than ever before, our citizens have paid more and more attentions to western culture and close with it.
Therefore, as many china people thinking, the westernization is equal to the modernization for they seem to be both fashion and exiting. As it were, the functions the former performed were almost the same as those which indigenous and substitutes had fulfilled in our earlier times. On the other hand, the latter contains the potential for enlarging the spheres of life and broadening one’s outlook, and furthermore transforming ways of thinking, patterns of behaviors and world views. Consequently, modernization basically means remolding a cultural system into a new form.

This new mold will not always produce good effects, such as a dignified style of life and social suability. This is because introducing western elements into non-western countries may sometimes cause serious conflicts and tension with the traditional cultures. For example, tradition rejects living together before marriage, tradition reject sex before marriage, but modernization just bringing with these things. Then it leads to the divorce rate increased rapidly, family collision emerged in endlessly. In an ordinary way, family problems always being regarded as inner—business and not very worthy concerned.  But mass of them will be a large social problem, which could damage our tradition family value view and even affluences social staility.

Things should be separated into two parts, either tradition or modernization has respective advantages and disadvantages. We should not support only one, and it’s hard to say which one is better than the other. Only in the right time can we choose the right answer, tradition or modernization. We could look the bright side of them and utilize them. It just likes the selection between Chinese traditional medicine and western’s. We can get the best benefits from them in right way.

[ 本帖最后由 ScorpionSky 于 2006-12-29 23:08 编辑 ]

rt860113UID: 2256886

After a full thought, I find I could not help to disagree(cannot help做情不自禁讲的时候后应该跟V-ing) with this claim. Following the logic of it, the humanity wereseparated into two groups (of course, not men and women)（关于这里括号的用法我也没有具体查到，是用破折号合适还是双括号，还请细查） consisted of conservative and modernity. However, that is not thereal world being, which presently appearing sorts of kinds of(和前面的sorts of重复) people—fashion group, fogeyishgroup, and middle group or even abnormality group. In the face of tradition andmodernization, someone chooses extremeness meanwhile most people choose middleof the road.（第一段提出了自己对论题的基本观点，但是保守派和现代派的划分好像界限不是很清晰，一般来说，保守派和自由派，改革派相对，还请斟酌）

Often(此词和下文的always有重复之嫌), an individual always be the one defined（这个词语用在这个地方好像不太合适） by the environment he lived in, the crowd he surrounded by, theculture he embraced of. In the case of Chinese, we are holding a context oftime-honored culture and living under a reformation ofmodernization（确定是用under么？我们不是生活在改革之中么？请再斟酌）. We are experiencing a strange era（strange感觉上有些奇怪，可考虑改为bran-new）and facing more and more challenges of fresh minds, rapidly(rapid) pace oflife and new cultures from western societies. The adoption of western clothes,foods, hairstyles and houses can be regarded as a part of westernization. Theintroduction of telephones, TV sets, airplanes, mass communication, computersand so forth can be considered to be a part of modernization. Certainly, ourlives have become much more affluent, convenient and comfortable than everbefore, our citizens have paid more and more attentions to western culture andclose with it.(我觉得由于我们要将考卷交给西方人士看，也许在描述西化的问题上语言可以变换一下，尽量不要让他们与我们产生距离感—自己的一点看法—比如可以把西化用片面的现代化来代替等等,或者将主语变换一下)

Therefore, as many china(Chinese)people thinking, the westernization is equal to the modernization for they seemto be both fashion and exiting. As it were, the functions the former performedwere almost the same as those which indigenous and substitutes had fulfilled inour earlier times. On the other hand, the latter contains the potential forenlarging the spheres of life and broadening one’s outlook, and furthermoretransforming ways of thinking, patterns of behaviors and world views.Consequently, modernization basically means remolding a cultural system into anew form.（这一段还是不错的，但是开篇的中国人可将其概念扩展一下，比如Asian或者不发达国家等等）

This new mold will not always produce good effects,such as a dignified style of life and social suability（？）. This is becauseintroducing western elements into non-western countries may sometimes causeserious conflicts and tension with the traditional cultures. For example,tradition rejects living together before marriage, tradition reject sex (sex较为口语化sexualintercourse) before marriage, but modernization justbringing with these things. Then it leads to the divorce rate increased (应改为increasing) rapidly, familycollision emerged in endlessly. In an ordinary way, family problems always being（are） regarded as inner—business and notvery worthy concerned.  But mass of them will be a large socialproblem, which could damage our traditional family value view(价值观应该为values) and even affluences social stability.

