ISSUE4 帮忙修改

txp139UID: 2237448

ISSUE 4
I strongly agree with the assertion that one filed of study would not advance significantly without expertise from various field. Many kinds of nature phenomenon only be illustrated by synthetic knowledge. Otherwise, we can not understand the real matter of them.
  
Admittedly, the interrelated knowledge plays an important role in science research. The knowledge of diverse field can develop other subject significantly. For instance, without the advanced of Mathematics, the area of Physics would not develop so rapidly. The base research of Physics is established by the methodology of Calculus, however, the calculus is one by-product of the Physics. Newton, the initiator of Calculus, is a very famous Physicist who established the classical dynamics. He makes a great contribution in both Mathematics and Physics. Without the knowledge of interaction area, he would not be so success.

Synthetic knowledge also makes a deep comprehension and insight when you do a research. Further more, it helps to make a big break in some area. John Nash, an Economy Nobel Prize winner, who in favor of Mathematic and likes to play the stratagem games. His college theorem Nash Equilibrium makes a huge impact in the economy area. His existence proof is the one of first application of Kakutuni’s Fixed-point theorem. The Nash Equilibrium is constructed by the theory of both stratagem game and calculation. If Nash was short of one field, the theorem could not be discovered.

The interrelated fields of knowledge can demonstrate the new theory correct or not. The well knowing in mathematics can verify the new conclusion of Physics. In the area of Biology, one important way to evaluate a new achievement is use the method which to demonstrate the Chemistry conclusion. And there are still many other fields need the help of the interrelated knowledge. For example, the preschool education needs the theory of psychology, linguistics, and so on. One research pointed out, the emotion will enhance or reduce the efficiency of the study, Knowing well in Psychology can help to increasing the positive emotion that directly increasing the effect of the study. Such as, the happy study is a good way for student to increasing the study effect. The student will get a cheerful feeling from the proceeding of it. In that case, they will fall in love with the study, and study consciousness. And for the preschool children, the langue is a very important tool for they too understand the outside worlds. The parents who lack of the knowledge in linguistics will directly infect the children’s ability of speaking and listening,           

In sum, no area of intellectual inquiry can keep walking without the interrelated knowledge. With rapid developing of science, more and more achievement of research reflects that the synthetic- knowledge is more and more important. However, if we want to have a big break in a certain field, the first and the most important thing is to master all the foundational knowledge. In that case, one who wants to be success in a certain area, he must be work hard in its all foundational subject.

[ 本帖最后由 kito9695 于 2007-1-31 18:09 编辑 ]

xxybUID: 2263081

:handshake 我今天也写了I4~~

你的例子很好啊！！~~~~喜欢NASH的例子

结尾也不错，没有直接重新PARAPHRASE

我觉得有个问题是，你的论很少，述比较多~~~

以后经常交流啊~~~

我还没评过文章，要先看看要求:loveliness:

kito9695UID: 209685

发帖格式错误，这次帮你改了。下次注意参考置顶的帖子学习。

kooyiiUID: 2177986

    I  strongly agree with the assertion that one filed of study would not advance significantly without expertise from various field. Many  kinds of nature phenomenon only be illustrated by synthetic knowledge. Otherwise, we can not understand the real matter of them.（开头很简洁，ETS最喜欢了~）
  
    Admittedly（这里用了让步？那后面应该是相反的观点,3个观点一致的话不好用这个词吧）, the interrelated knowledge plays an important role in science research. The knowledge of diverse field can develop（这里换成benefit会不会好点？） other subject significantly. For instance, without the advanced of Mathematics, the area of Physics would not develop so rapidly. The base research of Physics is established by the methodology of Calculus , however(没有转折,换), the calculus is one by-product of the Physics. Newton, the initiator of Calculus, is a very famous Physicist who established the classical dynamics. He makes a great contribution in both Mathematics and Physics. Without the knowledge of interaction area, he would not be so success.

    Synthetic knowledge also makes a deep comprehension and insight when you do a research. Further more, it helps to make a big break in some area（这句话什么意思？big break没见过，是大成就的意思吗？不懂…）. John Nash, an Economy Nobel Prize winner, who in favor of Mathematic and likes to play the stratagem games. His college theorem Nash Equilibrium makes a huge impact in the economy area. His existence proof is the one of first application of Kakutuni’s Fixed-point theorem. The Nash Equilibrium is constructed by the theory of both stratagem game and calculation. If Nash was short of one field, the theorem could not be discovered.（NASH这个例子不错）(有没有觉得你两段的例子表达的是一个意思,就是一个人,拥有某一学科的知识,但是他在另一学科也作出贡献?第二个观点建议还是换一下,看不出跟第一个描述的有什么本质上的差别,你可以写, two different subjects can give birth to a new branch of study)

   The interrelated fields of knowledge can demonstrate the new theory correct or not（用个whether什么的吧，读起来怪怪的呵）. The well knowing（你确定这种用法吗）mathematics can verify the new conclusion of Physics. In the area of Biology, one important way to evaluate a new achievement is use the method which to（去掉to？）demonstrate the Chemistry conclusion. And there are still many other fields need the help of the interrelated knowledge. For example, the preschool education needs the theory of psychology, linguistics, and so on. One research pointed out, the emotion will enhance or reduce the efficiency of the study, Knowing well in Psychology can help to increasing the positive emotion that directly increasing the effect of the study. Such as, the happy study is a good way for student to increasing the study effect. The student will get a cheerful feeling from the proceeding of it. In that case, they will fall in love with the study, and study consciousness（是不是讲得有点多余了，能不能缩短点，合成一个长句？）. And for the preschool children, the langue is a very important tool for they too（to） understand the outside worlds（世界难道有N个？）. The parents who lack of the knowledge in linguistics will directly infect the children’s ability of speaking and listening。（这一段的前面部分的观点很新颖，看得很爽~呵呵~但是后面论述的东西跟你的TS是不是不一致了？）      

In sum, no area of intellectual inquiry can keep walking without the interrelated knowledge. With rapid developing of science, more and more（a growing number of尽量变化下说法吧） achievement of research reflects that the synthetic- knowledge is more and more important. However, if we want to have a big break in a certain field, the first and the most important thing is to master all the foundational knowledge（这句话有点逻辑上的错误吧，建议不要把话说得那么绝对，你想在数学上有成就，难道你也要把地理的基础知识给学了？只是需要外领域的知识,但不是所有领域的知识）. In that case, one who wants to be success in a certain area, he must be work hard in its all foundational subject.（这个话题说的是需不需要外领域的知识，不要把话题扯得太远，结尾最好能回到话题本身来）

1.论述不太有力,虽然很多例子都举得不错,但是前面两个观点的论述显得少了点,第3个观点的论述又显得有点尾大不掉~整篇文章有那么一点不平衡。
2.句式跟词汇用得比较简单，不过这个不是问题，写多了看多了自然会好起来的，第一次嘛~呵呵~我觉得你可以试着去把自己文章里面的一些句子合一合，多看看范文怎么写句子的，不然写出来没有那种跌宕起伏的感觉，都是差不多相同的长度。还有少用一点and。
3.语法的错误我没有改（语法太菜不敢动手呵呵~），可能还是会有的，你自己再琢磨下~
4.能写出来还是很不错的，继续+u~你很有潜力啊 不过好像你是最先考的 所以要多下点功夫咯~~~good luck~

[ 本帖最后由 kooyii 于 2007-2-1 16:03 编辑 ]