Issue17 【自由女神】小组作业第2次

seeseamailUID: 2208785

第二次作业（07.1.3）
There are two types of laws: just and unjust. Every individual in a society has a responsibility to obey just laws and, even more importantly, to disobey and resist unjust laws.
1. What's just and unjust laws
2. How to face just laws
3. How to treat unjust laws

Law, like air, exists anywhere in our daily life. We have been protected by kinds of laws since we were born; meanwhile, personal region is confined by laws till we die. So important law is that we can hardly pay no attention to it.

Generally, appropriate laws are recognized as just ones by public. However, what kind of laws should be defined as just or unjust? It is not easy to answer since absolute just laws never be in somewhere except brain. Tax is ensured by nation through laws, and money from tax supply aliment and power to the development of society. From this view of point, laws over tax should be considered as just ones. By contrast, some merchants may find that their own is less than their devotion and thus complain about tax. Here, we may define such laws as just ones: they protect general rights of throng, and conduct the right direction of the development of individuals as well as nations, albeit they may do harm to some people.

Those laws coordinate to the principles mentioned just now should be obeyed. Almost every constitution asserts that every body hold equally rights and obligation and anyone who disobey the constitution would be equally treated. Law recognized and thus obeyed by every individual ensures its reputation; on the other hand, fake laws which few people obey lead to an unstable society. As is discussed, no any law benefits everyone; those who have to lose some of their privileges through following laws will resist them by nature but need to support just laws by conscience science every individual have the responsibility to sustain the stability of the society.


On contrary, unjust laws arouse controversial disputes. They go around us like tumor, and usually they are backed by powerful strength and might. It is hardly to say cutting away tumor is better or not, which actually differs from one case to another and largely depends on health condition and tumor situation and so on. Laws always show to us its strict and unchangeable faces. Likely, If a unjust law only do harm to a few rights, we do not have to curse it every time. It is obvious that no one will go on to trust night laws which are quite different from morning ones science people lose their direction and confidence while laws lose their dignity and reputation. At the same time, severe change of laws will probably lead to even more severe change of weak society, which weakens more rights of throng. Without question, every one has the responsibility to meliorate old laws according to the circumstance of new ear, and disobey laws which is obviously unfair such as segregation and discrimination. But in most cases, stories do not go so easily. Fully consideration is needed before decision over laws is made.

In one word, laws must keep their power and dignity, and just laws ensure everybody keep their responsibilities to obey and trust them. Even more, unjust laws leave a space for us to ponder which the right direction is.


[ 本帖最后由 seeseamail 于 2007-1-6 11:15 编辑 ]

salfordUID: 2285528

Law, like air, exists anywhere in our daily life. We have been protected by kinds of laws since we were born; meanwhile, personal region is confined by laws till we die. So important law is that we can hardly pay no attention to it(开头有比喻，很新颖，并且开门见山提到了法律的重要性）.

Generally, appropriate laws are recognized as just ones by public. However, what kind of laws should be defined as just or unjust? （提出问题，引起读者继续往下读找答案）It is not easy to answer since absolute just laws never be in somewhere except brain. Tax is ensured by nation through laws, and money from tax supply aliment and power to the development of society（这句话有中文意思的痕迹，你自己生搬硬套给翻译过去）. From this view of point, laws over tax should be considered as just ones. By contrast, some merchants may find that their own is less than their devotion and thus complain about tax. Here, we may define such laws as just ones: they protect general rights of throng, and conduct the right direction of the development of individuals as well as nations, albeit they may do harm to some people.（这一段通过比较引出你对unjust and just laws的认识，但我总觉得有中文的痕迹，象我上面提到的）

Those laws coordinate to the principles mentioned just now should be obeyed. Almost every constitution asserts that every body hold equally rights and obligation and anyone who disobey the constitution would be equally treated. Law recognized and thus obeyed by every individual ensures its reputation; on the other hand, fake laws which few people obey lead to an unstable society. As is discussed, no any law（什么意思？） benefits everyone; those who have to lose some of their privileges through following laws will resist them by nature but need to support just laws by conscience science every individual have the responsibility to sustain the stability of the society.


