Argument38 【米国有米】小组 第七次作业

laner023UID: 2223653

题目
38.The following memo appeared in the newsletter of the West Meria Public Health Council.
"An innovative treatment has come to our attention that promises to significantly reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces. A study reports that in nearby East Meria, where fish consumption is very high, people visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of colds. Clearly, eating a substantial amount of fish can prevent colds. Since colds are the reason most frequently given for absences from school and work, we recommend the daily use of Ichthaid, a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil, as a good way to prevent colds and lower absenteeism."

提纲
作者结论：每天吃Ichthaid可以预防感冒，并减少缺席率。
1在东部地区的研究不能证明吃鱼能减少感冒。
A感冒的人不一定都会去医院，一年去医院接受两次感冒治疗并不意味着一年只得两次感冒，有很多人感冒就自己在家里休息或吃药。没有这些资料，我们都不能从这份研究中确信是因为吃鱼所以东部人就少感冒了。
B东部地区的环境气候是否与西部地区一样，有没有可能那儿更温暖，气温变化小，这也可能使得人少感冒。

2即使吃鱼能减少感冒，Ichthaid能起到和鱼一样的效果吗？虽然说鱼能够防止感冒，但这不意味着鱼油也能，更不能保证鱼油中的某种成份比如Ichthaid能有这样的效果。因为从鱼到鱼油再Ichthaid是一个提炼过程，论者没有提供证据证明防止感冒的因素都留在了Ichthaid里。因而这一前提不一定成立。

3即使每天吃Ichthaid能减少感冒，但作者也不能保证减少缺席率。（他因）
论者认为感冒是旷工最经常的理由，但是论者没有提供资料有多少旷的人是因为感冒，还是用感冒作为借口。

正文
In this argument, the author concludes that the daily use of Ichthaid can prevent colds and lower absenteeism in schools and workplaces. To support the conclusion, the author cites various evidences. However, this argument is logical flawed in several critical respects, which render it unconvincing as it stands.

First of all, the author cannot base on the study in nearby East Meria to assume that eating a substantial amount of fish can prevent colds. First, the fact that people in the East Meria visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of colds does not indicate that people there get only once or twice colds per year. It is entirely possible that people in the East Meria tend to treat colds by eating some pills, or have a good rest at home instead of going to see a doctor. After all, colds are not serious diseases. It is also perhaps that people in the West Meria are more willing to see a doctor when they get colds. If this is the case, perhaps the colds rate of West Meria is lower than East Meria's. Thus, the author cannot base on the study about the East Meria to draw any convincing conclusion. Moreover, even if the colds rate in the Eatst Meria is low, the author fails to consider differences between West and East might help to bring about different rate of colds. It is highly possible that the weather condition in the West is worse than that in the East. Or, perhaps people in the East like to do sports, while residents in the East prefer to stay at home, doing no physical exercise. Without accounting these possible dissimilarities, the author cannot establish a relationship between fish and low colds-rate in East Meria.

Secondly, given that eating fish can help prevent colds, the author fails to substantiate the further assumption that Ichthaid have the same function. Although Ichthaid is a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil, we are not informed that what substance in fish constribute to prevent colds. Perhaps some other elements in fish rather fish oil are the key matters that prevent colds. It is also possible that East Meria's resident cook fish in certain way, which generates some substance that is responsible for the lower colds rate. Unless the author provide suffice evidence to rule out these and other possible explanations, he cannot confidently assume that Ichthaid can help to prevent colds.

Finally, even one accepts that Ichaid can prevent colds, lower colds-rate can not ensure the dramatically decline in the frequency of absences. Fist, the author assumes that colds are the chief reason for absenteeism. Unfortunately, the author fails to consider the possibility that some people use colds as a pretext, and in fact, they absent for some other personal matters. For instance, they have to join a birthday party of an important friend; maybe they like to spend more time to take care of their children; or, perhaps they just do not want to go to work for the bad weather. If so, even the colds rate is low in West Meria, the frequency of absenteeism might not decrease dramatically.