Things should be separated into two parts,(;) either tradition ormodernization has respective advantages and disadvantages. We should notsupport only one, and it’s hard to say which one is better than the other. Only in the right time can we choose the right answer, tradition or modernization.We could look the bright side of them and utilize them. It is just like the selection between Chinese traditional medicine and western’s(好像应该为traditionalChinese medicine and modern Western medicine). We can get the best benefits fromthem in right way.
总的来说，这篇文章思路和结构还是很不错的，需要注意的地方就是细节和例子的运用上，还有时间，一起加油吧！

ScorpionSkyUID: 2273954

多谢修改，改的很仔细，感动~
你的文章句式问题很少，我主要就是提了意见哈，不好意思！

ScorpionSkyUID: 2273954

After a full thought, I find I could not help to disagree(cannot help做情不自禁讲的时候后应该跟V-ing) with this claim. Following the logic of it, the humanity were separated into two groups (of course, not men and women)（关于这里括号的用法我也没有具体查到，是用破折号合适还是双括号，还请细查） consisted of conservative and modernity. However, that is not the real world being, which presently appearing sorts of kinds of(和前面的sorts of重复) people—fashion group, fogeyish守旧的 group, and middle group or even abnormality group. In the face of tradition and modernization, someone chooses extremeness meanwhile most people choose middle of the road.（第一段提出了自己对论题的基本观点，但是保守派和现代派的划分好像界限不是很清晰，一般来说，保守派和自由派，改革派相对，还请斟酌）Often(此词和下文的always有重复之嫌)（恩，我当时也觉得是，后来觉得汉语里应该没有问题，以后还是不这样用了）, an individual always be the one confined (这里我是想用局限，呵呵，写错了)defined（这个词语用在这个地方好像不太合适） by the environment he lived in, the crowd he surrounded by, the culture he embraced of. In the case of Chinese, we are holding a context of time-honored culture and living under(in) a reformation of （opening to the out world）modernization（确定是用under么？我们不是生活在改革之中么？请再斟酌）. We are experiencing a strange era（strange感觉上有些奇怪，可考虑改为bran-new）(good idea)and facing more and more challenges of fresh minds, rapidly(rapid) pace oflife and new cultures from western societies. The adoption of western clothes,foods, hairstyles and houses can be regarded as a part of westernization. Theintroduction of telephones, TV sets, airplanes, mass communication, computersand so forth can be considered to be a part of modernization. Certainly, ourlives have become much more affluent, convenient and comfortable than everbefore, our citizens have paid more and more attentions to western culture andclose with it.(我觉得由于我们要将考卷交给西方人士看，也许在描述西化的问题上语言可以变换一下，尽量不要让他们与我们产生距离感—自己的一点看法—比如可以把西化用片面的现代化来代替等等,或者将主语变换一下)恩，我写的时候也觉得有点隔阂，那就装作不知道自己是不是中国人好了，有点坏哦~呵呵

Therefore, as many china(Chinese)这个地方可以中china people thinking, the westernization is equal to the modernization for they seemto be both fashion and exiting. As it were, the functions the former performedwere almost the same as those which indigenous原本的 and substitutes代替的 had fulfilled inour earlier times. On the other hand, the latter contains the potential forenlarging the spheres of life and broadening one’s outlook, and furthermoretransforming ways of thinking, patterns of behaviors and world views.Consequently, modernization basically means remolding a cultural system into anew form.（这一段还是不错的，但是开篇的中国人可将其概念扩展一下，比如Asian或者不发达国家等等）哦，我的意思是和上一段连接的This new mold will not always produce good effects,such as a dignified style of life and social stability suability（？）. This is becauseintroducing western elements into non-western countries may sometimes causeserious conflicts and tension with the traditional cultures. For example,tradition rejects living together before marriage, tradition reject sex (sex较为口语化sexual intercourse) before marriage, but modernization justbringing with these things. Then it leads to the divorce rate increased (应改为increasing) rapidly, familycollision emerged in endlessly. In an ordinary way, family problems always being（are） regarded as inner—business and notvery worthy concerned.  But mass of them will be a large socialproblem, which could damage our traditional family valuesvalue view(价值观应该为values) and even affluences social stability.

Things should be separated into two parts,(;) either tradition ormodernization has respective advantages and disadvantages. We should notsupport only one, and it’s hard to say which one is better than the other. Only in the right time can we choose the right answer, tradition or modernization.We could look the bright side of them and utilize them. It is just like the selection between Chinese traditional medicine and western’s(好像应该为traditionalChinese medicine and modern Western medicine). We can get the best benefits fromthem in right way.
总的来说，这篇文章思路和结构还是很不错的，需要注意的地方就是细节和例子的运用上，还有时间，一起加油吧！