On contrary, unjust laws arouse controversial disputes. They go around us like tumor, and usually they are backed by powerful strength and might. It is hardly to say cutting away tumor is better or not, which actually differs from one case to another and largely depends on health condition and tumor situation and so on（又一个比喻，看来是花了很大功夫在遣词造句.值得学习哦)  Laws always show to us its strict and unchangeable faces. Likely, If a unjust law only do harm to a few rights, we do not have to curse it every time. It is obvious that no one will go on to trust night laws which are quite different from morning ones science people lose their direction and confidence while laws lose their dignity and reputation. At the same time, severe change of laws will probably lead to even more severe change of weak society, which weakens more rights of throng. Without question, every one has the responsibility to meliorate old laws(s(是过时，应该被废弃的法律的意思吗？换另一个词代替old .) according to the circumstance of new ear, and disobey laws which is obviously unfair such as segregation and discrimination. But in most cases, stories do not go so easily. Fully consideration is needed before decision over laws is made.

In one word, laws must keep their power and dignity, and just laws ensure everybody keep their responsibilities to obey and trust them. Even more, unjust laws leave a space for us to ponder which the right direction is.(感觉结论出有草草了事，在深挖掘写点 ）

1，第一段开门见山告诉我们法律的重要性，但是我没有看到你的观点，虽然你在第二段有提到unjust and just law,但始终有不明确的地方。
2， 在很多小的细节上，看得出来你花了很多时间，遣词造句上，但是好像有中文的痕迹，即生搬硬套的翻译过去的。
（我的拙见，不妥之处请多多包涵，大家共同进步吗:)

hedou992UID: 2199425

Law, like air, exists anywhere in our daily life. We have been protected by kinds of laws since we were born; meanwhile, personal region这个词用在这是什么意思？ is confined by laws till we die. So important law is that we can hardly pay no放在word里显示这个no应该换成any attention to it.
开头段说法律很重要。但是并没有表明自己的观点啊。通常第一段都要明确表明自己观点的。ETS的满分范文基本都是这样，好像老美的思维习惯是如此。开头段不提出观点可能会对成绩有影响。
Generally, appropriate laws are recognized as just ones by public. However, what kind of laws should be defined as just or unjust? It is not easy to answer since absolute just laws never be in somewhere except brain. Tax is ensured by nation through laws, and money from tax supply aliment and power to the development of society. From this view of point, laws over tax should be considered as just ones. By contrast, some merchants may find that their own is less than their devotion and thus complain about tax. Here, we may define such laws as just ones: they protect general rights of throng, and conduct the right direction of the development of individuals as well as nations, albeit they may do harm to some people.
该段说了什么是just or unjust law，但是由于不知道你的观点到底是什么，所以也不知道该段是否服务于你的观点。

Those laws coordinate这个什么意思，是想用according to吧？ to the principles mentioned just now should be obeyed. Almost every constitution asserts that every body hold equally rights and obligation and anyone who disobey the constitution would be equally treated. Law recognized and thus obeyed by every individual ensures its reputation这句话应改为这样吧：Being recognized and thus obeyed by every individual ensures laws’ reputation; on the other hand, fake laws伪造的法律? which few people obey lead to an unstable society. As is discussed, no any law benefits everyone; those who have to lose some of their privileges through following laws will resist them by nature but need to support just laws by conscience science这应该加句号吧?前后是两个不同 句子 every individual have the responsibility to sustain the stability of the society.
该段是想说:要遵守公正的法律?主要意思表达不是很清楚.