To sum up, this argument is logically flawed and therefore unconvincing as it stands. To bolster the conclusion, the author should provide enough evidence that Ichthaid can help to prevent colds. To better assess the argument, we need more information about the real reason of the absences in West Meria.

bluecathyUID: 2231215

In this argument, the author concludes that the daily use of Ichthaid can prevent colds and lower absenteeism in schools and workplaces. To support the conclusion, the author cites various evidences. However, this argument is logical flawed in several critical respects, which render it unconvincing as it stands.

First of all, the author cannot base on the study in nearby East Meria to assume that eating a substantial amount of fish can prevent colds.[这句是比较典型的中文语序，建议改为the author cannot assume that eating a substantial amount of fish can prevent colds only based on study in nearby East Meria] First, the fact that people in the East Meria visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of colds does not indicate that people there get only once or twice colds per year. It is entirely possible that people in the East Meria tend to treat colds by eating some pills, or have[having] a good rest at home instead of going to see a doctor. After all, colds are not serious diseases. It is also perhaps[perhaps是副词，可换成probable或possible] that people in the West Meria are more willing to see a doctor when they get colds. If this is the case, perhaps the colds rate of West Meria is lower than East Meria's. Thus, the author cannot base on the study about the East Meria to draw any convincing conclusion. Moreover, even if the colds rate in the Eatst Meria is low, the author fails to consider [加that] differences between West and East might help to bring about different rate of colds. It is highly possible that the weather condition in the West is worse than that in the East. Or, perhaps people in the East like to do sports, while residents in the East prefer to stay at home, doing [换成and have] no physical exercise. Without accounting these possible dissimilarities, the author cannot establish a relationship between fish and low colds-rate in East Meria.

Secondly, given that eating fish can help prevent colds, the author fails to substantiate the further assumption that Ichthaid have[has] the same function. Although Ichthaid is a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil, we are not informed that what substance in fish constribute[contribute] to prevent colds. Perhaps some other elements in fish rather [than]fish oil are the key matters that prevent colds. It is also possible that East Meria's resident[residents] cook fish in certain way, which generates some substance that is responsible for the lower colds rate. [这点提得很好]Unless the author provide[provides] suffice[sufficient] evidence to rule out these and other possible explanations, he cannot confidently assume that Ichthaid can help to prevent colds.

Finally, even one accepts that Ichaid can prevent colds, lower colds-rate can not ensure the dramatically decline in the frequency of absences. Fist, the author assumes that colds are the chief reason for absenteeism. Unfortunately, the author fails to consider the possibility that some people use colds as a pretext, and in fact, they[they去掉] absent for some other personal matters. For instance, [加个maybe，与后面形成对应]they have to join a birthday party of an important friend; maybe they like to spend more time to take care of their children[这个理由有点牵强，想和孩子在一起就不上班了？或者说spend more time on taking care of their ailing children]; or, perhaps they just do not want to go to work for the bad weather. If so, even the colds rate is low in West Meria, the frequency of absenteeism might not decrease dramatically.

To sum up, this argument is logically flawed and therefore unconvincing as it stands. To bolster the conclusion, the author should provide enough evidence that Ichthaid can help to prevent colds. To better assess the argument, we need more information about the real reason[reasons] of the absences in West Meria.

本文行文流畅，错误挑得很仔细，用词也很好，字数也很多，这点我超级羡慕啊。是很成熟的argument文章了。但是最后所举的几个缺席的例子部分有点牵强，若写希望能想些更好的。作者还需注意的是第三人称单数，考试检查的时候最好能在这块多注意下。

怎么说呢，我觉得argument现在大家都渐渐上手能写一篇比较不错的了。但是问题就是大多程式化，怎么给它写得更个人，更出彩一点儿是个问题。这个大家都要努力啦：）