范文分析【自由女神小组第一次作业】

monkeydluffyUID: 2277631

范文分析【自由女神小组第一次作业】
Issue test 3
"Our declining environment may bring the people of the world together as no politician, philosopher, or war ever could.  Environmental problems are global in scope and respect no nation's boundaries.  Therefore, people are faced with the choice of unity and cooperation on the one hand or disunity and a common tragedy on the other."
6、
Cooperation---or Tragedy?

The solution to the world's growing environmental problems may have to wait awhile. It has been said that "environmental problems are global and respect no nation's boundaries."  （首句指出世界环境问题的解决可能还要等上一段时间，开门见山的提出自己的观点，并立刻引用原题的话，和原题紧密结合。）Unfortunately, pollution and its consequences still fall to large measure on those least likely to do anything about it: poor countries willing to sacrifice anything in order to sit at the table with the world's wealthy. （用穷国的态度表明现实的残酷性）

As far as the industrialized nations of the world are concerned, the world is a big place. Environmental destruction taking place outside their borders may sometimes be fodder for government pronouncements of concern, but few concrete actions.  Deforestation of the Amazon, for instance, is of vital concern to all those who wish to continue breathing. But the only effective deterrent to this activity,  the restriction of international aid money to those countries showing net deforestation, has been stalled in the United Nations by those unwilling to "interfere" in the internal politics of other nations.（分几个部分论述自己的观点，作者说明了现在的一个事实，即当地政府对别国的环境问题的态度——会有所担心但不太会采取行动。并举出实例）

Because of the differential impact of polluting activities around the world, and even in different regions of a single country, many governments will undoubtedly continue to promulgate only modest environmental regulations.  Costs to polluting companies will continue to carry as much weight as the benefit of a pollution-free environment. Particularly in the current political climate of the United States, the well-documented expense of today's pollution-control measures will be stacked against the unknown long-term effects of  polluting actitivities.  "Why should I spend millions of dollars a year, which causes me to have to raise the cost of my goods or eliminate jobs, if no one really knows if air pollution is all that harmful?  Show me the proof, " an air polluting company  may demand.（进一步分析环境问题无法全球统一解决的原因，指出治理环境的花费是一个大问题。通过引用一位公司人员的典型的话更加增加了论证的可信度并且给文章增色不少）

Realistically,  it won't be until critical mass is achieved that  the hoped for "choice of unity and cooperation" will be a viable one.  Only when the earth as a whole is so polluted that life itself becomes increasingly difficult for a majority of the world's people will there likely be the political will to force global environmental laws on governments worldwide.  But the optimists (read: environmental activists) among us continue to believe that the world can be shown the error of its ways.  They continue to point out that the sky is probably falling--or at least developing a big hole.  The world, as a whole, ignores them.（前面通过事实说明实现环境问题的解决还需要较长时间，这里通过猜测进行论证，丰富了自己论证的方式。并且更直接。）

One would hope, however, that governments, perhaps through a strengthened U.N., could somehow be forced to realize that when the Earth reaches the critical mass of pollution, it may be too late to do anything about it.  That would be a "common tragedy" indeed.（末尾加入tragedy一词，起到点题作用）。

这篇文章论证谨慎严密，语言丰富多彩，虽然自己的观点和原题有点不一致，但自始至终都没有离开原题，并且也不是简单的评述原题的话是对是错，我想这应该是issue的本质所在吧。


Argument
3------Topic: Silver Screen Movies
Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument.
The following is taken from a memo from the advertising director of the Silver Screen Movie Production Company.
"According to a recent report from our marketing department, fewer people attended movies produced by Silver Screen during the past year than in any other year.  And yet the percentage of generally favorable comments by movie reviewers about specific Silver Screen movies actually increased during this period.  Clearly, the contents of these reviews are not reaching enough of our prospective viewers; so the problem lies not with the quality of our movies but with the public's lack of awareness that movies of good quality are available.  Silver Screen should therefore spend more of its budget next year on reaching the public through advertising and less on producing new movies."

SAMPLE-1 (score 6)
The argument presented above is relatively sound, however, the author fails to recognize all the elements necessary to evaluate his situation.  The idea that more money be invested in advertising may be a helpful one, but perhaps not because people are unaware of the current reviews. （抓住原题得主要错误，这里是在部分肯定的基础上进行否定） To clarify, it may be necessary to advertise more in order to increase sales, however that could be due to many circumstances such as a decrease in the public's overall attendance, an increase in the cost of movies, or a lack of trust in the opinions of the reviewers.（指出正确的办法）

The advertising director first needs to determine the relative proportion of movie goers that choose to see Silver Screen films.  That will help him to understand his market share.  If the population in general is attending less, then he may still be out-profiting his competitors, despite his individual sales decrease.  In fact, his relative sales could be increasing.  Determining where he stands in his market will help him to create and implement an action plan.（指出首先要进行市场分析，从大体着手，从而制定自己的商业计划）

Another important thing to consider is the relative cost of attending movies to the current standard of living.  If the standard of living is decreasing, it may contribute to an overall decrease in attendance.  In that case, advertising could be very helpful, in that a clever campaign could emphasize the low cost of movies as compared to many other leisure activities.  This could offset financial anxieties of potential customers.（指出生活条件和看电影的关系）

Finally, it is important to remember that people rarely trust movie reviewers.  For that reason, it is important that the films appeal to the populus, and not critics alone.  The best advertisement in many cases is word of mouth.  No matter what critics say, people tend to take the opinions of friends more seriously.  This supports continual funding to produce quality movies that will appeal to the average person.（最后指出广告带来的宣传作用并不一定最好）

There is no reason that silver screen should not spend more on advertisement, however, there is reason to continue to invest in diverse, quality films.  Furthermore, the company must consider carefully what it chooses to emphasize in its advertisement.
这篇文章并没有具体指出原题犯了什么逻辑错误，只是抓住原题错误的因果关系，提出正确的改变看电影人少的解决办法。它最主要的特色就是问题分析的相当周到，它的形式也没有非常模板化，因此是一个很好的值得借鉴的范文