issue130【米国有米】小组 第十次作业

Silence0706UID: 2289145

130"How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."

1.社会化就是一个人有出生开始知道能够适应社会的需求,形成完善人格所需要经理的过程. 孩子是社会的未来, 因为.... 我们知道社会的发展方向, 所以我们知道应该教孩子什么东使之适应, 只不过教授的方式方法有许多的问题.
2.与人相处
3.学校教育重视技能培养, 忽视人格培养
4.人生目标的确定
(1h,10m)

People who were educated by school or society during a period can live in the society by their own, every individual man has an opportunity to create his own world, but the most important thing is to be socialized as a civilized people. Children who must be educated to fit the developing society are the future of our society. But what should the adults teach these young people and how? The speaker point out that we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society. Nonetheless, I am not quiet agree with the point, I think we already know what should we do to guide them, but not very familiar with how to do it. I will state my view in few points.

In the first place, every person have his own personality which is been ignored during his grown time. Personality is very important to every single person in the world. If you are positive, you might want to create the fiction which comes from your mind. But, if you are negative, you might even don't want to wash your clothes. It is nothing concerning about ability that whether you capable to do or not. For example, there are two brothers in the same college. Both of them are smart and cute. One is very sunny, he would like to share his opinions with people and make who surround him feel happy. The other is negative, he always keep silent, even people try to speak to him; it is hard to let him open mouth. Years ago, the positive one made a great successful in the business world and the other one have a job to keep him alive and always accept the charity from his brother. Though this story, we can see the effect of personality. ironically, even everyone know the importance of personality,  the schools and parents still do not how lead to the right direction.

In the second place, until now, the education system in our world seems operate quiet well. Students can learn so many technologies and methods which will be used in future. However, it did not mention the life target of children so much. When I was in elementary school about eight or nine years old, teacher asked us "what is your dream" in our class several times. According to a recent research of CSDI (China Student's Diathesis Inquisition), 63.7% school in china never guide the children's life target. Life target is changeable with the increasing knowledge and growing mind. The dream which we have in our childhood might not as the same as now. Guidance is always needed from schools and parents.

In the third place, socialize need people get along with each other in order to corporate. Education system did something to help kids communicate with each other. But that is not enough; there are still lots of children too shy to talk. We should try harder making and make sure the education system goes a further way. (这段觉得应该加点, 不过不知道怎么写了```` =_=!  )

In sum, our society is trying its beswt to make our life comfortable and convenient. However, society still has problems to settle as quickly as possible. I can conclude that children are the future of our society and we ought to teach children how to bring about a better society.

bluecathyUID: 2231215

People who were educated by school or society during a period can live in the society by their own[这句话没大看懂，只有受了教育的人才能在这个社会独立生存？] every individual man has an opportunity to create his own world, but the most important thing is to be socialized as a civilized people. Children who must be educated to fit the developing society are the future of our society. But what should the adults teach these young people and[?] how? The speaker point out that we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society. Nonetheless, I am not quiet[quite] agree with the point, I think we already know[had already known] what should we do to guide them, but not very familiar with how to do it. I will state my view in few points.主题很明确，但是表达起来有些欠缺，不够简洁。开始段还是简洁些好。

In the first place, every person have his own personality which is[had] been ignored during his grown time. Personality is very important to every single person in the world. If you are positive, you might want to create the fiction which comes from your mind. But, if you are negative, you might even don't want to wash your clothes. It is nothing concerning about ability that whether you [are]capable to do or not. For example, there are two brothers in the same college. Both of them are smart and cute. One is very sunny, he would like to share his opinions with people and make who surround him feel happy. The other is negative, he always keep silent, even people try to speak to him; it is hard to let him open mouth. Years ago, the positive one made a great successful in the business world and the other one have a job to keep him alive and always accept the charity from his brother. Though[through] this story, we can see the effect of personality. ironically, even everyone know the importance of personality,  the schools and parents still do not [know]how lead to the right direction.行文中有些小错误，以后写的时候多注意吧。还有我不敢苟同于你的例子，在这个五光十色的年代，商业领袖不再是传统意义上的社交牛人了，尤其是IT等创业型产业，商业领袖们反倒可能比较内向而且专心于自己的设计什么的。

In the second place, until now, the education system in our world seems operate quiet well. Students can learn so many technologies and methods which will be used in future. However, it did not mention the life target of children so much. When I was in elementary school [at] about eight or nine years old, teacher asked us "what is your dream" in our class several times. According to a recent research of CSDI (China Student's Diathesis Inquisition), 63.7% school in china never guide the children's life target. Life target is changeable with the increasing knowledge and growing mind. The dream which we have in our childhood might not as the same as now. Guidance is always needed from schools and parents. 先说自己儿时经验，老师几次在课堂上问你们理想是什么。后来又列举了数据说明中国的教育从不引导学生的人生目标。然后再说人生目标随时在换，需要家长和老师的引导。我大致明白你的意思，但是不明白你写儿时的个人经验和你后面的论证有什么太大的联系。我觉得布局这个例子的效果要好于举这个例子。举了反倒有种不知道你想表达什么的感觉。并且，既然老师都不引导了，就别再举老师引导的例子了。我也是表达我的一种看法，也许我误会了你，说错请见谅啊。

In the third place, socialize need people get along with each other in order to corporate. Education system did something to help kids communicate with each other. But that is not enough; there are still lots of children too shy to talk. We should try harder making[？去掉好了] and make sure the education system goes a further way. (这段觉得应该加点, 不过不知道怎么写了```` =_=!  )举个例子吧，比如在教学中培养他们在团体中的主动性、积极性什么的，以求达到提高他们人际交往能力的目的。

In sum, our society is trying its beswt[best] to make our life comfortable and convenient. However, society still has problems to settle as quickly as possible. I can conclude that children are the future of our society and we ought to teach children how to bring about a better society.
相信你是才开始练笔不久，所以语言上没找到感觉。我刚开始和你一样，还不如你的，语言一塌糊涂得惨不忍睹啊！还有就是写之前一定要列好提纲，如果离考试还有一段时间，不要急于限时，从雕琢提纲和语言开始。写多了感觉就出来了，加油吧！相信自己肯定没问题的！