Issue56 自由女神小组 第3次作业

huzhUID: 2268429

题目：ISSUE56 - "Governments should focus more on solving the immediate problems of today rather than trying to solve the anticipated problems of the future."
字数：475          用时：上午 2:03:42          日期：2007-1-10

Nowadays, there are more and more problems we should solve. These problems we can display into two sorts, the first one is the immediate problems of today, another one is the anticipated problems of future. According to the title statement, the arguer suggests that governments should focus more on solving the immediate problems. But in my opinion, on contrast, I insist that when we focus more on the immediate problems of today, we also need to focus on the anticipated problems of the future.

Admittedly, the government should focus on the immediate problems. If the government ignore these immediate problems, the influence of the problems caused will be more and more serious. Such as the 911 incident, the poverty, the environment, and the unemployment. For example, when the 911 incident happened in the USA, thousands of people were injured and dead, the World Trade Center was ruined. The Bush government take many measures to deal with the terrorism. So we can image if t the government focus more on such problems, the consequence will not be the same. take unemployment for example, if the government can not deal with the unemployment, there will be more and more people go to cadge, the stealing and the highjacking will be the heaviest problems in the society. The government needs to solve the immediate problem as soon as possible.

However, the government can not ignore the anticipated problem of future while they focus on the immediate problems. Because the problems so-called "the anticipated problems" today will be the "immediate problems" of our offspring, or will come in several decades. If we don't prepare for the anticipated, it will be so late to deal with them when the problems appear. For example, the Energy, there are plenty of petroleum, and coal under the ground,  if we use up the energy there will be none left to our offspring because the energy  is non-renewable. Another example is the Population, the numbers of the population increases to fast which cause many problems such as short of energy, and unemployment. Above on this reasons the government also should focus on the anticipated problems.

There are many problems we can not completely solve immediately, it need many years and the effect of several generations to complete the task. Yet the example of the problems of environment pollution and the energy. When  using the energy, at the same time, we need to develop the new energy for our off springs. When polluting the environment, we should take many measures to reduce the pollution of environment.


In conclusion, to contrast immediate problems and the anticipated problems, on balance, the government focus on the immediate problems meanwhile they also should focus on the anticipated problem. The government should distinguish which is more important, we should focus more if the immediate problems are more important and vice versa.


56．提纲
Position: disagree
1.     应该承认，政府解决当务之急非常重要，如果不解决当前当务之急，可以影响发展。如贫困，恐怖主义terrorism，就业，环境，疾病。
Sample:911事件和sars
2. 与此同时，我们也不能忽视预期问题，因为，今天所谓的“长远问题”，将使我们子孙的“现实问题”，或者更快一些，是几十年后我们的“现实问题”。如果我们现在不做准备，到问题出现之后，再去解决，那有可能太迟了。如人口问题，能源问题等等。
Sample:石油和煤，中国的和印度的人口题，中国计划生育
3. 有些问题是要通过几代人的努力才能完成的。还是环境污染和能源这个问题例子。
Conclusion:要分清孰重孰轻。


第二次也，望大家指正！大牛们猛拍！

monkeydluffyUID: 2277631

Nowadays, there are more and more problems we should solve. These problems we can display into two sorts[语法、用词错误，建议改为the problems can be divided into two parts], the first one is the immediate problems of today[immediate 和 today 重复，建议去掉today], another one is the anticipated problems of future[同上]. According to the title statement, the arguer suggests that governments should focus more on solving the immediate problems. But in my opinion, on contrast, I insist that when we focus more on the immediate problems of today, we also need to focus on the anticipated problems of the future.[focus本来就有比较级的意思，没必要说focus more 或者focus less，不然显得有点中文化，建议改为we should also take the anticipated problems into consideration when we  focus on the immediate ones]

Admittedly, the government should focus on the immediate problems. [admittedly 有妥协的语气，建议改为undoubtedly]If the government ignore these immediate problems, the influence of the problems caused will be more and more serious.[建议和第一句和在一起用从句的形式，这样看上去简洁] Such as the 911 incident[建议改为terrorism，以和后面对应], the poverty, the environment, and the unemployment. For example, when the 911 incident[911事件不是这么表达的，911 terror attack] happened in the USA, thousands of people were injured and dead, the World Trade Center was ruined. The Bush government take many measures to deal with the terrorism. So we can image if t the government focus more on such problems, the consequence will not be the same.[应该是说如果不采取行动后果会多么严重吧] take unemployment for example, if the government can not deal with the unemployment[不能和不去解决不是一个概念], there will be more and more people go to cadge, [+and]the stealing and the highjacking will be the heaviest problems in the society. The government needs to solve the immediate problem as soon as possible.

However, the government can not ignore the anticipated problem of future while they focus on the immediate problems. Because the problems so-called "the anticipated problems" today will be the "immediate problems" of our offspring, or will come in several decades[建议改为because the anticipated problems today will be the immediate problems tomorrow]. If we don't prepare for the anticipated[这是形容词], it will be so late to deal with them when the problems appear. For example, the Energy, [这是两句话，逗号改句号]there are plenty of petroleum, [多了逗号]and coal under the ground,  if we use up the energy there will be none left to our offspring because the energy  is non-renewable. Another example is the Population, the numbers[单数] of the population increases to[so] fast which cause many problems such as short of energy, and unemployment. Above on this reasons the government also should focus on the anticipated problems.[能源问题和人口问题已经是现在的两大难题，不知说anticipated ones 是否合适，建议说成现在的能源危机和人口问题是以前不注意的结果]

There are many problems we can not completely solve immediately, [两句话，改为句号，另外还是建议用从句]it need many years and the effect of several generations to complete the task. Yet the example of the problems of environment pollution and the energy. When  using the energy, at the same time, we need to develop the new energy for our off springs. When polluting the environment, we should take many measures to reduce the pollution of environment.[这两个例子感觉无法政明这段话的论点，而且和上面的例子重复]

In conclusion, to contrast immediate problems and the anticipated problems, on balance, the government focus on the immediate problems meanwhile they also should focus on the anticipated problem. [这句话什么意思？]The government should distinguish which is more important, we should focus more if the immediate problems are more important and vice versa.[这里的意思是哪个问题重要就先解决哪个问题，这和文章的主旨在重点解决现有问题的基础上不忽视可能出现的问题是不是自相矛盾？]



[总体来说，文章思路还是比较清晰的，但字里行间的不该有错误似乎多了点。另外，论证可以更深入一点，例子可以更多一点，句式可以更简洁一点。以上是个人拙见，供参考]

[ 本帖最后由 monkeydluffy 于 2007-1-15 11:29 编辑 ]