Issue130 【南智组 luckychina第十五次作业】

luckychinaUID: 2131861

TOPIC: ISSUE130 - "How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."
WORDS: 456          TIME: 0:45:00          DATE: 2007-1-17

Does the socialization of children determine the destiny of society? Have we found out efficient methods to raise children who can help bring about a better society? As far as I am concern, the speaker has aggregated the socialization of children, which is foundermental though, as the determinant of the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we fail to raise children efficiently.

Admittedly, the socialization of children exerts very important role on the destiny of the society.
As we know, children, young and flexible in their characteristics as well, is the future of a society and how they are socialized today is of importance. Take campus where children spend most of their charitable childhood, studying with classmates and playing with teammates, for example. A boy have to request to his senior classmates when willing to take part in a football game, to cooperate with his strange teammates when struggling for a goal, and to negotiate with his enemies when having conflicts with them. These abilities-requestion, cooperation and negotiation- developed on campus seemingly by accident help children better performances after graduation.

Significant as the socialization of children is, however, it is more than too rash to conclude that how children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Still a lot of characristics exist. To understand this point well, one needs look no further than Nash, one of the greatest scientists in our contemporary society. Exclusive from the mundane world and not well socialized with other people, Nash is indulged and immerse in his scientific field with diligence, concentration and tolerance and makes great contribution to the society. This telling example illustrates that as a result of other factors, the extent to which the children are socialized might be of little significance.

However, realizing the importance of the socialization is one thing, taking it into effort and doing it well is another. We may usually go to two extremes. On the one hand, sometimes, we may overstate the importance of the socialization of children. Born like an empty piece of paper on which people could write anything, children are likely to be too early to become social climbers, keeping a mask on their originally genuine face at any time. While on the other hand, we may go to another extreme to overemphasize their intelligence. Parents would consider the academic scores as the only element for entering to the competitive society. In fact, nobody would like to see any of these miserable destinies of children. Therefore, we have to socialize children in a proper extence.

In sum, only would children who are both socialized and intelligent determine the destiny of the society. And public has to be rational to cultivate children in a proper way, without going to any extreme.

alive1986UID: 2241739

Does the socialization of children determine the destiny of society? Have we found out efficient methods to raise children who can help bring about a better society? As far as I am concern(语法错), the speaker has aggregated the socialization of children, which is foundermental though, as the determinant of the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we fail to raise children efficiently.

Admittedly, the socialization of children exerts very important role on the destiny of the society.
As we know, children, young and flexible in their characteristics as well, is the future of a society and how they are socialized today is of importance. Take campus where children spend most of their charitable childhood, studying with classmates and playing with teammates, for example. A boy have to request to his senior classmates when willing to take part in a football game, to cooperate with his strange teammates when struggling for a goal, and to negotiate with his enemies when having conflicts with them. These abilities-requestion, cooperation and negotiation- developed on campus seemingly by accident help children better performances after graduation. 这段强调了社会化的重要性，但社会化的定义还需要恰当的诠释，后面的例子可以体现，但结束的时候应说明在学校的学习可以提高孩子的社会化程度，以照应本段TS。

Significant as the socialization of children is, however, it is more than too rash to conclude that how children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Still a lot of characristics exist. To understand this point well, one needs look no further than Nash, one of the greatest scientists in our contemporary society. Exclusive from the mundane world and not well socialized with other people, Nash is indulged and immerse in his scientific field with diligence, concentration and tolerance and makes great contribution to the society. This telling example illustrates that as a result of other factors（应当具体指明有哪些fact，diligence, concentration and tolerance ）, the extent to which the children are socialized might be of little significance.

However, realizing the importance of the socialization is one thing, taking it into effort and doing it well is another. We may usually go to two extremes. On the one hand, sometimes, we may overstate the importance of the socialization of children. Born like an empty piece of paper on which people could write anything， children are likely to be too early to become social climbers, keeping a mask on their originally genuine face at any time.,（比方打的好！） While on the other hand, we may go to another extreme to overemphasize their intelligence. Parents would consider the academic scores as the only element for entering to the competitive society. （这两个极端不知道有什么联系，如果说是极端那两极端的中间又是什么呢？）In fact, nobody would like to see any of these miserable destinies of children. Therefore, we have to socialize children in a proper extence.这段你是不是想表达“我们还没有学会教孩子怎么样去建设一个更好的社会，或是实现社会化”这层意思？虽然从本段TS里能看出这点，但感觉不够直观，要加强它，还应当在TS上加以补充，并在结尾照应。

In sum, only would children who are both socialized and intelligent determine the destiny of the society. And public has to be rational to cultivate children in a proper way, without going to any extreme.

PS：总体感觉不错，论证还需加强，语言表达很棒，向你学习！加油，一起努力！