Issue152 ScorpionSky--Hamming组 over~~谁来拍??自己认为写的还不错的

ScorpionSkyUID: 2273954

TOPIC: ISSUE152 - "The only responsibility of corporate executives, provided they stay within the law, is to make as much money as possible for their companies."
WORDS: 328          TIME: 上午 12:45:00          DATE: 2007-1-18
框框里的词不要!
The speaker asserts that it is the only one responsibility* of a business executive* to make business profits maximum. On the one hand, no one can deny that being a corporate executive to make as much as possible money is a basic duty for maintain* functions of the company. On the other hand, one who wants* to be a excellent corporate executive must consider other significant obligations about his employees, society, and his company's other aspects--aside from earning money—to create a comfortable atmosphere or to set a good popular image of the corporation, for typical examples.

To the beginning*, keeping* a peace is a fundamental* demand to an eligible business executive. When it comes to individual corruption, for instance, misappropriate public money, which not only violate others interests* but also ultimately* turn in broken down the executive's individual development in the future. Of course, making money is a matter which takes* corporate advantages in crucial competitive market, and benefits its workers and stockholders, even society as a whole.

However, earning money should not be the only one duty of an outstanding leader of company. The money must be used in a proper way, besides to pleasure the unique boss but had better to consider all of the employees’ interests. Because the one of executive could be maximum profits by a legal way, meanwhile, which maybechallenging the workers’ physical extremes. He could be ignored all complaints from the men who serving the same one company as he doing, and he also might be consider without the worse condition aspheres of the work places. Such a careless conduct with those workers obviously is not a respected business leader should do.

As for the employees, who are working under the orders of such a leader, it must be considered as a night mare. Even to certain wise bosses and stockholders that this executive also not an eligible manager of corporative. In today’s rapid changing world, while technologies developing in a surprised speed, and more and more new acknowledges emerged, workers never before need to renew their skills and knowledge constantly. Moreover, the corporative are in dire need of high-tech owned workers(如何表达更好？). An executive who is only drop himself in earning money and considerable weak in recognizing human resource and significant ignoring retrain workers for enhance abilities is hard to run a long way.

As well as, to the corporative, making profits is not the unique responsibility of an executive. In some sense, from a future point of view, to build up a good popular image of the corporation is beyond the importance of short period earning profits. If his corporation encountered some expanding opportunities or occasional events, the executive is also expected capable to catch such opportunity and afford the majority of responsibility to create the corporation popular image. Consider, for instance, during World War II (1939-1945), Robert Woodruff, selected Coke-Cola president in 1923, who put more of the company’s resources into market research than into manufacturing Coke, boosted Coke’s popular image in the United States by pledging that his company would provide Coke to every U.S. soldier.

Finally, after discusses above, we can safely draw a conclusion that an eligible as well as excellent corporative executive not only needed master skills of making money, but also expected possess of other responsibilities to concern the employees’ welfares, the corporative popular image and so forth. Of course, the more such corporative executives, the more pubic will be benefited. Because the talented leaders of enterprises always contribute vital powers to economy development of society.

[ 本帖最后由 ScorpionSky 于 2007-1-22 00:28 编辑 ]

liquidshileUID: 2254332

ScorpionSkyUID: 2273954

呵呵，可以帮我改下,先谢谢了

liquidshileUID: 2254332

ISSUE152 - "The only responsibility of corporate executives, provided they stay within the law, is to make as much money as possible for their companies."
WORDS: 328          TIME: 上午 12:45:00          DATE: 2007-1-18框框里的词不要!
The speaker asserts that it is the only one responsibility* of a business executive* to make business profits maximum. On the one hand, no one can deny that being a corporate executive to make as much as possible money is a basic duty for maintain* functions of the company. On the other hand, one who wants* to be a excellent corporate executive must consider other significant obligations about his employees, society, and his company's other aspects--aside from earning money—to create a comfortable atmosphere or to set a good popular image of the corporation, for typical examples. 开头不错

To the beginning*, keeping* a peace？什么意思？和平？ is a fundamental* demand to an eligible business executive. When it comes to individual corruption, for instance, misappropriate public money, which not only violate others interests* but also ultimately* turn in broken down the executive's individual development in the future. Of course, making money is a matter which takes* corporate advantages in crucial competitive market, and benefits its workers and stockholders, even society as a whole. 开头那个词错的太是地方了，整段我都不知道你要说什么了？

However, earning money should not be the only one duty of an outstanding leader of company. The money must be used in a proper way, besides to pleasure the unique boss but had better to consider all of the employees’ interests. Because the one of executive could be maximum profits by a legal way, meanwhile, which maybe challenging the workers’ physical extremes. He could be ignored all complaints from the men who serving the same one company as he doing, and he also might be consider without the worse condition atmosphere of the work places. Such a careless conduct with those workers obviously is not a respected business leader should do. 没啥问题在给个 wisesoft 的例子就更好了，哈哈
As for the employees, who are working under the orders of such a leader, it must be considered as a night mare. Even to certain wise bosses and stockholders that this executive also not an eligible manager of corporative. In today’s rapid changing world, while technologies developing in a surprised speed, and more and more new acknowledges emerged, workers never before need to renew their skills and knowledge constantly. Moreover, the corporative are in dire need of high-tech owned workers(如何表达更好？). An executive who is only drop himself in earning money and considerable weak in recognizing human resource and significant ignoring retrain workers for enhance abilities is hard to run a long way. 这段还是接的上面
As well as, to the corporative, making profits is not the unique responsibility of an executive. In some sense, from a future point of view, to build up a good popular image of the corporation is beyond the importance of short period earning profits. If his corporation encountered some expanding opportunities or occasional events, the executive is also expected capable to catch such opportunity and afford the majority of responsibility to create the corporation popular image. Consider, for instance, during World War II (1939-1945), Robert Woodruff, selected Coke-Cola president in 1923, who put more of the company’s resources into market research than into manufacturing Coke, boosted Coke’s popular image in the United States by pledging that his company would provide Coke to every U.S. soldier. 这个例子用的很好，非常贴切

Finally, after discusses above, we can safely draw a conclusion that an eligible as well as excellent corporative executive not only needed master skills of making money, but also expected possess of other responsibilities to concern the employees’ welfares, the corporative popular image and so forth. Of course, the more such corporative executives, the more pubic will be benefited. The talented leaders of enterprises always contribute vital powers to economy development of society.

整篇就是有一个问题：你看看题目和你的开头，你开头都写了make money maximized, 后面三段都没提到？严重的失误。做为你的重要分论点你怎么能不说呢，要不就把那句去掉。但我想那样不好写


[ 本帖最后由 liquidshile 于 2007-2-6 21:41 编辑 ]

xinzhisuoxiangUID: 2303139

兄弟，小心