Argument117 graduate06--Hamming组 自己的第11篇Argument

graduate06UID: 2223299

WORDS:  483        TIME:  35:00          DATE: 2007-1-9
117 - The following is a memo from the business manager of Valu-Mart stores.

"Over 70 percent of the respondents to a recent survey reported that they are required to take more work home with them from the workplace than they were in the past. Since Valu-Mart has not seen impressive sales in its office-supply departments in the past, we should take advantage of this work-at-home trend by increasing at all Valu-Mart stores the stock of home office machines such as printers, small copy machines, paper shredders, and fax machines. We will also increase stock of office supplies such as paper, pens, and staplers. With these changes, our office-supply departments will become the most profitable component of our stores."

最近一次调查超过70％的回应者报告说他们被要求回家完成的工作量比以前多。由于Valu-Mart在过去并没有发现办公用品部销量的显著上升，我们应该利用这种在家办公的趋势，在所有Valu-Mart商店增加家庭办公机器比如打印机、小型复印机、碎纸机和传真机的存货。我们也将增加办公用品比如纸笔和钉书机的存货。通过这些变革，我们办公用品部将会成为我们商店中盈利最多的部门。

提纲：
论据
1 survey 调查范围，代表性，相应人数方面进行攻击
2 因果关系（隐含）销量没有显著上升是因为存货不多
结论：
3 因果关系错：变革=\=> 我们的商店成为赢利最多的部门
WORDS:  483        TIME:  35:00          DATE: 2007-1-9

The argument's conclusion that the office-supply departments of Valu-Mart should increase the stock of office machines in order to increase their profit seems as an apparent conclusion at first glance. However, careful scrutiny of the evidence and the reasoning line of the argument reveals that the 多the author provides little support to the conclusion. First, the process and result of the survey provided are incomplete. The manager also assumes that the stock of home office machines and office supplies is insufficient. The argument's conclusion is premature as well.

The threshold problem of the argument is the incompleteness of the survey. What is the field of the survey conducted? The whole country, or some states. Perhaps, the survey was conducted in certain states but not the market of Valu-Mart stores. If so, the result of the survey is useless to the manager’s company. Even if the area of the survey is not the market of Valu-Mart stores, or perhaps only one tenth of all the local workers replied to the survey. If so, the result cannot typify the attitude of general workers, let alone the result is from the respondents. If the case is like this, any reasoning on the basis of the survey is untenable.

Even if the survey is reliable, the author also assumes that stock of home office machines and office supplies is insufficient on the basis of the evidence that the sales of office-supply department have not increase remarkably. Without firm evidence to support this conclusion, it is entirely possible some other company' sales increased rapidly recently. Perhaps, about the same goods, some other company sell lower price and provide better after-sale services than the manager's stores. Without examining and ruling out such case the author cannot convince me that the conclusion is persuasive.

Even if the assumption mentioned above is existed, the argument's conclusion is too absolute to be true. The profit depends on the cost and revenue. Without such information, it is likely that the cost of office supplies is very high, and approaches to the price of sale. There is little margin between the cost and the price. Even if the profit is very high, perhaps some other departments’ profits are higher than the office-supply department. In this case, the conclusion of the argument is unconvincing.

In sum, the conclusion of the survey, which seems logical at first, has several flaws as discussed above. To strengthen it, the author must provide more details of the survey such as the areas of the survey conducted and the number of the people who involved in the survey and so forth. To better evaluate the argument we also need to know that why the sales of in its office-supply departments have not increased strikingly. To better evaluate the argument we also need to know the exact number of the possible profit of the office-supply departments and all other departments.

大家都加油啊！！

graduate06UID: 2223299

WORDS:  490              DATE: 2007-1-13
我自己改了一下，对中间有些不顺的地方进行了修改
The argument's conclusion that the office-supply departments of Valu-Mart should increase the stock of office machines in order to increase their profit seems as an apparent conclusion at first glance. However, careful scrutiny of the evidence and the reasoning line of the argument reveals that the author provides little support to the conclusion. First, the process and result of the survey provided are incomplete. The manager also assumes that the stock of home office machines and office supplies is insufficient. The argument's conclusion is premature as well.

