Argument26 [四海一家] 第一次作业 谢谢赐教

dream191919UID: 2245981

Argument26   The following appeared in a memo from the chairperson of the school board in the town of Saluda.

"For the past five years, Mr. Charles Schade has been the music director at Steel City High School, and during that time the school band from Steel City High has won three regional band competitions. In addition, the quality of the music rehearsal facilities and musical instruments at Steel City High has improved markedly over the past five years. Because of such successes at Steel City High, the Saluda school board should hire Mr. Schade to plan and direct the general music education programs for the entire Saluda school system."



In this argument, the arguer concludes that the Saluda school should hire Mr.Schade to plan and direct the general music education programs for entire Saluds school system. To support this conclusion, the arguer point out that during the time Mr. Charles Schade was the music director at Steel City High School, the school band from Steel City High has won three regional band competitions. In addition, the argue reasons that the quality of the music rehearsal facilities and musical instrments at Steel City High has improved markedly over the past five years. However, this argument suffers several critical fallacies.
First, the argument is based on a false analogy. Although Mr. Charles Schade has brought the Streel City High School much glory, it dosen't mean he will bring the same effective execution to Saluda school and make it success too. Because the places of these two schools located are different, it is entirely possible that the music atmosphere in Steel City is better than that in the town of Saluda, even music has become part of the Streel City people's life. Moreover, is the fact past representative enough to show that Mr. Charles Schade will continue be keen on that kind of music competition. So the author should take both place and time into account before making the final conclusion.
Second, the arguer commits a fallacy of hasty generalization. The argument lacks more specific information about how much effort Mr. Charles Schade has offered during the reginal band competitions and what he has done to the whole band. In another word the author fails to establish the relationship between Mr.Schade and the outstanding success of the Steel City High School band. So it cannot convince us that Mr. Charle contributes good mark of music band.
Another flaw that weakens the logic of the argument is that the arguer didn't take other reasons into account. The author fails to rule out the fact that winning in the regional competitions three times cannot fully conclude the performance of this band is outstanding too. Further more, we can get no imformation of the achievement of the school of town of Saluda, maybe it have taken part in some larger scope competition and more successful than that of Steel City High School.
Before I come to my concludion, it is necessary to point out another flaw in the argument. The quality of the music rehearsal facilities and musical instruments at Steel City High has improved markedly over the past five years cannot indicate clear relationship associated with Mr. Charles.
In conclusion, the arguer fails to establish a causal relationship between Mr Charles and the success of Steel City School. Without further analysis, to hire Mr. Schade to plan and direct the general music education programs for the entire Saluda school system is still in boubt.





自己检查了几遍,恭候赐教,万分感谢！！（垮垮拿砖拍吧）thxthxthxthxthxthxthxthxthxthxthxthx

yuzhongwumeiUID: 2155222

In this argument, the arguer concludes that the Saluda school should hire Mr.Schade to plan and direct the general music education programs for entire Saluds school system. To support this conclusion, the arguer point out that during the time Mr. Charles Schade was the music director at Steel City High School, the school band from Steel City High has won three regional band competitions. In addition, the argue reasons that the quality of the music rehearsal facilities and musical instrments at Steel City High has improved markedly over the past five years. (这句话你想表达什么意思啊?我觉得这不是作者reason的,而是一个事实)However, this argument suffers several critical fallacies.

First, the argument is based on a false analogy. Although Mr. Charles Schade has brought the Streel City High School much glory, it dosen't mean he will bring the same effective execution to Saluda school and make it success too. Because the places of these two schools located are different(感觉这句话说的太随意了.地理位置不同是一定的,你应该说明到底是什么不同), it is entirely possible that the music atmosphere in Steel City is better than that in the town of Saluda, even music has become part of the Streel City people's life. Moreover, is the fact past ?representative enough to show that Mr. Charles Schade will continue be keen on that kind of music competition. So the author should take both place and time into account before making the final conclusion.观点很不错啊!

Second, the arguer commits a fallacy of hasty generalization. The argument lacks more specific information about how much effort Mr. Charles Schade has offered during the reginal band competitions and what he has done to the whole band. In another word the author fails to establish the relationship between Mr.Schade and the outstanding success of the Steel City High School band. So it cannot convince us that Mr. Charle contributes good mark of music band.(contributes a lot to the music band)

Another flaw that weakens the logic of the argument is that the arguer didn't take other reasons into account.时态要保持一致 The author fails to rule out the fact that winning in the regional competitions three times cannot fully conclude the performance of this band is outstanding too. Further more, we can get no imformation of the achievement of the school of town of Saluda, maybe it have taken part in some larger scope competition and more successful than that of Steel City High School.

