Argument159【大杀四方作文互改小组】第四次作业 有拍必回

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gter大杀四方作文互改小组第四次作业Arg 159

Topic:
The nation of Claria covers a vast physical area. But despite wide geographic differences, many citizens are experiencing rising costs of electricity. A recent study of household electric costs in Claria found that families who cooled their houses with fans alone spent more on electricity than did families using air conditioners alone for cooling. However, those households that reported using both fans and air conditioners spent less on electricity than those households that used either fans or air conditions alone. Thus, the citizens of Claria should follow the study’s recommendation and use both air conditioners and fans in order to save money on electricity.

Syllabus in Chinese:
第一：电费不光光由制冷费用组成。
第二：人物的本身性质导致的。
第三：地区差别会导致各地区温度的不同。

It is very kind of this study maker to give residents of Claria some suggestion on how to save money on electricity. His or her hard work and kindness should be appreciated; however, we should also notice that it is not so logical and completed as it seems.

First, as mentioned in the argument, the suggestion given is on how to save money on electricity, however, the study is only focused on cooling houses cost without any other elements of electricity money compared or even mentioned. The comparison of different families on cost of electricity would be more meaningful if the cost were grouped into detailed parts like those causing by cooling the houses, those using for lighting, those consumed by computers, and those resulting from washing machine. These statistics could provide residents in Claria with a clear understanding of which kinds of measure are more beneficial.

The argument above is weakened by the fact that it does not take into account the inherent difference among households who use fans only, who use air conditioners only and those who use both. As we know, it needs more power with air conditioner in the same period than with fans, which makes households using air conditioners more careful and just hold on until the temperature rises high enough, let alone those who use different machines according to temperature, who are quite possible more sensitive about electricity cost. It may, in fact, be their natural caution that keeps them out of high electricity cost rather than the machine itself.

The study also goes not differentiate between geographic areas. The conclusion that using both air conditioners and fans can lead to decrease of money on electricity suggests that it is presumed that different physical area have the same condition. This is certainly not the case.

The argument for cooling houses based on a recent study could provide important information and give residents in Claria a possible way of saving money. Before conclusions about using fans or air conditions or both are reached, however, a more complete understanding of the cost is needed.

参考：
雷同例文hospital statistics regarding people

我遇到的问题：
1.         文章的TS到底应该是怎么样的we should also notice that it is not so logical and completed as it seems.可以称之为TS么？
2.         电费省了一点点，但是购买的一次性消费太大，也不一定要采取.是不是有点强词夺理.
3.         这三点的连接顺序应该是怎样的.逻辑上怎么连接起来。
4.         虚拟语气的使用不是很有感觉. The comparison of different families on cost of electricity would be more meaningful if the cost were grouped into detailed parts
5.         英语中简洁的意义到底是什么。有的时候和足够的扩展是相冲突的。我觉得第二段后面那些都很废话，不过反问就是这样的写作方式。
6.         第三点不知道怎么扩充。