issue5 关于education [自由女神作文第6次作业]

rebecca0302UID: 2249779

Issue 5  
A nation should require all its students to study the same national curriculum until they enter college rather than allow schools in different parts of the nation to determine which academic courses to offer

Outline
1 同意作者观点
2 理由
A   这是经验总结让学生少走弯路，减轻了学生负担。减少不公平待遇。比如，美国政府指定大纲. 如果要学生决定 会导致教学质量的下降。不公平现象增加
B   节约政府开支，适合国家宏观调空的目标 方便政府统一管理 如美国财政支出的变化
  学生知识体系一致，容易合作，知识结构的稳定导致社会稳定。
C   要承认的是，虽然学生的情况不同，应该因材施教。但是学校还是能调和关系，及时调整。比如指定了大纲和其他补充大纲2006年提高教学水平
3 结论 所以，学生好好学习，学校指定合适的大纲，合理分工，鼓励学生的探索精神
  
The statement above conceals all of the students should be educated with the same national curriculum rather than be given different academic courses in different parts of the nation before they enter college. I strongly agree with the statement. In my opinion. It is not only benefit for the individual ,but also is of great wealthy for the government and society.
Firstly, on the individual level. The national curriculum is the fruit of educators who are full of experiences. What they concluded would help the most of the students without meaningless working and help them studying efficiently . Students would have less burden and , with the nation’s govern, much unfair treatment would be solved. For instance, the No Child Left Behind Act passed with broad support from both Democratic and Republican members of Congress, the law has stirred considerable controversy in the education community.The law was acceped by people for its goal of improving the academic performance of all students, including poor students, minorities , and students with disabilities.If then letting students set the curriculum, as with letting students choose and design their own major in college,serves ultimately to dilute the quality of the educational experience unless a single advisor can denote significant amounts of time to the individual student. This amount of time, or even the expense to the student of this individual attention, seem to indicate that resources would be better allocated elsewhere.
On the other hand, It is benefit for a government in nation that conduct the same national curriculum to reduce finance in that there are less apparatus required to govern the educational system..Taking the educational system in America for example, It is the national curriculum that made the increased state involvement become the reality. In 1940 the states property taxes finances 30 of elementary and secondary school expresses, while the variety of the nation curriculum existing, in 1999 the revenues of the state governments increased to 49 percent. Moreover, with the accordance of the national curriculum, the similar lever and structural of the students’ knowledge system would be created, it is available for students to cooperate ,and then, increase the harmony and the stableness of the society.
Admittedly, As an old saying: there is no two same leaf existed on the world, it is the same with people, which would lead to a blunder conclusion that academic courses should be variety. They fail to take the appropriateness of the academic curriculum under consideration. For instance,In order to fit for the students’ satistaction. The Elementary and Secondary Education Act of 1965 were established,the law requires all public school teachers to be “highly qualified” in their subjest areas by the end of the 2006 school year.
In sum, Students should be offered the same academic curriculum before they studying in the university, though there would be some other relationship should be deal with between state’s education and students, There is the same goal that fostering of great talents through a cooperative, mentoring relationship.

jojotigerUID: 2186806

真的不好意思，现在才改完文章。
The statement above conceals all of the students should be educated with the same national curriculum rather than be given different academic courses in different parts of the nation before they enter college. I strongly agree with the statement. In my opinion. (这儿应该用逗号)It is not only benefit for the individual ,but also is of great wealthy for the government and society.（开头表明态度，并给出要论述项，非常工整，值得学习）
Firstly, on the individual level.（我觉得这里也可以不写Firstly，直接写individual方面，因为第一段已经交代的很清楚，后面一段也有On the other hand。还有这里也该用逗号） The national curriculum is the fruit of educators who are full of experiences. What they concluded would help the most of the students without meaningless working and help them studying efficiently. Students would have less burden and , with the nation’s govern, much unfair treatment would be solved. （减少不公正待遇为什么和统一的教学有关系，原因没有讲清楚）For instance, the No Child Left Behind Act passed with broad support from both Democratic and Republican members of Congress, the law has stirred considerable controversy in the education community. The law was acceped （拼写）by people for its goal of improving the academic performance of all students, including poor students, minorities , and students with disabilities. If then letting students set the curriculum, as with letting students choose and design their own major in college, serves ultimately to dilute the quality of the educational experience unless a single advisor can denote significant amounts of time to the individual student. This amount of time, or even the expense to the student of this individual attention, seem(谓语动词是单数) to indicate that resources would be better allocated elsewhere.（这段后半部分论证我认为不是很好，因为原题目是国家对地方，虽然学生个人选择有地方特征，但是作者并没有突出这一点）
On the other hand.（逗号） It is benefit for a government in nation that conduct the same national curriculum to reduce finance in that there are less apparatus required to govern the educational system. Taking the educational system in America for example, It（小写） is the national curriculum that made the increased state involvement become the reality. In 1940 the states property taxes finances 30 of elementary and secondary school expresses, while the variety of the nation curriculum existing, in 1999 the revenues of the state governments increased to 49 percent.（从政府收支方面来论述正面观点）Moreover, with the accordance of the national curriculum, the similar lever and structural of the students’ knowledge system would be created, it is available for students to cooperate ,and then, increase the harmony and the stableness of the society.（从造福社会的角度论述观点）
Admittedly, As（小写） an old saying: there is no two same leaf existed on the world, （挺好的）it is the same with people, which would lead to a blunder conclusion that academic courses should be variety. They fail to take the appropriateness of the academic curriculum under consideration. For instance, In order to fit for the students’ satistaction(spelling). The Elementary and Secondary Education Act of 1965 were established, the law requires all public school teachers to be “highly qualified” in their subjest(spelling) areas by the end of the 2006 school year.（反面论证）
In sum, Students should be offered the same academic curriculum before they studying in the university, though there would be some other relationship should be deal with between state’s education and students, There is the same goal that fostering of great talents through a cooperative, mentoring relationship.（结尾很精彩，可以借鉴）

[ 本帖最后由 jojotiger 于 2007-1-29 00:54 编辑 ]