Before I come to my concludion, it is necessary to point out another flaw in the argument. The quality of the music rehearsal facilities and musical instruments at Steel City High has improved markedly over the past five years cannot indicate clear relationship associated with Mr. Charles.
In conclusion, the arguer fails to establish a causal relationship between Mr Charles and the success of Steel City School. Without further analysis, to hire Mr. Schade to plan and direct the general music education programs for the entire Saluda school system is still in boubt.

总得来说还不错嘛,觉得每段的论证过程是否应该再充实些

dream191919UID: 2245981

谢谢修改

新的一步UID: 2194020

Argument26   The following appeared in a memo from the chairperson of the school board in the town of Saluda.
"For the past five years, Mr. Charles Schade has been the music director at Steel City High School, and during that time the school band from Steel City High has won three regional band competitions. In addition, the quality of the music rehearsal facilities and musical instruments at Steel City High has improved markedly over the past five years. Because of such successes at Steel City High, the Saluda school board should hire Mr. Schade to plan and direct the general music education programs for the entire Saluda school system."

In this argument, the arguer concludes that the Saluda school should hire Mr.Schade to plan and direct the general music education programs for entire Saluds school system. To support this conclusion, the arguer point out that during the time Mr. Charles Schade was the music director at Steel City High School, the school band from Steel City High has won three regional band competitions. In addition, the argue reasons我也感觉reason这个词用在这里不太好,用refer to that the quality of the music rehearsal facilities and musical instrmentsinstruments at Steel City High has improved markedly over the past five years. However, this argument suffers several critical fallacies. 这一段包括你我好象很多人都这么写, 会不会太模式化?现在我的解决方法就是尽可能把它写得短呵呵
First, the argument is based on a false analogy. 不错,很精辟的观点Although Mr. Charles Schade has brought the Streel City High School much glory, it dosen'tdoesn’t mean he will bring the same effective execution to Saluda school and make it success too. Because the places of these two schools located are different, it is entirely possible that the music atmosphere in Steel City is better than that in the town of Saluda, even music has become part of the Streel City people's life. Moreover, is the fact past representative enough to show that Mr. Charles Schade will continue be keen on that kind of music competition这句话是疑问句?应该是否定句吧. So the author should take both place and time into account before making the final conclusion.
Second, the arguer commits a fallacy of hasty generalization根据作者在下面所描述的这里是一个强加因果关系的错误,并不是小范围推广的错误吧. The argument lacks more specific information about how much effort Mr. Charles Schade has offered during the reginal band competitions and what he has done to the whole band. In another word the author fails to establish the relationship between Mr.Schade and the outstanding success of the Steel City High School band. So it cannot convince us that Mr. Charle contributes good mark of music bandmakes a great contribution to the music band.
Another flaw that weakens the logic of the argument is that the arguer didn't take other reasons 这里最好加上why the music bands could win three regional competitionsinto account. The author fails to rule out the fact that winning in the regional competitions three times cannot fully conclude the performance of this band is outstanding too. Further more, we can get no imformationinformation of the achievement of the school of town of Saluda, maybe it have taken part in some larger scope competition and more successful than that of Steel City High School.
Before I come to my concludion这个词在ISSUE中写拼错了,请作者今后注意conclusion, it is necessary to point out another flaw in the argument. The quality of the music rehearsal facilities and musical instruments at Steel City High has improved markedly over the past five years cannot indicate clear relationship associated with Mr. Charles.这里可以补充一些可能的原因, 比如说校长对乐队很喜欢,多拨了一部分款等
In conclusion, the arguer fails to establish a causal relationship between Mr Charles and the success of Steel City School. Without further analysis, to hire Mr. Schade to plan and direct the general music education programs for the entire Saluda school system is still in boubt.最好加上一点需要argument补充的信息
总的来说,作者把所有的问题都找出来了,值得赞赏!那个错误的类比我就没看出来呵呵
最后一个问题写得稍显仓促,可能是时间不够吧
小弟的拙见,见笑了, 最后还是问下吧,还能加入你们组吗?你们布置的两次作业我已经完成了呵呵

[ 本帖最后由 新的一步 于 2007-2-4 09:29 编辑 ]