ISSUE11 global university

biess330UID: 2188313

题目：ISSUE11 - "All nations should help support the development of a global university designed to engage students in the process of solving the world's most persistent social problems."
字数：268   629       用时：上午 12:56:15          日期：2007-1-13

Whether all nations should help support the development of a global university in order to solving worldwide crisis problem or not? By scrutinizing this question, i fundamentally agree that it is necessary for all nation support to design a global university to propel the entire event in a right track.

To begin with, a global university offers us a proper platform to solving the world's most persistent and completed problems that nearly all the nation must confront indispensable. On the one hand, even thought different nation have different backgrounds or situations, they, undoubtedly, have the common elements; since most of them have the same goal to make maximum benefit and get greatly progress in economy, science, art, medicine and so forth. In this case, they could find a common ground and reach a consensus in the human world. On the other hand, their unique character impel them to anal size the facts which are from different perspectives, and which might help to broaden the scope and avoid some narrow views; only by considering most aspects completely, can we make a better agreement and benefit the human beings.

Beside, a global university provide the entire nation an opportunities to communicate and cooperation more effectively and efficiently. Distinct country could use their special resources and aptitudes to solving some technologic problem. There is an apt illustration that will furnish this pinion. In February 2002, the Human Genome Project completed the sequencing of the human genome "completed map". This significant project including Unite Stated, British, Japan, France, German and China, as a milestone in the annals of the science and technology in human beings. This success of human genome project gradually evolves into a major international scientific and technological cooperation. From this event, we might conduce that it might be consequentially add more chances and opportunities to promote the development of the global village. Hence, a global university is a catalyst to accelerate the development of human beings.

In addition, a global university also provides an equal and open platform to mitigate the conflicts among different nations.  After all, numerous controversies, recourses, rights, environment problems and the conflicts of the culture, spoil the relationship among the countries. If we do not take the immediate measurement, the conflict might be more intensive. Accordingly, setting a global university designed to engage students in the process of solving the world's most persistent social problems might be wisdom decision. After all, university students are the hope of the future and the master of the world in the near future.

However, even a global university could offer these advantages, which I have already mentioned above, we should not go too far to ignore some problems involve in the global university itself. First, some race and region discrimination, parochial problem, religion belief and so forth. Second, some attitudes with the nations might be not neglect objective faces for their different proposes and interests. So, global universities, if we neglect these aspects, properly poses certain risks that undermine even exacerbate some impelling international problems. In this sense, we should comply with sever principle, share all the mutual fruitions equally, avoid some negatives influence in the process of the communicating in the global university.

Admittedly, humans face certain universal and timeless problems, which seems not deal with in a long run. These sorts of problems, which are war, greed, aggressive, are one that stem from the innate instinct and desire of the human beings. We have never been able to solve social problems, at least in the near future, such as homelessness and huger because we are droved by self-interest.

To sum up, we should build a global university designed to help solve the persistent social problems as long as be careful not be involved in some negative situation.

nostrumUID: 2124189

ISSUE11 global university
题目：ISSUE11 - "All nations should help support the development of a global university designed to engage students in the process of solving the world's most persistent social problems."
字数：268   629       用时：上午 12:56:15          日期：2007-1-13

Whether all nations should help support the development of a global university in order to solving worldwide crisis problem or not? By scrutinizing this question, i fundamentally agree that it is necessary for all nation support to design a global university to propel the entire event in a right track.
批评一下开头，懒惰了，这个开头是随便拿到任何一篇issue里都可以，提问重复题目内容，简单的agree或者disagree，主题句仅仅是题目的改写。
不用说ETS的教授们，准备过一次AW以后，我现在看到这样的开头有点想睡觉的意思，一眼看到底，强烈建议lz在开头上下点功夫。我提倡的开头是稍微介绍一下本文的展开背景，然后明确的摆出自己的观点，同时体现分论点。

