Argument147 【Persistence小组】第2次作业

worenleflyUID: 2270315

TOPIC: ARGUMENT147 - The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.
"Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players
suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were
most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require
the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign
directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of
Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months."

In this argument , the author concludes that the sales of Whirlwind video games will increase dramatically in the next few
months. To estabish the argument , the author provides a survey of video-game players carried out in recent days which gives
the result  that the players prefer the lifelike graphical games which need the most up-to-date computers. It appears prefect
, but unconvincing for several critical flaws.
First of all, the survey is not representative that there isnot any statistic to support that the players participated in the
survey are all in the ages from 10 to 25 in which age range of players in the target Whirlwind extensively advertising
campaign directed at .And also there is no clear statistic to reveal that  the players from 10 to 25 years old is the main
age-group most likely to play video games.If the age-group ,player from 10 to 25 , only stands for a tiny portion of the
whole player group , we should not be so sure about  the conclusion that the sales would increase just because having
advertised to the young group people .
Second,  though the lifelike graphics which require the most up-to-date computer to run attract more eyes of video games
players , no sufficient proof estabished that the people would buy the video games from Whirlwind which provide lifelike
graphics . The author commits a fallacy of haste generalization. Even if the games' graphics meet the features a excellent
game should prossess , the players maybe donot pursue it because other factors like the subject , the main story , the
operability ,rather than the factor of graphics,influence the sales of video games greatly . In the other side , if the games
only have wonderful graphics we would not like to buy it becasue we just players who only want to find more jun in the
games,not the artists.
Third,If a game has wonderful lifelike graphics ,in general it requires a computer up-to-date to run which will be a
additional spent on the game icreased the total costs of playing a game. In most proportion of the common players ,the goal
of playing video games is only finding more jun in a vivid form which more stimulative , and more colorful. If the total cost
increased , even the game likes paradise , it would be still difficult to popularize extensively which can make Whirlwind
get more and more profits to be reversed.
Additionally, the author ignores the regional economic distinct. It means that even in a certain region where people is not
propetous a large mount of player favor the game, but they cannot offord it, if the price of the game which has high quality
of graphic is too far from the average consumption.
As it stands, the argument is not well reasoned. To evaluated the argument, the author would have to illustate that the games
from Whirlwind meet the major proportion of players tastes ,and price should not be too far from the average purchasing power
of the general player ,in such circumstance Whirlwind maybe revesers.

欣馨之火UID: 2183210

In this argument , the author concludes that the sales of Whirlwind video games will increase dramatically in the next few months. To estabish the argument , the author provides a survey of video-game players carried out in recent days which gives the result  that the players prefer the lifelike graphical games which need the most up-to-date computers. It appears prefect , but (这么安排即是：appears unconvincing，似乎不妥，建议在unconvincing 前加一个助动词或者不及物动词。最好别让appear来接unconvincing) unconvincing for several critical flaws.

First of all, the survey is not representative that there isnot any statistic to support that the players participated in the survey are all in the ages from 10 to 25 in which age range of players in the target Whirlwind extensively advertising campaign directed at .And also there is no clear statistic to reveal that  the players from 10 to 25 years old is the main age-group most likely to play video games.If the age-group ,player from 10 to 25 , only stands for a tiny portion of the
whole player group , we should not be so sure about  the conclusion that the sales would increase just because having advertised to the young group people . （用1段把suvey和10～25岁两个问题整合的描述了，做得比较好！）

Second,  though the lifelike graphics which require the most up-to-date computer to run attract more eyes of video games players , no sufficient proof estabished that the people would buy the video games from Whirlwind which provide lifelike graphics . The author commits a fallacy of haste generalization. Even if the games' graphics meet the features a excellent game should prossess , the players maybe donot pursue it because other factors like the subject , the main story , the operability ,rather than the factor of graphics,influence the sales of video games greatly . In the other side , if the games only have wonderful graphics we would not like to buy it becasue we just players who only want to find more jun in the games,not the artists.

Third,If a game has wonderful lifelike graphics ,in general it requires a computer up-to-date to run which will be a additional spent on the game icreased the total costs of playing a game. In most proportion of the common players ,the goal of playing video games is only finding more jun in a vivid form which more stimulative , and more colorful. If the total cost increased , even the game likes paradise , it would be still difficult to popularize extensively which can make Whirlwind get more and more profits to be reversed.  （这一段是上一段的让步论述，也做得比较好！）

Additionally, the author ignores the regional economic distinct. It means that even in a certain region where people is not propetous a large mount of player favor the game, but they cannot offord it, if the price of the game which has high quality of graphic is too far from the average consumption.

As it stands, the argument is not well reasoned. To evaluated the argument, the author would have to illustate that the games from Whirlwind meet the major proportion of players tastes ,and price should not be too far from the average purchasing power of the general player ,in such circumstance Whirlwind maybe revesers.

1.        文章逻辑结构比较强。思想性和结构性没有大问题。另：似乎这个和网上流行的“提纲”思路完全吻合。个人认为，对于A，问题不大。
2.        单词拼写错误太多，以后在写的时候要更加小心。毕竟正式考试的时候，留给自己检查的时间也不会太多。

[ 本帖最后由 欣馨之火 于 2007-2-3 14:46 编辑 ]