The threshold problem of the argument is that the manager fails to provide complete information about the survey. What is the field of the survey conducted? The whole country, or some states. Perhaps, the survey was conducted in certain states but not the market of Valu-Mart stores. If so, the result of the survey is useless to the manager’s company. Even if these areas of the survey are indeed the markets of Valu-Mart stores, or perhaps there are only dozens of workers participated in the survey. If so, the result cannot typify the attitude of general workers of the areas, let alone the result is from the respondents. If the case is like this, any reasoning on the basis of the survey is untenable.

Even if the survey is reliable, the author also assumes that stock of home office machines and office supplies is insufficient on the basis of the evidence that the sales of office-supply departments have not increase remarkably. Without firm evidence to support this conclusion, it is entirely possible some other company' sales increased rapidly recently. Perhaps, about the same goods, some companies’ price is lower and after-sales services are better than the manager's stores. Without examining and ruling out such case the author cannot convince me that the conclusion is persuasive.

Even if the assumption mentioned above is existed, the argument's conclusion is too absolute to be true. The profit depends on the cost and revenue. Without such information, it is equally possible that the cost of office supplies is very high, and approaches to the price of sale. There is little margin between the cost and the price. Even if the sales of office supplies are profitable, perhaps some other departments’ profits are higher than the office-supply department. In this case, the conclusion of the argument is unconvincing.

In sum, the conclusion of the survey, which seems logical at first, has several flaws as discussed above. To strengthen it, the author must provide more details of the survey such as the areas of the survey conducted and the number of the people who involved in the survey and so forth. To better evaluate the argument we also need to know that why the sales of in its office-supply departments have not increased strikingly. To better evaluate the argument we also need to know the exact number of the possible profit of the office-supply departments and all other departments.

liquidshileUID: 2254332

The argument's conclusion that the office-supply departments of Valu-Mart should increase the stock of office machines in order to increase their profit seems as an apparent conclusion at first glance. However, careful scrutiny of the evidence and the reasoning line of the argument reveals that the author provides little support to the conclusion. First, the process and result of the survey provided are incomplete. The manager also assumes that the stock of home office machines and office supplies is insufficient. The argument's conclusion is premature as well. [三个错误的TS不错]The threshold problem of the argument is that the manager fails to provide complete information about the survey. What is the field of the survey conducted? The whole country, or some states. Perhaps, the survey was conducted in certain states but not the market of Valu-Mart stores. If so, the result of the survey is useless to the manager’s company. Even if these areas of the survey are indeed the markets of Valu-Mart stores, or perhaps there are only dozens of workers participated in the survey. If so, the result cannot typify the attitude of general workers of the areas, let alone the result is from the respondents. If the case is like this, any reasoning on the basis of the survey is untenable.Even if the survey is reliable, the author also assumes that stock of home office machines and office supplies is insufficient on the basis of the evidence that the sales of office-supply departments have not increase remarkably. Without firm evidence to support this conclusion, it is entirely possible some other company' sales increased rapidly recently. Perhaps, about the same goods, some companies’ price is lower and after-sales services are better than the manager's stores. Without examining and ruling out such case the author cannot convince me that the conclusion is persuasive. Even if the assumption mentioned above is existed, the argument's conclusion is too absolute to be true. The profit depends on the cost and revenue. Without such information, it is equally possible that the cost of office supplies is very high, and approaches to the price of sale. There is little margin between the cost and the price. Even if the sales of office supplies are profitable, perhaps some other departments’ profits are higher than the office-supply department. In this case, the conclusion of the argument is unconvincing.In sum, the conclusion of the survey, which seems logical at first, has several flaws as discussed above. To strengthen it, the author must provide more details of the survey such as the areas of the survey conducted and the number of the people who involved in the survey and so forth. To better evaluate the argument we also need to know that why the sales of in its office-supply departments have not increased strikingly. To better evaluate the argument we also need to know the exact number of the possible profit of the office-supply departments and all other departments.

现在的Argument机会没什么可改得了，都这么好/改issue去