To begin with, a global university offers us a proper platform to solving the world's most persistent and completed problems that nearly all the nation must confront indispensable. On the one hand, even thought different nation have different backgrounds or situations, they, undoubtedly, have the common elements; since most of them have the same goal to make maximum benefit and get greatly progress in economy, science, art, medicine and so forth. In this case, they could find a common ground and reach a consensus in the human world. On the other hand, their unique character impel them to anal size the facts which are from different perspectives, and which might help to broaden the scope and avoid some narrow views; only by considering most aspects completely, can we make a better agreement and benefit the human beings.
后面两个观点角度都不错，但是跟主题句不搭调。主题句是“global大学提供了一个平台解决所有国家都必须面临的问题”针对后面的内容，主题句应该这样改：global大学能够发挥价值原因在于1，不同国家share相同的elements。 2，提供相互了解交流的机会。体现着两个意思才称得上是主题句
Beside, a global university provide the entire nation an opportunities to communicate and cooperation more effectively and efficiently. Distinct country could use their special resources and aptitudes to solving some technologic problem. There is an apt illustration that will furnish this pinion. In February 2002, the Human Genome Project completed the sequencing of the human genome "completed map". This significant project including Unite Stated, British, Japan, France, German and China, as a milestone in the annals of the science and technology in human beings. This success of human genome project gradually evolves into a major international scientific and technological cooperation. From this event, we might conduce that it might be consequentially add more chances and opportunities to promote the development of the global village. Hence, a global university is a catalyst to accelerate the development of human beings.
本段写得不错

In addition, a global university also provides an equal and open platform to mitigate the conflicts among different nations.  After all, numerous controversies, recourses, rights, environment problems and the conflicts of the culture, spoil the relationship among the countries. If we do not take the immediate measurement, the conflict might be more intensive. Accordingly, setting a global university designed to engage students in the process of solving the world's most persistent social problems might be wisdom decision. After all, university students are the hope of the future and the master of the world in the near future.
这一段是不是跟bogy1的第一层意思重复了呢？

However, even a global university could offer these advantages, which I have already mentioned above, we should not go too far to ignore some problems involve in the global university itself. First, some race and region discrimination, parochial problem, religion belief and so forth. Second, some attitudes with the nations might be not neglect objective faces for their different proposes and interests. So, global universities, if we neglect these aspects, properly poses certain risks that undermine even exacerbate some impelling international problems. In this sense, we should comply with sever principle, share all the mutual fruitions equally, avoid some negatives influence in the process of the communicating in the global university.
本段的问题在于，没有展开论述，点到了几个方面，但是点到为止，没有进一步的展开。不提倡这样的写法，建议选择一个角度，然后把问题分析清楚

Admittedly, humans face certain universal and timeless problems, which seems not deal with in a long run. These sorts of problems, which are war, greed, aggressive, are one that stem from the innate instinct and desire of the human beings. We have never been able to solve social problems, at least in the near future, such as homelessness and huger because we are droved by self-interest.
最后这一段跟本题关系比较松散，建议去掉，把精力集中在上面三个段落的充实上
To sum up, we should build a global university designed to help solve the persistent social problems as long as be careful not be involved in some negative situation.

结尾太简单了，至少对文章的三个意思都做一次总结。

Lz是重考，首先仰视一下重考得决心和勇气，这个决定不是很轻松就能下的。
有了一次基础，lz对论述角度的选择及展开都具备了一定的能力，前面body部分几个段落写得都不错，主要需要提高的地方在于：
1，        强化写开头跟结尾的能力。开头跟结尾其实是可以设置套路的，但是不是lz这样的处理方法，lz对待开头跟结尾的态度有些太轻松了，建议按照分类整理相应的开头跟结尾
2，        强化写主题句的能力。主题句的重要性是毋庸置疑的，既然是统领后面的内容，那么务必跟后面的论述相符合。

biess330UID: 2188313

谢谢版主