On contrary, unjust laws arouse controversial disputes. They go around us like tumor, and usually they are backed by powerful strength and might. It is hardly to say cutting away tumor is better or not, which actually differs from one case to another and largely depends on health condition and tumor situation and so on. Laws always show to us its strict and unchangeable faces. Likely, if a unjust law only do harm to a few rights, we do not have to curse it every time. It is obvious that no one will go on to trust night laws which are quite different from morning ones science拼写错误吧? people lose their direction and confidence while laws lose their dignity and reputation. At the same time, severe change of laws will probably lead to even more severe change of weak society, which weakens more rights of throng. Without question有这样说的吗?是with no doubt吧?, every one has the responsibility to meliorate old laws according to the circumstance of new ear, and disobey laws which is obviously unfair such as segregation and discrimination. But in most cases, stories do not go so easily. Fully consideration is needed before decision over laws is made.
该段大意也不是很明确,是说要遵守还是违抗不公正的法律?还是先遵守再改进?

In one word, laws must keep their power and dignity, and just laws ensure everybody keep their responsibilities to obey and trust them. Even more, unjust laws leave a space for us to ponder which the right direction is.
结尾段说要遵守公正的法律,但是对不公正法律还是没有明确观点.

评论:由于开始没有明确提出观点,而在文中和最后都没再提全文观点,致使整篇文章缺少中心.显得有点乱.语言发面,有些单词拼错,有些语句好像不太通顺.
第一篇文章,大家水平都挺底的,希望再接再厉,共同努力.

seeseamailUID: 2208785

醍醐灌顶。确实有很多地方需要努力。

hemaUID: 2190745

不好意思，来迟了，大概改了一下

There are two types of laws: just and unjust. Every individual in a society has a responsibility to obey just laws and, even more importantly, to disobey and resist unjust laws.
1. What's just and unjust laws
2. How to face just laws
3. How to treat unjust laws

Law, like air, exists anywhere in our daily life. We have been protected by kinds of laws since we were born; meanwhile, personal region is confined by laws till we die. So important law is that we can hardly pay no attention to it.（开门见山且生动地点明laws在我们社会生活中的重要性）

Generally, appropriate laws are recognized as just ones by public. However, what kind of laws should be defined as just or unjust? It is not easy to answer since absolute just laws never be in somewhere except brain. Tax is ensured by nation through laws, and money from tax supply aliment and power to the development of society. From this view of point, laws over tax should be considered as just ones. By contrast, some merchants may find that their own is less than their devotion and thus complain about tax. Here, we may define such laws as just ones: they protect general rights of throng, and conduct the right direction of the development of individuals as well as nations, albeit they may do harm to some people.（花了挺长的文字表明了作者关于just和unjust的区分，但是似乎与题目不是很贴切，应该早点点明题意表明自己观点）

Those laws coordinate to the principles mentioned just now should be obeyed. （感觉很绕口）Almost every constitution asserts that every body hold equally rights and obligation and anyone who disobey the constitution would be equally treated.（个人感觉treat应该换成更好的词） Law recognized and thus obeyed by every individual ensures its reputation; on the other hand, fake laws which few people obey lead to an unstable society. As is discussed, no any law benefits everyone; those who have to lose some of their privileges through following laws will resist them by nature but need to support just laws by conscience science every individual have the responsibility to sustain the stability of the society. （应该是写要遵守just law，但是写的不清楚）


On contrary, unjust laws arouse（用cause会好点） controversial disputes. They go around us like tumor, and usually they are backed by powerful strength and might. It is hardly to say cutting away tumor is better or not, which actually differs from one case to another and largely depends on health condition and tumor situation and so on. Laws always show to us its strict and unchangeable faces. Likely, If a unjust law only do harm to a few rights, we do not have to curse it every time. It is obvious that no one will go on to trust night laws which are quite different from morning ones science people lose their direction and confidence while laws lose their dignity and reputation. At the same time, severe change of laws will probably lead to even more severe change of weak society, which weakens more rights of throng. Without question, every one has the responsibility to meliorate old laws according to the circumstance of new ear, and disobey laws which is obviously unfair such as segregation and discrimination. But in most cases, stories do not go so easily. Fully consideration is needed before decision over laws is made.（作者没有把自己的意图表达清楚，观点转了好几次）

In one word, laws must keep their power and dignity, and just laws ensure everybody keep their responsibilities to obey and trust them. Even more, unjust laws leave a space for us to ponder which the right direction is.
第一次写issue，问题多是好事，出现问题才可能有改进有进步