Issue130 【米国有米】小组 第十次作业

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题目
TOPIC: ISSUE130 - "How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."


提纲
1孩子的社会化确实很重要，因为我们面临的问题越来越复杂，要靠合作才能解决
2我们的教育系统在孩子社会化方面强调的不够，需要改革//学校、家庭
3孩子的社会化程度不足以决定社会的命运，还有很多其他因素。

正文
The degree of children's socialization exerts significant influence over the development of our society. Education today still need s to be improve when it comes to the cultivation of children’s interpersonal skills. However, the speaker seems to exaggerate the effects of children’s socialization, while ignoring some other essential factors.

Admittedly, socialization which is often associated with cooperation is required in more and more fields in modern society. Since we have to face with more complex social problems than in the past, it is hard for a single individual to solve the complicate problems. On one hand, people should know how to communicate with others and work with their team toward the same goal. Take the job of instructional designer for example. An instructional designer has to communicate with teachers, students, and the person who develops the courseware. He should find out the answers to these questions: what the students need to know? Is the design suitable for teacher to teach? Are there some difficulties for the courseware developers to develop such a courseware? To answer these questions, a designer should master the interpersonal skills to communicate with others, adjust their work by others' suggestion, and alter their design due to practical condition, and so on. On the other hand, it is conceivable that the development of our society will surely slow down or even be kept in stagnancy when the young generation grows up without abilities of cooperation. The trend of globalization will also be barricaded if they cannot join hand with people from different cultures.

As for our educational system, I have to point out that our educational system suffers from several flaws, and a reform is necessary for education to serve a better job for the society. First, our educational system emphasizes too much on facts memorizing, reasoning and logic thinking, all of which are tested in the examination and become the touch stone of the qualities of school education. Nevertheless, there is few programs focus on students’ socialization, such as interpersonal skills, which is also essential for the development of our society. Furthermore, our family education is a failure too. Parents tend to tell their children how to win the competitions but rather how to cooperate with others. As a result, children are gradually turning to self-center people who lack of interpersonal skills and do not care about others’ feeling. Apparently, it is urgent that reforms with emphasis on children’s socialization should be carried out in education.

However, the speaker seems to overstate the effect of children’s socialization, for only socialization does not suffice to determine the future of our society. A well socialized person might be able to communicate with others properly, yet he or she still has difficulties to improve our society, for there are some other more essential factors are required to determine the destiny of our society, such as critical thinking and strong conviction. Beveridge, the man who led to establishment of the social security system, is an apt illustration for this point. Socialized in a society without social security system in British, Beveridge developed a strong belief in realizing his dream creating a society with social welfare. Eventually, his famous report not only led the British government to establish such a system, but also pave the way for other countries’ social security system. If he was socialized to obey the inherent rules of the society and have no individual ideas or strong convictions, there would be no the famous Beveridge report and most countries in the world might still not have society security system today. Accordingly, people cannot create a better society unless they are able to think critically, come up with wise ideas and be committed to realize them.

In sum, due to the reasons mentioned above, it is safely to draw the conclusion that children's socialization plays such an important role in modern society that our education does not place sufficient emphasis on it. Nevertheless, we should not ignore the qualities of children aside from socialization, which would have contributed to determine the future of society.

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The degree of children's socialization exerts significant influence over the development of our society. Education today still needs to be improve improved when it comes to the cultivation of children’s interpersonal skills. However, the speaker seems to exaggerate the effects of children’s socialization, while ignoring some other essential factors.

