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It is no doubt that how children are socialized today plays a vital role in the progress of our society. Nevertheless, further reflection tells us that there are many other crucial elements, all of which and the socialization put together determine the fate of society. Fortunately, people, nowadays, have obtained a comparably proper way to bring up our children, capable of building a prosperous society.Admittedly, our current society has made use of some substantial advantages by resentful socialization, which process by people, especially children, learning acceptable behaviors for a given environment. It is a truth universally acknowledged that the booming and prosperous society, nowadays, is one, full of extensive cooperation and vehement competition, both of which give an impulse to the prosperity of our society. On the one hand, in the twenty-first century whose topic is cooperation, all people, used to be required to learn to communicate and cooperate with others for a common pursuit. For instance, the completion of the blueprint of the human genome，as a milestone of the development of bioscience, is a splendid achievement attained by cooperation of more than a thousand excellent scientists from all over the world. （笑，提一个建议，逗号插入语太多不好。虽然我的文章也有这个毛病。太多逗号容易让读的人感觉一顿一顿的，很难思绪连贯地把文章读完。你可以自己试着读读看） Another example is the successful sending of China’s second manned spacecraft, “ShenZhou Sixth”, which is also the fruit of collective effects of thousands of people. On the other hand, competitions are likely to be found in every corner in the world. Learning to deal with the drastic competition, for our children who are expected to succeed, is a compulsory course in their growth. Therefore, our parents or society, nowadays, has（应该是should 吧，前面没提到已经认识到的问题，只提到为什么要注重社会化）well relized the importance of the socialization of children, which contains learning to cooperate and compete with others in our society. However, when focusing on the proper socialization, parents should not ignore other vital elements which also make a strong impact on the growth of our children, such as commanding of knowledge of science and moral education. To begin with, science, has an enormous and far-reaching impact on our society largely through technology—the use of scientific knowledge for the special purpose. Without the progress of science, the human genome project is nothing but a mare's nest. Without the progress of science, how “ShenZhou Sixth” succeed to be launched. Without the progress of science, the fate of our society is doomed to be dim. Only our children well mastering the knowledge of science, the future of our society can be shining. （这几句写得好啊，偶稀饭~） Additionally, the moral education of our children, which closely related to the successfully construct a harmonious society, is another key point parents should emphasize. （这部分没有展开来说，太遗憾了。如果能把这部分再说一说就完美了）Educated to become the salt of the earth, our children are more likely to devote to construction of society. In sum, children are the future of our society, and therefore how to rise（raise） children determine the destiny of society. Fortunately, according to the rapid development and the fateful progress of society, such as those discussed above it is not hard to see that our parents and our society have found out a relatively right way to rise our children to bring about a better society（这个偶没看出来啊……）. Even though there still may be some problems, such as the psychological problems and criminals of the juvenile, at which we are still puzzled. （感觉这个sum跟前面有点脱钩了。）However, through proper education, which include socialization, commanding of science and moral education, all of us believe, our children will become better and therefore our society and our children will own a more beautiful tomorrow. 觉得你的词汇拿捏的很好。例子也举得不错，思路也比较清楚。恩，比41强太多了。继续加油~
[ 本帖最后由 flaflagogo 于 2007-2-1 12:28 编辑 ] | 
发表于 2007-2-1 00:10:18
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