issue41 [米国有米]第1次作业 ,新来的,请大家多多指点啊.必回拍,谢谢

IloveMorganUID: 2209413

I partially disagree with the speaker's assertion,because of that supernatual pursuit can satisify human needs that are not adressed by mainstream science,but it plays a less important role thant mainstream science.
  To begin with,astrology, fortune-telling and psychic and paranormal pursuits actually have some benefits.For example,  from the social regulation way,psychic and paranomal pursuits have its benefits. If a man do many harmful things to our society and laws can not give us a solution to this problem,how can we do? If we don't stop him, others will feel uncertainty about there living circumstance,if we do, laws prohibited.Then we can use psychic and paranormal way to explain it as he after death must be go to hell,live a terrible circumstance, and people do things benefical to us will live a wonderful,and better life than him.So comfort others anxious,  comfort human's heart or give people some spiritual bailment,  which maybe cannot do by mainstream science. Take astrology as another example. It is often popular among young people.  When someone is crossed in love, after he finds his and his lover's constellations are not match,  he will tell himself that the failure is predeterminate and then feels much better. Similarly, psychic and paranormal pursuits,  which seem different from astrology and fortune-telling, also can play the same role in satisfying human needs. For instance, when one is immersed in great grief of relative's death,  if he comforts himself that there are "preexistence" and "future life", and he will meet his relative again at another world sooner or later, he will not be so grieved any more.
   on the other hand,  although nonmainstream areas of inquiry have such advantage,  we cannot overlook its great disadvantage taken to individuals and society.  In fact, these nonmainstream areas are baseless and have no proof.  For individuals, if they are indulged in such things, they will loss the interests to explore truths; in some extreme case, their activities even can hurt others. F or the whole society, if such fetishes are utilized by some politicians or some people that have ulterior motives,  it will cause instability of the society,  or even result in drastic political battle, and actually the most people is inculpable.  For example,  several years before,  there was an illegal organization in China, which blazoned forth that after cultivating its doctrine,  it could cure any disease and need not go to hospital.  Lots of people trusted the fallacy infatuatedly and performed many craze activities; moreover, many people lost their lives because of the doctrine and the stabilization of whole society was also influenced dramatically.

  To sum up,  as a saying said that every thing has two sides,  so we cannot conclude nonmainstream areas is important to society just depending on its limited merit and neglect its great defect.  In fact, these areas should not be emphasized,  and on the contrary, we should sparkplug to away these things step by step and encourage people to explore truths and face realities.

[ 本帖最后由 IloveMorgan 于 2007-1-17 14:05 编辑 ]

laner023UID: 2223653

标点符号后面要空一格的吧

IloveMorganUID: 2209413

改了,希望大家多提宝贵意见啊...尤其是文章结构,逻辑方面的,谢谢了.

blackswitchUID: 2110679

I partially disagree with the speaker's assertion,[什么观点？最好可以简洁列出 ]because of that supernatural pursuit can satisify[satisfy] human needs that are not addressed[addressed] by mainstream science,but it plays a less important role thant[than] mainstream science.[这段作者表明了自己的观点，但but 后面的内容一般是更强调的内容，但是在后文这一点并没有得到论证，所以作者可以在首段改变一种说法]
  To begin with, astrology, fortune-telling and psychic and paranormal pursuits actually have some benefits[作为这一段的thesis,我觉得benefits大了点，空了点，最好可以限定一下，如在哪些方面有benefits]. For example,  from the social regulation way[aspect], psychic and paranormal  pursuits have its benefits. If a man do many harmful things to our society and laws can not give us a solution to this problem, how can we do? If we don't stop him, others will feel uncertainty about there[their] living circumstance, if we do, laws prohibited.Then we can use psychic and paranormal way to explain it as he after death must be go to hell,live a terrible circumstance, and people do things benefical to us will live a wonderful,and better life than him.So comfort others anxious,  comfort human's heart or give people some spiritual bailment,  which maybe cannot do by mainstream science.[前面作者只是笼统地说了一种情况，如果可以将这个例子具体话，文章的说服力会更强一些] Take astrology as another example. It is often popular among young people.  When someone is crossed in love, after he finds his and his lover's constellations are not match,  he will tell himself that the failure is predeterminate and then feels much better. Similarly, psychic and paranormal pursuits,  which seem different from astrology and fortune-telling, also can play the same role in satisfying human needs. For instance, when one is immersed in great grief of relative's death,  if he comforts himself that there are "preexistence" and "future life", and he will meet his relative again at another world sooner or later, he will not be so grieved any more.[这个例子就很具体，很好]
   on the other hand,  although nonmainstream areas of inquiry have such advantage,  we cannot overlook its great disadvantage taken to individuals and society.[这个thesis就写得好，看后就知道作者将从两方面来论证disadvantage]  In fact, these nonmainstream areas are baseless and have no proof.  For individuals, if they are indulged in such things, they will loss the interests to explore truths; in some extreme case, their activities even can hurt others. F or the whole society, if such fetishes are utilized by some politicians or some people that have ulterior motives,  it will cause instability of the society,  or even result in drastic political battle, and actually the most people is inculpable.  For example,  several years before,  there was an illegal organization in China, which blazoned forth that after cultivating its doctrine,  it could cure any disease and need not go to hospital.  Lots of people trusted the fallacy infatuatedly and performed many craze activities; moreover, many people lost their lives because of the doctrine and the stabilization of whole society was also influenced dramatically.[例子用的很恰当]

  To sum up,  as a saying said that every thing has two sides,  so we cannot conclude nonmainstream areas is important to society just depending on its limited merit and neglect its great defect.  In fact, these areas should not be emphasized,  and on the contrary, we should sparkplug to away these things step by step and encourage people to explore truths and face realities.

[全文结构安排合理，中心较明确，在句子的表达上还需要进一步的加强。如果是限时作文，那就已经很不错了]