Admittedly, socialization which is often associated with cooperation is required in more and more fields in modern society. Since we have to face with more complex social problems +today than in the past,比较级两边要对称 it is hard harder for a single individual to solve the complicate problems. On one hand, people should know how to communicate with others and work with their team toward the same goal. Take the job of instructional designer for example. An instructional designer has to communicate with teachers, students, and the person who develops the courseware. He should find out the answers to these questions: what the students need to know? 这里用acquire恰当点吧..感觉 Is the design suitable for teacher to teach? Are there some difficulties for the courseware developers to develop such a courseware? To answer these questions, a designer should master the interpersonal skills to communicate with others, adjust their work by others' suggestion, and alter their design due to practical condition, and so on. On the other hand, it is conceivable that the development of our society will surely slow down or even be kept in stagnancy when the young generation grows up withoutlacking 比较好吧，我们是缺乏不是没有 abilities of cooperation. The trend of globalization will also be barricaded if they cannot join hand with people from different cultures.这一句似乎多余，要不就干脆展开了再写点
这个例子能够证明人的社会化对社会的影响，但是不足以证明社会化与孩子的关系，觉得找一个需要孩子来完成的工作来说明该问题的重要性要比较好。

As for our educational system, I have to point out that our educational system suffers from several flaws, and a reform is necessary for education to serve a better job for the society. First, our educational system emphasizes too much on facts memorizing, reasoning and logic thinking, all of which are tested in the examination and become the touch stone of the qualities of school education. Nevertheless, there is few programs focus on students’ socialization, such as interpersonal skills, which is also essential for the development of our society. Furthermore, our family education is a failure too.中式英语 Parents who are overemphasis on the contests 教孩子赢比赛不是错，只是程度的问题 tend to tell their children how to win the competitions （but rather 不是太正规，）rather than how to cooperate with others. As a result, children are gradually turning to self-center people who lack of interpersonal skills and do not care about others’ feeling. Apparently, it is an urgent incident that reforms with emphasis on children’s socialization which should be carried out in education.
感觉student和child还是有区别的，child大概是18岁以前，属于心智未成熟阶段``这段的例子貌似也不是很恰当，如果加几句话强调是child再把有些词改下，这样论证还是可以的

However, the speaker seems to overstate the effect of children’s socialization, for only socialization does not suffice to determine the future of our society. A well socialized person might be able to communicate with others properly,这句有问题，社会化不仅仅是指能够与人很好的交流，泛指人接受社会文化的所有过程,即自然人或生物人成长为社会人并逐步适应社会生活的全部过程 yet he or she still has difficulties to improve our society, for there are some other more essential factors are required to determine the destiny of our society, such as critical thinking and strong conviction. Beveridge, the man who led to establishment of the social security system, is an apt illustration for this point. Socialized in a society without social security system in British, Beveridge developed a strong belief in realizing his dream creating a society with social welfare. Eventually, his famous report not only led the British government to establish such a system, but also pave the way for other countries’ social security system. If he was socialized to obey the inherent rules of the society and + do not have no 删掉 individual ideas or strong convictions, there would be no the famous Beveridge report and most countries in the world might still not have society security system today.这句怎么看着别扭，The famous Beveridge report will not be existed  and most of countries in the world might still do not have society security systems today Accordingly, people cannot create a better society unless they are able to think critically, come up with wise ideas and be committed这里要被动吗 to realize them. 结尾要总结一下段首、
这个例子用的不错，比较有说服力。
--其实我一开始也想写社会的发展不仅依赖孩子的社会化，不过后来查了下社会化的定义，觉得太宽泛了，不是很好写。我不是太清楚你所说的critical thinking & strong conviction属不属于这个范畴，但是如果你在前面把自己理解的社会化定义一下，再用这个例子应该是没有问题的。

In sum, due to the reasons mentioned above, it is safely to draw the conclusion that children's socialization plays such an important role in modern society that-> unfortunately, our education does not place sufficient emphasis on it. Nevertheless, we should not ignore the qualities of children aside from socialization, which would have contributed to determine the future of society.


这个是按时写完的吗？ 750字`` 我的妈妈呀….
用例子尽量和题目靠近比姣好，
语言上有些小错误，总体不错，行文也较流畅，写的很不错啊   PF一下``  :)

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当然是限时+修改啦。