issue51 graduate06--Hamming组 自己的冲刺issue作业第13篇

graduate06UID: 2223299

TOPIC: ISSUE51 - "Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student."

WORDS: 534          TIME: 45:00          DATE: 2007-1-30  错字：13个
自改版
Admittedly, if education can meet the individual needs and interests of each student, learners will benefit a lot. However, due to in the different stage the objective of education is different, the statement that education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the students is real or imagined must be examined in the different phases of time.
Examine  
In the primary school stage, the aim of school is to help pupils to love study. So the best way is to design some special courses to meet the students' personal needs. A primary school in my community, for example, it allowed students to choose one or two courses they like, and open the classes for them. This program stimulated students' interests greatly, before adopting such policy, most students preferred watching TV or playing games to studying, however, after school provided such courses, the majority students spent much more time in learning and they said that they feel very happy in studying.有点唐突的结尾，应该再加一句；

In the secondary school stage, the end of schools is complicated than the primary schools'. They should help students lay a solitude foundation for students' future life and study, especially, they should teach students to communicate and cooperate with other students. One telling example involves a Chinese student--Ma Jiajue. Ma Jiajue, who killed his four classmates three years ago, shocked all people in China. The key reason that why he committed such crime is because when he was a middle school student, his school emphasized personal interests to much, he withdrew with communicating with other students gradually, and became unsociable and eccentric. At last, he killed his roommates because of a petty quarrel when he was a sophomore. This terrible example informs us that the teachers should not only focus on students' personal interests but also help them to be healthy men in this phase.

In the university stage, the objective of college and university is to help students to find their ideals and interests of life. No matter one student wants to find a job or goes on studying for higher degrees after graduation, if they could find their interests of life, they will have more opportunities to success than others. A good example is Kai-Fu Lee's story of major choosing. Kai-Fu Lee, who is the famous scientist of computer science and the vice-president of Google now, was major in law that he did not like it very much when he was a freshman in Columbia University. Columbia University tried them best to meet students' personal interests, so he had opportunity to learn computer courses and found he were interest in it very much. Thus, he changed his major to computer science and made amazing success in this field. From this example we know that university meeting students' special needs and interests will help them success in the future.
感觉这段的TS稍微有一点点地偏。
In different stages the objective of educational institutions is different, thus we cannot say that education will be effective only when it meets the individual needs and interests of each other. In the primary and university stages, educators should focus on satisfying students' personal needs and interests. However, in the secondary school stage, helping students to develop healthily and comprehensively is the most important responsibility of educators.

rt860113UID: 2256886

Admittedly, if education can meet the individual needs and interestsof each student, learners will benefit a lot. However, due to in the differentstage the objective of education is different, the statement that educationwill be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet thestudents is real or imagined must be examined in thedifferent phases of time.
Examine (?这是什么意思?)
In the primary school stage, the aim of schoolis to help pupils to love study. So the best way is to design some specialcourses to meet the students' personal needs. A primary school in my community,for example, it allowed students to choose one or two courses they like, andopen the classes for them. This program(该词用在这里似乎不太合适measure如何) stimulated students' interests greatly, before adopting suchpolicy, most students preferred watching TV or playing games tostudying, however, after school provided such courses, the majority studentsspent much more time in learning and they said that they feel(felt) veryhappy in studying.(确实感觉有一些唐突,我觉得最后可以加一些概括性的话,突出以下想表达的内容)

In the secondary school stage, the end ofschools is complicated than the primary schools'. They should help students laya solitude(这个词市孤独的意思,可改为solid) foundation for students'future life and study, especially, they should teach students tocommunicate and cooperate with other students. One telling example involves aChinese student--Ma Jiajue. Ma Jiajue, who killed his four classmates threeyears ago, shocked all people in China. The keyreason that why he committed such crime is because when he was a middle schoolstudent, his school emphasized personal interests to much, he withdrew withcommunicating with other students gradually, and became unsociable andeccentric. At last, he killed his roommates because of a petty quarrel when hewas a sophomore. This terrible example informs us that the teachers should notonly focus on students' personal interests but also help them to be healthy menin this phase.

In the university stage, the objective of college anduniversity is to help students to find their ideals and interests of life. Nomatter one student wants to find a job or goes on studying for higher degreesafter graduation, if they could find their interests of life, they will havemore opportunities to success than others. A good example is Kai-Fu Lee's storyof major choosing. Kai-Fu Lee, who is the famous scientist of computer scienceand the vice-president of Google now, was major in law that he did notlike it very much when he was a freshman in Columbia University. ColumbiaUniversity tried them(their) best to meet students' personal interests, so he hadopportunity to learn computer courses and found he were interest in it verymuch. Thus, he changed his major to computer science and made amazingsuccess in this field. From this example we know that university meetingstudents' special needs and interests will help them success in the future.

In different stages the objective of educational institutions is different,thus we cannot say that education will be effective only when it meets theindividual needs and interests of each other. In the primary and universitystages, educators should focus on satisfying students' personal needsand interests. However, in the secondary school stage, helping students todevelop healthily and comprehensively is the most importantresponsibility of educators.

整篇文章我觉得思路挺新颖的,分阶段的来阐述自己的观点,但我觉得把握起来挺困难的,很容易把重点写跑了,所以建议作者还是按照比较常规的套路来写可能比较保险一些(个人意见)

graduate06UID: 2223299

同意你的观点，我昨晚和同学讨论到3点，就是不很稳妥，我会调整的。
thanks a lot!